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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Boris Johnson is actually a terrible public speaker.

146 replies

lemonsandlimes123 · 02/10/2019 12:06

Listening to his speech on the radio. It's very stilted lacks flow and certainly isn't soaring oratory.

Not natural sounding, not funny either.

Regardless of what you think of his poliitcs is there anyone who thinks he is a good speaker?

OP posts:
Dahlietta · 02/10/2019 15:38

Have I missed something? Who has he beaten up?

Wasn't there a news story where his neighbours called the police because they heard arguments and screaming coming from his house? I presume that's what this poster was referring to.

SerendipityJane · 02/10/2019 15:42

That weird speech to the UN about pink eyed terminators sent back to cull humans and mattresses that monitor your nightmares was just fucking bizarre.

Sadly he - or team Boris - have just discovered "the internet" and with the arrogance borne of privilege have decided they can simply get it to do their bidding. So we're seeing a lot of weird tortured phraseology in an effort to Game Google and manipulate what happens when somebody enters "Boris Johnson" into Google. (Which, let's face it, is a lot less unpleasant than imagining somebody entering Google into Boris Johnson).

So the irony is the more Google-friendly Boris gets, the less human friendly. Which would be a problem if he gave a shit about (other) humans.

Incidentally, there really is nothing new under the sun. If you read (or even better, hear Churchills finest oratory, you will be completely unaware of it's perfect construction from almost pure Anglo-Saxon words with hardly any later Norman French. It wasn't accidental - Churchill was a genius of the English language. It was a deliberate ploy to make the prose as universal across all of England as possible.

Boris trouble (although there's plenty of scope for choice) is like a lot of posh twats he went to University and didn't pay attention.

The problem with trying to write speeches that light up all the Googleboxes, is the Googleboxen are powered by what passes for "AI" these days. Which responds best to "AI" Grin. So you have speeches being written to please machines, not humans. With tiresomely predictable results.

Usernumbers1234 · 02/10/2019 15:49

@Dahlietta

Yes there was a story that the Labour Party activist who lived next door to him phoned the police because they heard an argument.

@Bellsofstclements just decided to make up something libellous because she’s a bit hard of thinking

Dahlietta · 02/10/2019 15:51

Haha, yes, I'd forgotten that Labour party connection.

ajandjjmum · 02/10/2019 16:03

Isn't it totally frightening that something can happen, it is misunderstood and then turned into fact. And some idiot will repeat it as such.

noblegiraffe · 02/10/2019 16:26

Remember when Johnson conspired to have a journalist beaten up? There’s a recording of that conversation.

SerendipityJane · 02/10/2019 16:34

Remember when Johnson conspired to have a journalist beaten up? There’s a recording of that conversation.

Just in case people want their memories jogged. I'll post the whole story here, just in case the BorisFest needs a little dampening down. The man is not only not nice, but his worries about getting people beaten up don't seem to come from a place of morality.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/darius-boris-and-a-blast-from-the-past-1658043.html

independent.co.uk
Darius, Boris and a blast from the past
BY Andy McSmith
17-21 minutes

Nearly 20 years have passed since two old Eton College chums had a long, tense telephone conversation about a plan one of them had concocted to have a man beaten up – unaware that someone was secretly recording them.

It has been known for years that the tape existed, and tantalising snippets have been leaked in the past, but now finally, a full transcript has come to light of that bizarre exchange between Boris Johnson and his friend Darius Guppy, who went to prison for masterminding a multimillion-pound fraud.

The Good Fairy must been present at Guppy's birth in 1964 to endow him with almost every quality a man could ask for, including wealth, good looks, ambition, intelligence and brilliant social connections. And the Bad Fairy must have been there too, to ruin the party by making him a psychopath.
We’ll tell you what’s true. You can form your own view.

From 15p €0.18 $0.18 USD 0.27 a day, more exclusives, analysis and extras.

