Hello. I’m a long time lurker and have never had kids of my own, so feel a bit guilty for being here as not actually a parent. Had a “non=viable”;pregnancy once. My partner has three adult children. I get on well with two of them. The third, an adult son, has caused us various problems over the years with his alcoholism and drug abuse.
My partner and his ex wife have done a lot of enabling over the years, in giving him money when he’d just spent his dole money on beer and marijuana. He has come to stay with us occasionally when he’s been homeless, tho in some cases the homelessness has been voluntary. He has had drunken psychotic episodes, shouting and screaming
Fast forward several years of this, about five years ago son was having a spectacularly bad ‘episode’ He sent abusive text messages basically calling me a slut, and sending veiled death threats.
Now, five years later, he has sent partner a letter which in some way shows some insight into his bi polar disorder. So partner is saying that maybe son could come and visit?
It was hell when he was here. From what my partner has said I think he’s an ‘Incel’ = one of these angry young men who thin that they should have sex on demand. The way he looks at me makes my flight esh crawl and I’m in my 50s.
When there is a rape or sexual assault in hi city, I always read the description. He has physically assaulted both of his sisters, and his birth mother, and sent previous step mom a death threat,
So my AIBU is can i just say “No. I do not want this sociopath to visit. He’s called me a slut and threatened to kill me and has a history of violence against women”
Which is what I’ve basically said to OH, But OH is saying that maybe he’s changed.