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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think unwell friend is a CF

100 replies

cowsoy · 29/09/2019 13:10

A friend of mine recently fell ill and was bedbound for a few days. During that time she asked me if I could take her DCs to school, get same basic groceries in, etc. I also offered to walk her dog as she was unable. Anyway, I just got back from walking her dog and she was up and about and feeling better. She began making me a cup of tea and starting getting really angry that I had put the dishes back in the wrong place, angrily putting plates back in the cupboard and muttering that it was really annoying that I had done that. I then said to her that I didn’t think it was that serious or anything to get worked up about and she kept angrily putting the dishes away, making a lot of noise in the process. No mention of a thank you for looking out for her. AIBU to think that was ungrateful of her?

OP posts:
Katex888 · 29/09/2019 13:12

Very ungrateful, you should have just walked out. You aren’t obliged to help her in any way but you did so out of kindness. Next time tell her to call some other mug who knows the inside out of her storage system.

HermioneKipper · 29/09/2019 13:13

Yup total cheeky cow. I’d have said passive aggressively “you’re welcome to all the help!” And walked out vowing to never help her again. (Although mightve been top chicken to do that in reality)

gamerchick · 29/09/2019 13:14

Please say you told her to ask someone else to help her in future and walked out?

ElspethFlashman · 29/09/2019 13:15

Well that's the last time I would do Jack shit for her.

Unpleasant woman.

Parsimon · 29/09/2019 13:16

Perhaps ungracious rather than ungrateful. If she is a friend, and someone who is usually likeable then perhaps she is grumpy as a result of her illness. I admit that I can be a bit precious about what goes where in the kitchen and her behaviour could be explained by a combination of irritability and the need for her to regain control over things now she is recovering.

catchyjem · 29/09/2019 13:16

Yes she was very rude, but perhaps still feeling very unwell? I'd give her a chance to apologise. Perhaps when she's fully well and thinks about it she will be mortified by her behaviour.

gamerchick · 29/09/2019 13:16

I was asked to look after a friend's baby overnight once and when he wasn't collected the next morning I took him round to her house. I had to knock for quite a long time and when I finally got in her bloke screamed at me for knocking them out of bed.

Guess what happened after that.....

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 29/09/2019 13:18

Sounds like she's carrying on like a goose.
However she has been sick so sometimes that can make you unreasonable and act like a prat and be easily irritated.
I'd just not offer her any more help but not hold it against her.

Butchyrestingface · 29/09/2019 13:20

Extremely unpleasant. But as the old Chinese saying goes...

你为什么讨厌我？我没有帮助你。

Original poster
cowsoy · 29/09/2019 13:20

Yes, I suppose she might have just been lashing out due to being ill so I guess I will give here the benefit of the doubt this time.

OP posts:
Elieza · 29/09/2019 13:24

She perhaps wasn’t quite herself due to being ill. Forgive her just this once. I’ve been there too but I didn’t say anything to the well meaning relative, just thanked them. Then it took all my energy after they left to put things to rights, which I wouldn’t have had to do had they left them alone as I had requested, but they tried to help me which is kind so they meant well and used their precious time to help me, which I appreciated, although I didn’t appreciate the extra work they inadvertently caused me and I wouldn’t say it to their face.

KUGA · 29/09/2019 13:25

I would never talk to her again sellfish using bastard.

CripsSandwiches · 29/09/2019 13:25

Yes she's an ungrateful cow. I wouldn't be rushing to help her next time.

Original poster
cowsoy · 29/09/2019 13:28

@Elieza to be fair it was just a few plates and cups, I didn't just take it upon myself to reorganise her kitchen or anything like that...

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 29/09/2019 13:28

Didn't you say anything? My friends and I would call each other out on that type of thing.

pictish · 29/09/2019 13:33

Rude AF. I wouldn’t be helping out any more and what’s more I’d let her know why.
“After you were so put out by me putting your dishes away in the wrong place, I’m not going risk annoying you by helping out again.”

StillCoughingandLaughing · 29/09/2019 13:34

Next time you go to her house, hide prawns at the back of her knicker drawer.

timshelthechoice · 29/09/2019 13:37

What pictish said.

Guavaf1sh · 29/09/2019 13:37

Why do you hate me? I never helped you

Google translate

AutumnRose1 · 29/09/2019 13:39

When she's better, I'd mention it

I had help from friends when ill and a few said "am I doing this wrong". I told them there's no right or wrong when you're helping me.

AutumnRose1 · 29/09/2019 13:40

pictish

OP said in her first post - she did say something.

Mythologies · 29/09/2019 13:43

Either:

  1. She is, indeed, very rude and ungrateful
  2. She is not in a very good place mentally or emotionally
Straycatstrut · 29/09/2019 13:44

Mammoth CF.

When I'm ill I have to do bloody everything with a dog and two young kids. If you did all that for me I'd be buying you wine/chocs and saying thank you too many times Grin

Leave her to it. She'll be back with another "favour" before the day is over probably. Tell her "Sorry, too busy now".

Beautiful3 · 29/09/2019 13:45

Yes she was very rude. I would expect an apology.

pictish · 29/09/2019 13:51

autumn

I know.

I’d say the thing I suggested as well.

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