Guppy achieved notoriety in 1993 when he was jailed for an insurance fraud committed several years earlier, which came close to being a perfect crime. He and an associate paid someone to tie them up and fake a robbery in New York, so that he could claim £1.8m in insurance. It was his revenge on Lloyd's, the insurance firm which had ruined his father during a notorious financial scandal in the late 1980s.

After being released from prison he had a bloody confrontation with Earl Spencer, the brother of Princess Diana, who he believed had tried to seduce his wife while he was locked away. The allegation, which Earl Spencer vehemently denied, brought an end to the close friendship between the two old Etonians.

But it was three years before in 1990 that Guppy found infamy with Mr Johnson who was then the Brussels correspondent at The Daily Telegraph. At the time Guppy was a frightened man after a News of the World reporter, Stuart Collier, started inquiring into his background and he feared his dubious activities were about to be exposed.

Guppy wanted Mr Collier stopped, frightened and physically assaulted – and had lined up a mysterious south London figure to arrange it. However, one crucial part of the plan remained elusive – Collier's private phone number and address.

His attempts to persuade Mr Johnson – a fellow journalist – to help get it has never been released in full until now. It was recorded by Peter Risdon, a business associate of Guppy, who distrusted him so much he started secretly monitoring and recording his calls. The full transcript illustrates the Teflon quality of the London Mayor, who is able to emerge smiling from scandals that might have destroyed another politician's career, partly because it is difficult to know when to take him seriously.

The tape is also fascinating for what it says about Guppy, who has now vanished from the public eye. Of the many things written about him, few are as damning as the words he uses to describe himself. "Boris, can I tell you something," he is heard saying. "My honest opinion about myself is that I am a potential psychopath. The reason I am not a psychopath is because I have..."

"A mother?" Johnson is heard interjecting. "No, I have discipline over my feelings and it's as simple as that," he replied. "But I am telling you something, Boris, this guy has got my blood up all right, and there is nothing which I won't do to get my revenge. It's as simple as that."

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The latest news on Brexit, politics and beyond direct to your inbox

Guppy says he needs Mr Johnson to help trace Mr Collier's address because he has been unsuccessful in his attempts to do so and one of the London heavies who was to inflict the beating was becoming impatient. "I have just had a telephone call from this bloke, okay," he told Mr Johnson. "And I swear to you it is now getting to the stage where I am beginning to look stupid because I have been promising them for the past three weeks, and I cannot afford to look stupid."

Mr Johnson tried to reassure him: "These people are there to do your bidding. Just tell them it happens. You know – the trail is too warm, something like that."

Minutes later, Mr Johnson revealed that his anxiety that the man from the News of the World might find out that he was involved. "He is extremely dangerous, extremely dangerous," he is heard saying. "If you fuck up in any way, I mean frankly if he suspects that I am involved in this ... forget about me. Honestly, Darius, you have really got to think whether it's worth your while."

Mr Johnson then revealed that he had approached four people to try to get Mr Collier's details, only two of whom he could fully trust. "If it got widely known that he'd been beaten up, it would inevitably get back to the contact I've used," he said.

To reassure him, Guppy said: "Okay, right, may I just tell you what my plan is. My plan is this, that even once you give it to me I will leave it for one month before I do anything. It will happen in one or two months' time. All right?"

"You promise me that?" Mr Johnson is heard to reply.

Later in the conversation, Guppy repeated: "The deal is basically you furnish me the information, and I will put it on ice for one month." Mr Johnson then anxiously inquires: "How badly are you going to hurt this guy?"

Guppy answers: "Not badly at all."

The conversation goes on. Mr Johnson: "If this guy is seriously hurt, I am going to be fucking furious." Guppy: "I guarantee you he will not be seriously hurt."

Mr Johnson: "How badly hurt will he be?" Guppy: "He will not have a broken limb or a broken arm and he will not, er, he will not be put into intensive care or anything like that. He will probably get a couple of black eyes and a, and a cracked rib or something like that."

Mr Johnson: "A cracked rib."

Guppy: "Nothing which you didn't suffer in rugby okay but he will get scared and that is what I want him to do, I want him to get scared, I want him to have no idea who is behind it okay, and I want him to realise that he's fucked someone off and whoever he's fucked off is not the sort of person he wants to mess around with.

