To think not everyone wants to live a long time?

[jennymanara]

I am friends with someone who works in health education and we have talked about this. She thinks that anyone who is not very depressed wants to live a long time, and all they need is to know how to do this.

I think a lot of people actually do not want to live a long time. Even for many physically healthy people very old age can be a harsh time. Many people are very lonely, constant bereavements is an ordinary part of the territory, and seeing loved ones die from painful illnesses is tough.

Zafferana are your parents and aunt financially comfortable? If I was able to do all those things in my 70s I'd probably be looking forward to retirement, but in all likelihood I'll probably still be working and exhausted as a result.

They are, yes, evilharpy. 60 is very young though to be wishing for the grim reaper to pay you a visit. My dad worked until he was 70, my mum until she retired at 64 and both were still in good health then.

I have no children, not am I ever likely to and on the last six months my marriage has broken down and I've lost my job with no imminent prospect of a new one

I have found the first 40 years of my life miserable and the prospect of another 40 years with the prospect of declining physical health holds no appeal at all. When that starts to happen I'd rather take an overdose than live on.

The main problem is that if one lives to a great age, (say 100), then a good part of that life will be spent in retirement, and who pays for that?
Some professions have older workers (law, politics, actors, authors), but I cannot imagine a teacher at the age of 95, or a fireworker, etc

I think it various for many people.

One of my nanas is early 90s and she is fairly fit and able. She was driving until this year. She goes dancing every week. She has visitors every day. She is mobile and gets out and about. Her husband died well over a decade ago now, but she has gone on with family and friends and is enjoying life.

My other nana is the same age and is much more frail. Although surrounded by family she would be happy to not wake up in the mornings. My grandad died earlier this summer, same age, and he was also frail but had cancer too. Both of them were ready to go tbh - they talked about it. The only problem for my grandad in the end really though was that he was distressed to leave my nana - in their talks it was him they'd decided should survive longer. They'd been married for almost 70 years, together a bit longer. My nana is currently a shell of herself and tbh she doesn't want to be here any longer. Its really hard.

I plan on topping myself if I'm diagnosed with a condition that means I will lose my mental capacity. Partly because I have no faith that kind, caring support will be an available option in the future with the way things are going, but also wouldn't want to burden my siblings. I'd rather my money go to my nephews than having my arse wiped, as Workerbeee has so aptly summed it up!

Neither OH or myself will live to see a ripe old age because we both have serious health issues which will result in early death. We're both mid 50's and know neither of us will reach state retirement age.

That's fine, we can plan accordingly. Our immediate goal is to live long enough to see our son through his A levels and get him settled into University.

Last year, when OH was diagnosed with incurable cancer, the goal was to see him through his GCSEs and into sixth form.

If one or other of us lives long enough, it would be a bonus to see him graduate from Uni.

Anything further than that, we aren't thinking about or planning for.

Until then, we're doing the best we can to enjoy life whilst we can, including trying to fit a few "big" holidays in and generally enjoying simple pleasures like gardening.

It's actually quite a relief to know we don't have to think about funding retirement or bother with the worries of care home funding. Neither of us will get there. It has meant we can cut back on working as we only need to live for today, not work all hours to put away silly amounts of money to invest for our old age.

Some of those talking about much younger ages though - gosh, I hope Id want to survive longer than being 70/75y!

My parents are in the mid-late 60s, retired and enjoying life. Both active, healthy and able. They've just moved to a new home and ready to start a new adventure. They go on holiday around the world, etc. They love seeing their family, esp their grandchildren, and are full of life. I don't see them as old at all and certainly nowhere near ready to be thinking about the end!

My PILs are early-mid 70s. MIL is healthy and happy. FIL is very happy but ill with a serious illness. They're really not ready to go and are doing what they can to ensure FIL gets well again, to continue living their happy life with family and friends. They appear much older than my parents in some ways but again, nowhere near wanting life to come to its conclusion. At a family event this weekend they were both saying that int heir heads they don't see themselves as much different to half their lifetime ago.

In the UK the average life expectancy for males is 79.2y and for women 82.9y. This obviously takes into account some people dying at much younger ages from varying illnesses, incidents, etc. But I would feel that even low 80s is fairly young these days overall.

I don’t want to live a long time, not for as long as I can be useful to this close to me (or society in general, if I was a good practicing brain surgeon for example) and be self sufficient. I would hate to be a burden on anyone.
My mother has been scared of dying for as long as I can remember, it’s exhausting and unproductive. When I die, I die and that’s that. I don’t even want a big funeral with a full repertoire. My lasting words would be ‘get on with your life and forget about me, I’m gone, it’s done, fuck off and live your own lives the best you can’

"I've never really wanted to live past 60"

I always swore I'd be dead by 40. I'm 34 and I'd still be happy for that to happen.

I know a few people really not enjoying life in their 90s. I want to live to a good age and be healthy but I don't aspire to get to my 90s or 100.mm

This is a fascinating and oddly reassuring thread. I’ve always said for me, quality is far more important than quantity of life. I’ll be happy to make it (healthily and independently) to 80, but beyond that the probability is that I’d be dependent upon health care and a bottle of daily pills to maintain me. I don’t want that.

My mother, grandmother and great grandmother lived to an average of 90.5 years. So there’s a good chance I will too. I’m not worried by that.

I'd hate to live longer than I can have a quality of life. My MiL is 89 and can hardly walk, has arthritis in her hands and has dementia. I would hate to be in her position.