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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask for the slatterns of MN to come forward?

321 replies

MarianaMoatedGrange · 28/09/2019 11:05

Inspired by another thread. I am a self confessed slattern. Would rather read a book or browse MN than clean to a rota. I wash dishes, do laundry and am clean in person, but happily coexist with cobwebs until they get quite bad (adds to the Victorian Gothic of my home is my reasoning).

I will have a cleaning frenzy every couple of weeks or so then subside back into lassitude, draped becomingly on my sofa with a book or phone (aka slobbing out in leisure wear or PJs with chocolate to hand).

DC grown into adulthood with various views on cleaning. Oh, I lived briefly with one man when young, then never again so it was and is entirely up to me how I lived. DC taught how to clean/tidy/cook, which they did age appropriately. One enjoys cleaning.

Levels of squalor never enough to incite interest from authorities - just vaguely smug looks from my cleaner, tidier friends Grin

So, any more of you rota free, as-and-when sisters out there?

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MaudBaileysGreenTurban · 28/09/2019 14:04

It's comfortable and lived-in, but also kind of sticky looking

Haha, this, absolutely Grin

Iflyaway · 28/09/2019 14:07

Totally agree OP.

I take a shower daily, and have a small appartment so can be on top of it.

My sister also lives in an apartment. "Why have a huge house? Just more cleaning to do!" So true.

Like the Buddhist Lama said ~ "No-one will be lying on their death bed wishing they'd kept a cleaner house" (or spent more time in the office).

LakieLady · 28/09/2019 14:10

I once found my ladle in a former sofa!

But, @MarianaMoatedGrange, was the ladle clean or dirty? Your public have the right to know!

When we had mice, I heard a noise in the night and when I put the bedside light on, I spotted a mouse nibbling at a biscuit that had fallen down between the bedside cabinet and the wall.

Even I was mildly horrified by that.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 28/09/2019 14:15

LakieLady it was clean!. Couldn't account for it at all. I've always been sexually adventurous but cannot recall any sessions involving the larger culinary items.

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lazylinguist · 28/09/2019 14:17

I'm a slattern by nature but a clean minimalist by aspiration. I love love love a clean and immaculately tidy house, but am far too lazy and disorganised to ever really achieve it!

theoriginaltms · 28/09/2019 14:20

Omg this is me 😂 every morning I say the same thing I'll blitz the whole house today it never gets done I get too engrossed in MN or catching up on my soaps. So your not the only one

Flightsoffancy · 28/09/2019 14:22

Another vote here for the Eufy, it's, sorry, he's brilliant, and like one of the family (only better at cleaning). We called ours Grumio after the slave in the Cambridge Latin Course (that ages us!) Grin

longtimelurkerhelen · 28/09/2019 14:25

Can't see the point in dusting, it just goes elsewhere then resettles. I now just hoover the dust up Grin

Seeingadistance · 28/09/2019 14:31

My people!

Happy to report in from a house which is not only untidy but also pretty grubby.

Rainbowknickers · 28/09/2019 14:35

I lived in my old house for 8 years
4 years in I cleaned under the cooker,washer,fridge and table
Didn’t bother after that til we moved...

KarmaStar · 28/09/2019 14:35

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷LOVE this thread!everyone is happy with who they are and what their homes are......I'm envious!!!would like to not Hoover daily but terrified my mum would pop in.oh dear,before I could blink the whole family would know that karmas had a breakdown,she's not hoovered you know!😂..
Nobody will ever take a sweet from me,they know very well they will be in the bottom of my coat pocket with dog biscuits,bits of string,a dog collar,conkers....
But must stop worrying what other people(mum)thinks...

LakieLady · 28/09/2019 14:41

the car can be used to store an incredible volume of detritus and shopping simply by making use of those oft overlooked spaces, the foot wells

Car sluttery almost deserves a thread of its own imo. Grin

Until recently, I worked out in the community. My car was my office, staff room and everything else. I almost always ate my lunch in my car.

The passenger footwell was the bin. It was full of sandwich, chocolate and crisp packets, drink bottles and takeaway coffee cups, post-it notes and scraps of paper with notes on that had once been important (sometimes also used as wrapping for chewed gum).

The net thingies on the back of the front seats were my desk drawers. They contained essential items like spare housing benefit and housing register forms, stapler, the welfare rights handbook, PIP/ESA descriptors, compliment slips, envelopes etc.

The back seat was my staff cloakroom. It had things like a waterproof coat (in case of sudden showers), umbrella (ditto), wellington boots (much of my patch was rural, and you never know what you might need to walk through in a rural area), a box of tissues, hand gel and anti-bac wipes (I was often required to visit homes where hygiene was way below even my low standards) and a spare pair of trousers, knickers and a spare top (put in the car after I had been comprehensively puked on by a client's child and had to drive 8 miles home, covered in vom).

