Okay, about teachers...

[KitKat1985]

Okay I'm being brave here. I know a few people who happen to be teachers. Whenever they talk about their jobs, there's a real 'no other profession has to work as hard as us' vibe to their speech. I am fully aware and in agreement that it's a stressful job with long hours and ridiculous amount of pressure if you don't count the long holidays but it's hardly the only profession that has these issues. I myself am a nurse, and 14 hour shifts on an under-staffed ward with no breaks and several severely ill / abusive patient to look after are hardly a picnic either. But whenever I discuss work with teacher friends there's a definite 'if you want to talk about stress you should try being a teacher' element to the conversation, and it's starting to really get on my nerves. Lots of jobs are stressful, teaching isn't the only one! And it's only teachers I know that seem to have this general attitude about their profession. AIBU? Is it really more stressful than any other profession out there?

@Piggywaspushed

Sorry for my last 2 posts.

The last time I went for a job I didn’t get it and it massively knocked my confidence. I do enough prep but even so it was pretty embarrassing for me as everyone knew. I guess the same for you but compounded as you don’t want to be at the place you are at.

This isn’t a facetious post . Genuinely I’d not want anyone to personally feel about themselves.

Some of the teachers I’ve met are so lovely and one in particular I think about emailing even though she retired about 4 years ago just to give her an update on my child she worked so hard for but I think she might think that’s weird.

Honestly piggy I’m very sorry for my bitchy comment x 💐

Accepted. Thank you.

And DorsetDays Lola has eloquently explained that as a friend if another friend - in a different profession - was moaning about their job I, as their friend, would empathise and not seek to go into one-up man ship. If my friend was continually moaning about their job and the stresses it brought, I would gently open a conversation with them about what other options may be available especially if I was an HR expert

What I wouldn't do is extrapolate that or those incidents to suggest that an entire workforce sees itself hard done by.

As an aside, if many of my friends were frequently upset about their work place environments and constantly talking about them I'd probably reflect as to whether I had been acting as a good friend to date.

Myrtle. And that’s exactly the point. This thread was started because the OPs teacher friends were completely unsupportive when she suggested she was feeling stressed. Instead of being empathetic as you suggest, they simply said she should try being a teacher.

Or did you miss that?

The OP's experience has been pretty much backed up by some of the responses on this thread.

Lind. I understand that but maybe just accept that I have a different experience to you? My dsis doesn’t work long hours, I know that for a fact. It’s also fact that other teachers I know don’t either.

There have been teachers on here confirming they don’t work anything like the hours being suggested. Do you not believe them either?

myrtleWilson
It's exactly that.

It wouldn't cross my mind to decide that because my friends had negative experiences that their "vibe" was that they work harder than everyone.
It also wouldn't cross my mind to start what is essentially a very goady thread saying "ooh I'm being brave here but why do (insert job here) do..."

But we're now at the point where having had the inevitable generalisations throughout the thread from a range of posters, the claim is "oh but the OP was just saying their experience", whilst conveniently ignoring the pages and pages of nonsense from subsequent posters that people have been responding to and challenging.

It's not rocket science:
If your friends are having a shit time, talk to them and help them through
If you think your friends are making up how difficult their job is, tell your friends it can't be that bad and they should stop thinking their job is worse than anyone else's.

Anything else is stirring the pot and hoping that others will jump on the bandwagon (which surprise surprise they have like any other thread where someone feels the need to 'just say...' about teachers).

The OP went on to say "it is only teachers (I know) who have this attitude" - so whilst the OPs friend's weren't particularly nice or supportive (re my post) the OP decided to extrapolate this out, and started a thread about teachers over exaggerating their stress levels or not acknowledging others stresses.

Many, many teachers on this thread have pointed out that whilst they do think their jobs are stressful (and have explained why) they do not claim to be the 'most stressful' and have cited other public service professionals to have similar stressful experiences.

Others on the thread have sought to find holes in their (the teachers) firsthand experiences and regularly cited their own personal experience of relatives or friends (but haven't, on the thread [and why should they] reflected upon whether in those circumstances they were as supportive to their stressed friend or relative as possible - just as OPs friends weren't to her)

So in terms of taking anecdotal evidence to extrapolate to a whole profession this thread has done that - to the detriment of teachers.

Or did you miss that?

Lola. So if that’s the case, nobody’s allowed to start an AIBU about anything that could be discussed in RL? Unless you work for MN I’m not sure that’s your call to make...

And you keep missing the point that what you’re suggesting should have happened is exactly why the OP started the thread.