"Because I guarantee you Boris, I guarantee you these people are, you know, if someone hurts their boss or threatens their boss I promise you it's just total sort of, it's like they're like dogs, they are like Alsatians or rottweilers, they love their masters, they are affectionate towards them, they are evil bastards to everyone else."

Mr Johnson: "Yeah, yeah, good. Okay Darry now, yeah, I mean I but." Guppy: "You must have faith in me Boris."

After holding onto the tape for years, Mr Risdon was finally persuaded to release it to be broadcast on last night's Dispatches programme for Channel 4 – the same programme that ran a damaging investigation into Ken Livingstone's political associates. But he does not believe that the tape shows London's Mayor as having been involved in anything criminal. "My own feeling is that Johnson was just going along with Guppy, humouring him, and had no intention of helping."

But John Biggs, deputy leader of the Labour Group in the London Assembly, said: "This was not some youthful misdemeanour but a revealing insight into the moral code of the man who now leads our police. It appears that Boris was more worried about getting found out than the harm that would have been inflicted on one of his journalist colleagues."

After his release from open prison, Guppy emigrated to South Africa. An investigation by a Sunday newspaper two years ago found him living in a mansion with a swimming pool but with no bank account or visible means of support. He returned to London briefly last year for his mother's funeral but since then nothing more has been heard of the man who claimed that it was only self-control that saved him from being a psychopath. Dispatches spent months trying to track him down but with no success. For a man whose famous aquaintances have brought him infamy he seems to have decided an anonymous life is now for the best.

Darius and Boris: The conversation

Boris: How badly are you going to hurt this guy?

Darius: Not badly at all.

Boris: I really I want to know because ...

Darius: OK let me explain to you.

Boris: If this guy is seriously, I am going to be fucking furious.

Darius: I guarantee you he will not be seriously hurt.

Boris: How badly hurt will he be?

Darius: He will not have a broken limb or a broken arm and he will not, er, he will not be put into intensive care or anything like that. He will probably get a couple of black eyes and a, and a cracked rib or something like that.

Boris: A cracked rib.

Darius: Nothing which you didn't suffer in rugby OK but he will get scared and that is what I want him to do, I want him to get scared, I want him to have no idea who is behind it OK and I want him to realise that he's fucked someone off and whoever he's fucked off is not the sort of person he wants to mess around with. Because I guarantee you Boris I guarantee you these people are you know, if someone hurts their boss or threatens their boss I promise you its just total sort of, it's like they're like dogs, they are like Alsatians or rottweilers they love their masters, they are affectionate towards them they are evil bastards to everyone else.

Boris: Yeah. Yeah, good. Ok Darry now, yeah, I mean I but.

Darius: You must have faith in me Boris.

Patroclus · 02/10/2019 17:19

Get Mary Beard on Twitter to see her tearing apart his ridiculous classical references.

Usernumbers1234 · 02/10/2019 17:21

Yeah. Not going to lose any sleep over someone arranging for a news of the world journalist to get a slap

Besides @Bellsofstclements was quite categorical in her statement that Boris has beaten up his partner and mumsnet is leaving that allegation up there. Good luck if the lawyers come sniffing around

Butchyrestingface · 02/10/2019 17:23

I like him

Oh, behave yourself. Hmm

SerendipityJane · 02/10/2019 17:24

Besides Bellsofstclements was quite categorical in her statement that Boris has beaten up his partner and mumsnet is leaving that allegation up there. Good luck if the lawyers come sniffing around

MNHQ can't do anything if it isn't reported, for a start. Also, it might be true.

noblegiraffe · 02/10/2019 17:25

“He will probably get a couple of black eyes and a, and a cracked rib or something like that.”

Not a ‘slap’, user. Nice minimising, are you Katie Hopkins?

Whatwouldbigfatfannydo · 02/10/2019 17:26

Oh yes, the poorest and most vulnerable are living in desolation and utter oppression but everything's good because the head of our shitshow parliament is funny.

