Do I change my ds schools?

[Namechangewho]

Name change as on previous post I didn’t reveal age or gender as was quite an unusual situation which could’ve been outed.
Ds (year 9) has been in school just under 4 weeks and has somehow managed to accumulate 20! (Yes, you read that correctly) detentions which is just unacceptable and has left me wondering whether his school is right for him and if a fresh start may be necessary.

Sometimes, he does multiple things at once. No contact with SENCO. I think it’s pretty much all teachers. He seems to be better in top set lessons as nobody engages with him so it minimises the conversations. No issues that I’m aware of like short-term memory but he’s never been tested. He wears glasses so his sight can’t be bothering him and his hearing seems fine

His detentions are at lunch so I dont see why he’d want them

Sorry, I forgot to add that regarding short term memory, he can’t follow more than 2 or 3 at one time as he will forget what you’ve said. For him to remember, it has to be said multiple times.

What are his motor skills like?
Is he fussy with food or clothes textures?

Very fussy with food, not so much with clothing textures. Is good with a football but not so good at catching although, he is alright.sometimes I witness him trying to grasp the buttons on his school shirt. I think they are okay though. Not really sure what activities would come under motor skills to be honest

Why haven't you approached the school?!? I would've spoken after about 3 detentions.
You need to make him do the homework downstairs, in the family area and ensure that he's completing what is supposed to be done in his homework diary.
Tbh, a lot of what the issues seem to be are easily solved as long as you put a bit of effort into helping him.

Gross motor skills: throwing, catching, cycling, swimming
Fine motor skills: handwriting, tying laces, buttons
Proprioception: walking through doorways without bumping, judging gaps, able to walk backwards toe-heel in a line without looking, basically knowing where your body is (I think)

(Extra sensitivity to taste or texture is often comorbid with dyspraxia.)

I don't think you'll have to make that decision. After 20 detentions, I'd expect that the school would make that decision for you.

dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/dyspraxia-children/teenage-years/

NB I am not saying your DS has dyspraxia. But I think you should definitely look into it and similar conditions and get it ruled in/out.

www.dyslexia.com/about-dyslexia/signs-of-dyslexia/test-for-dyslexia-37-signs/

School haven’t mentioned anything about moving schools. Handwriting isn’t that neat and he has always held a pen strange (lateral quadrupod I think it’s called). His gross motor skills I think are fine and within normal range. His fine motor skills aren’t great but not awful. He can tie his laces ect. His balance is rubbish and he can hardly walk in a straight line.

I'd definitely look into dyspraxia then.

Do some massive scaffolding on organisation for a couple of weeks, see whether it reduces issues. Maybe look at the checklists people have linked with your DS. He might be struggling with more than you/he realises.

Can I request assessments for multiple things a sit seems symptoms overlap

An assessment looks at different components of iq , processing and skills, to form a pattern, it is not limited to identifying any particular one. Different conditions may share traits (think of the olympic rings overlapping). Make a list of dc various areas of difficulty, ideally with an example, speak to SENCO and/or gp and see how best to progress.

Write down a list of the things he struggles with (so including handwriting, remembering instructions etc). Give it to the SENCO.

Ask the SENCO to do their screening tests for working memory etc.

If the screening tests show stuff up, ask how to proceed. We went to doctor and asked for assessment and got referred to OT. Dyslexia would probably be done a different way not via OT.

In all letters to school, say that you accept current school issues may be just poor behaviour but you do have concerns so want things ruled in/out.

My letter would go something like

Dear School
I am concerned at the level of detentions DS is receiving this term.
I have been taking some advice on how to handle DS, and it has been suggested to me that it might not just be poor attitude but could be due to some from of SpLD such as dyspraxia/dyslexia.
Thinking about this further, DS does seem to struggle in some areas more than I might expect for a boy of his age. e.g.

• remembering instructions
• focus
• …

Would it be possible please for the SENCO to do working memory and other processing tests on DS so we can rule in/out any issues?

In parallel to this, I am going to support his organisation more at home to try to ensure he has everything he needs each day, as I am as anxious as you are to help him back on track.
Kind regards

That seems good thanks.

Also , what do I do if they don’t take my email seriously and just dismiss it.

Then you fight
The same as all the other parents who’s children have issues

Speak louder ring more keep nagging

Namechangewho

"Also , what do I do if they don’t take my email seriously and just dismiss it."

Then you contact again and say the same thing but add something like "My son is a bright boy and I really want him to achieve the maximum results he can" schools love all this "I know detentions are an attempt to change his behaviour and I do support that, to a point, but I want to see if there is any underlying issues and help my son to succeed.

Please join forces and support me in this.

I'll call later today to speak to HOY (or whomever).

I greatly appreciate your assistance with this."

Be persistent but pleasant (at first).

They want parents to engage.

Also if/when you get a diagnosis things will be put in place and your soon will get the help he needs

Can you tell I’ve been there?

Applying behaviour policy is not less work than doing some screening tests.
But individual teachers react to what's in front of them. They don't generally have time / knowledge to hunt for underlying issues.

OP - one step at a time. Support organisation and contact school. See what happens.

As PP have said polite persistent - also talk to the subject teachers at parents evening - one of my kids subject teachers was one who finally got some screening done by the SENCO - everyone else got them on a list for testing but then nothing was happening.

They also may have noticed other problems you can then add to get looked at.

Going through the school will be the cheapest and quickest way to get some support though if you are thinking dyspraxia there may be a GP route -www.dyspraxiauk.com/secondaryagechildren.php

There is private testing- it is very pricey - www.dyspraxiauk.com/bookingcosts.php

There is a dsylexia screen on-line tool for £10 www.nessy.com/uk/product/dyslexia-screening/ which includes break down of working memory - if you do hit a brick wall it might be helpful to take and if it highlights something to go back and say look something isn't right.

TeenPlusTwenties letter is great - it shows you want to work with the school - so hopefully they will respond and get him looked at.