There have been teachers on here confirming they don’t work anything like the hours being suggested. Do you not believe them either?
Seriously? This again.
Sigh.
Different schools have different cultures and different pressures.
I used to work ridiculous hours and nearly left the profession.
I now have a really reasonable work life balance.

What I don't do is decide that because my hours and pressures are one thing, that others in other schools must be lacking organisation, manage their work poorly, need to prioritise.

The idea that because some staff don't have excessive hours somehow negates a widespread problems is exactly the sort of silly comment that makes this thread hilarious.

If your friends are having a shit time, talk to them and help them through

She tried but they wouldn’t go past their own experiences and shut her down by saying you should try being a teacher, they haven’t said they were stressed they just shut her down as they believe their job is more stressful that hers.

Myrtle. You’re right, the OP said “it’s only teachers I know that seem to do this”.

That’s the key bit isn’t it? The OP is saying that’s her experience, based on people she knows.

@Dorset I was a teacher for 30 years. Surely my experience is more relevant than yours? I know hundreds of teachers, so many more than your tiny sample, and not all of those teachers work very long hours. It doesn't mean their jobs aren't hard and it doesn't mean they aren't finding their jobs stressful. Show a bit of empathy for heaven's sake.

The parents response (and I quote) “ I think you had better go check you have your facts straight. I don’t think he’d do that”

Then I come on here to posters saying “just because we’re not teachers it doesn’t mean we don’t know what it’s like being a teacher”

I’m recently had to get police involvement after a father became physically and verbally abusive towards me, followed me and then attacked my vehicle (changed some details, as going to court)

You don’t need to be a teacher to understand this, I’m not a teacher and I can related to this, a minority is not a majority.

Lola. Yet again, misinterpreting what’s been said 🙄. That post was in response to Lind saying that just because someone says they don’t work long hours, doesn’t mean that’s true.

My comment stands, if teachers have posted on here that they don’t work long hours do you not believe them because it’s not your experience?

@Dorset I was talking about stress, not hours worked. They are not necessarily related.

If we are going to unpick OP, this is what she said

there's a definite 'if you want to talk about stress you should try being a teacher' element to the conversation,

What is an 'element'? Does she actually mean it is implicit? Do they answer with empathy, by saying 'oh, I know how you feel. My job is so stressful, too.'

Imagine if those teachers came on saying'all the nurses I know are the only people who have a general attitude that their profession is tough.' Based entirely on their conversations with OP. But they haven't . Because it doesn't seem to have wound them up.

Lind. How is your experience relevant to my own personal experience? You don’t know me, you don’t know the people I’m talking about yet your ‘experience’ means you’re right 🤦‍♀️

I’m saying I know teachers who don’t work long hours. How does you teaching for 30 years change that fact?

How about the OPs teacher friends showing her some empathy? Funny that nobody suggested that...

Lind. Then read my comments property because I wasn’t talking about stress on that post, just long hours. Yet you decided to try and correct me and tell me I’m wrong.

The thing is @HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend that a lot of teachers are currently having to put up with violence and threats, with no police involvement, just constant suggestions from management about what they should be doing differently. It is a massive issue, not in all schools but in far too many.

Dorsetdays

And yet in teaching it just seems to be a culture of teachers all saying 'no-one else works as hard as us

From the OP - so extrapolating from anecdotal to profession -wide

It doesn't mean their jobs aren't hard and it doesn't mean they aren't finding their jobs stressful. Show a bit of empathy for heaven's sake.

To ALL professions, I’ve said at the very beginning of when I started posting, it’s individual experiences, irregardless if your a teacher or a postman, some cope, some don’t, some leave, some stay.

You can’t shoot someone down for speaking about their own experiences, I don’t believe anyone has made wide sweeping generalisations, they have spoken about their own experiences.

Yet some on here have been passive aggressive, personally attacked individuals for speaking about their own circumstances, their own careers, they own conclusions etc... yet get attacked for doing so

Piggy. Or maybe they haven’t come on to post that because most of the nurses they know don’t actually moan much...

I mean, I know it doesn’t fit your argument but it’s as much of a possibility as your conjecture.

I have just suggested they did. If a teacher listed the stresses of their job, as she did of her own in her OP, they'd be told they were anecdotal, extrapolating, moaning, or even lying.

dorset , I am not sure how many times you need to be told that long hours do not solely equal stress. Plenty of us have said the hours are not the chief factor. It was OP who introduced hours to the conversation.

Haud. Yes, silly you to complain about being subjected to violence, because of course, teachers are too...and much worse as they don’t have any police involvement.

No empathy there that I can see.

Funny that.