Absolutely horrifying...

smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 02/10/2019 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SerendipityJane · 02/10/2019 17:29

Get Mary Beard on Twitter to see her tearing apart his ridiculous classical references.

Actually his classicism isn't too bad. He made a couple of cracking documentaries about the EU and Rome, and Islam for the BBC.

He'd have made a cracking TV historian and lecturer.

Tolleshunt · 02/10/2019 17:29

Yeah. Not going to lose any sleep over someone arranging for a news of the world journalist to get a slap

Shock

That this doesn’t trouble you - about our Prime Minister of all people - speaks absolute volumes.

What on earth has our country come to.

WispyTurnip · 02/10/2019 17:37

was quite categorical in her statement that Boris has beaten up his partner and mumsnet is leaving that allegation up there. Good luck if the lawyers come sniffing around

A decent lawyer for the prosecution might make something of a pattern of violence or abetting violence. That there was an altercation is a matter of record. There is a recording of what the neighbour heard through the wall, a 999 call was made, two police cars and a van arrived -- the neighbour was not fined or otherwise penalised for making a bogus call.

Butchyrestingface · 02/10/2019 17:41

was quite categorical in her statement that Boris has beaten up his partner and mumsnet is leaving that allegation up there. Good luck if the lawyers come sniffing around

I think he’s just got bigger fish to fry at the moment, frankly.

ajandjjmum · 02/10/2019 17:43

The neighbour was proven to by a Labour activist, and taped a row his neighbours were having. No-one would be penalised for making a call to the police, as they would always take the view 'better safe than sorry', but to use this as evidence that Boris was violent towards his gf is particularly stupid.

WispyTurnip · 02/10/2019 17:44

He'd have made a cracking TV historian and lecturer.

Only if you think facts don't matter in a historian. Mary Beard describes him as 'eloquent, evasive and inaccurate' after she did a charity Ancient Greek vs Ancient Rome debate with him. In fact, his pseudo-scholarship sounds remarkably similar to his politics.

Patroclus · 02/10/2019 17:46

then theres his 5/10 affairs whilst married, giving public funds to one of them (£100,000) and his forcing a mistress to have an abortion. No, sorry his classicism is now sub-undergraduate level. But he has messy hair and does the 'where am I thing' so lets let him run the fucking country.

Figmentofmyimagination · 02/10/2019 17:48

Is ‘gaming google’ the reason why he keeps shoehorning in all these bizarre references to his supposed hobby building buses out of wine boxes?

noblegiraffe · 02/10/2019 17:49

The neighbour was proven to by a Labour activist, and taped a row his neighbours were having.

What does his being a Labour activist have to do with the fact that there was crashing, screaming and shouting from BJ’s house?

It’s like people saying ‘oh but that guy’s a Labour activist’ when BJ was caught on camera lying ‘there’s no press here’ at a hospital where there was clearly press in attendance, invited by Boris.

You can’t dismiss these incidents by pointing out the presence of a Labour activist.

WispyTurnip · 02/10/2019 17:49

The neighbour was proven to by a Labour activist, and taped a row his neighbours were having. No-one would be penalised for making a call to the police, as they would always take the view 'better safe than sorry', but to use this as evidence that Boris was violent towards his gf is particularly stupid.

Being a Labour activist is hardly a crime, and, yes, people are penalised for making bogus 999 calls the police clearly thought that there had been a credible reason for the neighbour to make the call, and that it wasn't malicious, because he was gasp -- a supporter of a different political party.

And I have never claimed it 'proves' Boris Johnson was violent towards his girlfriend. It proves that a neighbour was alarmed enough for the welfare of Carrie Symonds to knock several times on their front door, and when no one answered, to record what they could hear and call 999, and that the police did not regard it as a malicious/prank call.

SerendipityJane · 02/10/2019 17:51

Is ‘gaming google’ the reason why he keeps shoehorning in all these bizarre references to his supposed hobby building buses out of wine boxes?

you've got it ! Grin