The door pockets held not only the usual chargers, squeegee thingy and de-icer, but a universal meter cupboard key (clients never have them, any issue with a utility company always involves giving a meter reading), a metal tape measure (essential when supporting resettlement clients to order curtains etc) and a first aid kit (amazingly, never used in 12 years).

The state of my car used to drive DP demented. I never told him about the time an escaped apple quietly started to rot and I didn't notice until I opened the car door one morning and was engulfed by a cloud of fruit flies. Thankfully, it was on a loose mat that could just be scrubbed clean.

Shoutymomma · 28/09/2019 14:41

I’M HERE!!

I do love a list. Howev, my lists don’t say, for example, ‘laundry’ they say:

collect washing
put wash on
hang out
take in
fold
put away

meaning 6 lovely ticks for me, although it may take a week to get the lot. Am also thinking of getting rid of drawers/wardrobes as dining table seems to serve this purpose.

vickkiMommy · 28/09/2019 14:41

Hello my people xxx
I keep my floors clear (not counting dd's countless toys) I do my dishes/kitchen in the evening when dd runs out of clean bottles but otherwise I would much rather spend my time rolling around the floor with the baby than doing anything close to housework xxx children grow too quickly too be fussed about tidyness xxx my dining table was buried long ago under dumping ground no 2 wash mountain covers the couch (it's clean why put it away when it will be worn soon) and don't even get me started on dumping ground no 1(my bedroom) I can get to my bed and possibly the wardrobe (not often needed) xxx I have always disliked these "showhome" people who make you feel small just because your priorities are enjoying your child instead of "keeping house" xxx the organising can wait until mid Dec (roughly when I'm next expecting company) I have a child to play with xxx

MarianaMoatedGrange · 28/09/2019 14:43

KarmaStar tell your mum you're not using leccy unecessarily, to both save money AND the planet. Also - discourage people from 'popping in'.

Hoovering daily would make my soul cry.

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Shoutymomma · 28/09/2019 14:43

Car sluttery: I once reached into a door pocket of a friend’s car and withdrew my hand to find it attached in multiple places to a bag of fishing hooks. 😂

madcatladyforever · 28/09/2019 14:44

No. If my home is a mess I can't think straight. Would you want your medical professional looking after you knowing they live in a filthy shit hole and have no idea about hygiene?

LakieLady · 28/09/2019 14:46

Nobody will ever take a sweet from me,they know very well they will be in the bottom of my coat pocket with dog biscuits,bits of string,a dog collar,conkers....

I wouldn't mind @KarmaStar!

I always have a couple of dog biscuits in my handbag. The bag has magnetic catches. My clever dog flips it open with her nose and goes straight to the iside pocket where the biscuits to help herself.

I think it's really cute and clever, so I don't stop her. Grin

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 28/09/2019 14:47

Me! I try and clean the kitchen on Friday because my sons maths tutor visits but aside from that I generally can't be arsed. I have many cobwebs but since I don't mind spidersI have no urge to remove them. Honestly I just can't find any motivation to clean, I can barely get tidy during the day let alone anything else!

MerryDeath · 28/09/2019 14:51

@Shoutymomma superb list making skills i am in admiration of your logic

MaudBaileysGreenTurban · 28/09/2019 14:52

madcatlady, I'm pretty sure none of us live in 'filthy shit holes', we just don't hoover every day Hmm

Anyway, as a fellow community car slattern Lakie I fully understand the 'car as office' issue. Once dp started using the car too and sprinkling Gregg's crumbs liberally across it on a daily basis, I gave up and bought a new one (car not dp) Grin

MarianaMoatedGrange · 28/09/2019 14:53

I've never owned a vehicle but loving the car sluttery posts!

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minipie · 28/09/2019 14:53

This is me. Luckily we can afford a cleaner otherwise the house would be grim. Actually it wouldn’t as DH is a neat freak and would do it at the weekends while rolling his eyes at me.

I get a strange satisfaction out of the really mucky jobs (like cleaning out the shower drain or wiping gunge off the washing machine seal) but hoovering and mopping ... nah.

For some reason though I really dislike grubby cars so no eating of messy snacks is allowed in the car, I take off the kids’ muddy shoes etc. No idea why, something to do with it being a very small space maybe?

Seeingadistance · 28/09/2019 14:56

Car sluttery from my childhood.

I grew up on a farm and my mother shared the school run with a couple of other families. One morning my classmate had to put her bag in the car boot. On the way to school she casually asked my mother if she knew there was a dead sheep in the boot!

That particular classmate lived in a house which was a most splendid example of Slatterine, so a dead sheep in the car was in no way surprising to her!

MarianaMoatedGrange · 28/09/2019 14:58

MaudBaileysGreenTurban agreed. The Slatterines don't have shitholes, just lived in homes!

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