To be wary of making any further payments?

[Abcdefgfedcba]

I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

She said she is away.
So when she next asks for money just reply as per text you agreed to provide statement.
Will pay when I have the info, and have had time to check it.

Re my previous post unless you had a written contract with her, detailing how much you borrowed and the time and amount you had to repay ( just written down and signed) you do not owe her anything and any debt with Very is hers as the contract was between her and them

Nonsense - a verbal agreement is as enforceable as a written agreement, just more difficult to evidence. Though I would have though deliveries to OP's address on childminder's account would be pretty compelling evidence (unless OP claims they were all gifts)

Hi OP, it is a rather difficult situation. I have an impression your friend is trying to get you over the threshold of October to have the basis to claim you owe huge interest. I would make an extra payment right now - of say, 60-100£, just to feel safer in hope that it all covers the sum of 1400£. Even if you overpay and lose some £ - you’ll have a better standing if you can clearly demonstrate that your payments have been completed on time and no interest could be ascribed to you.
As for others and their payments you are not responsible for them.

Nonsense - a verbal agreement is as enforceable as a written agreement, just more difficult to evidence. Though I would have though deliveries to OP's address on childminder's account would be pretty compelling evidence (unless OP claims they were all gifts

Not nonsense. Friend split from boyfriend he left loads of loans that he benefited from car etc but although he verbally told her he would pay as they were only in her name (she had better credit history..I know) the companies only pursued her!! She saw solicitor and told as nothing in writing and even though he driving car around ( he said a gift) she liable! So yes whilst it may be possible to prove verbal it is extremely difficult in practice.

Aridane that is not true at all. A 'verbal' agreement is 'not worth the paper it is written on' as the saying goes. A verbal agreement is not actionable at all. No contract, no evidence, no proof, no agreement = unenforceable. Basic high school Legal Studies 101.

Of course it’s actions- the challenge is evidencing the verbal agreement!!

Actionable, not actions!

Of course it is not actionable. Because there is no evidence of any agreement. Because it is verbal, hence NO EVIDENCE.

Make sure you spell it out crystal clear that you won’t be making any more payments until she has provided you with statements detailing exactly what you still owe. She has a month now to sort it out, but you must tell her you won’t be paying anything else without proof or your outstanding debts.

Please don't borrow for this Christmas. Small gifts for your children only. Save up for next Christmas ..

“Because there is no evidence of any agreement. Because it is verbal, hence NO EVIDENCE.”

Well there’s the documentation of delivery to the OP’s house and, by the sounds of it, quite a lot of texts back and forth in which the payments and the obligation to pay are discussed and and accepted by the OP along with bank transactions of the OP making partial (possibly full) payment. From what the OP has said on this thread there is quite a lot of evidence of the verbal agreement.

Not nonsense. Friend split from boyfriend he left loads of loans that he benefited from car etc but although he verbally told her he would pay as they were only in her name (she had better credit history..I knowshock) the companies only pursued her!! She saw solicitor and told as nothing in writing and even though he driving car around ( he said a gift) she liable! So yes whilst it may be possible to prove verbal it is extremely difficult in practice.

Yes, the companies pursued her because their contract was with her, not the boyfriend.

It's then up to her to pursue the debt with the boyfriend, because his contract is with her and not the companies. She could this do by taking him to court. She would need to provide evidence that an agreement was in place and this is obviously harder without a written contract but often not impossible.

In OP's case there are a number of deliveries to her address, regular payments from OP to friend over a long period and lots of texts and emails asking for clarification on how much she still owes. That's all strong evidence that there was an agreement in place, even without a written contract.

So if OP still owes money and doesn't pay then friend could take her to court. To go to court, the first thing friend would have to do is provide OP with exactly the information she has been repeatedly asking for. So it's a non-issue.

This is the most 1980’s problem I have come across on MN. And I’ve watched enough Judge Rinder to know that without a written agreement of the debt, it’s end date, interest rate and final amount, she has jack all and he’d make her pay all of it.

However as stated above, your communication to her has provided enough evidence to suggest an informal agreement. You could email her now saying you have submitted your final payment, pleased to have done business with her, good bye and hold riddance and unless she has indicated in writing how much to expect back from you, she has no legal stand at all. Did she say face to face it was £2k you still owed or is that written down in, even in electronic communication? That could be her only come back.

Tbh you’ve both done a crazy thing here, you know it so I won’t go on, but basically without a formal or informal written agreement you were not legally obligated to pay her anything at all.

I think @Flamingle18 might be right: the "friend" has spaffed some of the money that should have gone to Very, and has realised that there will be a big interest bill - especially if she's done the same with lots of people.

This part is really worrying though:

*...shouted at in a playground full of children, in front of my own children, or have her husband turning to to my house.

I feel stressed enough from the daily text messages. She knows when I get my wage so the messages start around a day before and are constant until I transfer the money. If its not sent first thing on payday I then receive texts hourly asking me to transfer it.*

This is intimidating behaviour. Harrassing the OP in this way is appalling and I'd explain to friend and her husbans, in no uncertain terms, that I'd be calling the police if it doesn't stop. And I'd do it, as well.

OP, if you were a vulnerable person (and your depression may well make you vulnerable) this would be financial abuse. I've raised a safeguarding for less in the past.

Once you've heard back from her about any other items you bought that weren't in your original list, you should be able to work out where you stand financially. Post on here if you have trouble working out the figures, and I'm sure someone will help! You're clearly motivated to get the money paid off before the interest kicks in, which is great.

Please, don't let this woman and her husband frighten and bully you. Be prepared to call the police if it carries on, and just keep repeating that you will pay her if, and only if, she can demonstrate that what you have paid does not cover what you ordered.

If your so-called friend has made a cock-up and not paid over all the money as she should, that's her look out. She, and she alone, is responsible for clearing the debt with Very.

I find it difficult to believe you spent over £1000 on a catalogue. I suspect you've paid it back already. Ring the company as they will have details of what has been sent to your address and the total value. If you agreed to the 12 months interest free then she should not be hounding you for money as she would've worked out the amount divided by twelve when you ordered. I would ask for a detailed list of all your items from her before paying another penny.

I still think you should go to CAB because once in October you may well be hit with a huge interest bill as the year is up.

If the goods were to your address Very will have a record so contact them and explain to them and see if they can help. She needed your money for her holiday. Tell her you will try and get the info direct from very because they should have a delivery note and see if that Spurs her on to sort quicker - make out it will save her the hassle while she's away.

Very will not disclose the info because the account was not in OP's name and they are bound by GDPR.

Unless the goods arrived with OP's name on as well as her address. In that case OP could do a subject access request and ask for all the info they have relating to her.

But it's not OP's responsibility to get this info. The onus is on the friend to show what is owed if she wants paying.

OP please try to not borrow for Christmas this year, it really is not worth getting into debt for one day. Your children will be more happier with a couple of small cheaper presents you can afford than, than a mum being threatened and intimidated. Good luck, make sure you get the statements before you next pay.

Phone up the company involved and explain you have had orders delivered to your place on your friend's account. Give them your address and ask them if they have a record of what was delivered. You can then work out what you received and the date (to be able to check if its in the twelve month period).

Due to the privacy regs they probably won't give you any account info (fair enough) but they should be able to tell you what you received.

then you can work out the costings. If the friendship deteriorates, ask if you can jointly contact the company and have a new account put into your name and your debt transferred over to it and off her account. They may or not do it, but if she is in strife, I think any idea is better than none.

Failing that, get yourself off to a budgeting service pronto. You sound like you are in a huge pickle regardless.

I suspect the catalog company wouldn’t be happy to learn that the friend has been letting others order of her account though.

I’d just leave it. The OP is in a strong position.

It would be a terrible idea to get the debt officially transferred into the OP's name! That would make the situation so much worse.

Besides there might not be any debt, or not much. OP has made loads of repayments.

@Abcdefgfedcba I have awesome spreadsheet skills (I suspect others on this thread do too) and will be very happy to help make sense of everything once you have some numbers after this 2 week holiday (if she doesn't think of another excuse). Meanwhile there's nothing else that can be done during these 2 weeks so best not fret about it.

You let her use your bank card?! Have you checked how much she spent?

Would Very care if they get their money (pref with interest!)?

It can't be that unusual for more than one person to use the same account.

Although obviously if you can't get an account because your credit is bad, best not go on someone elses!

I think it's hard tell if the friend genuinely thought that she was doing a favour or not.