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Original poster

Would this piss you off?

125 replies

rosemary7 · 26/09/2019 21:58

I have two questions 1) do you think the following is bad or am I just sensitive? 2) would you mention anything?

So: SIL is due her first child and is the first of us all to have a child (also eldest). PIL are difficult and not particularly emotional but "prove love" through buying things - at least when they were all kids. This definitely explains DP's emotional side, or lack of.

Her baby shower is coming up and MIL (her and DP's mum just in case anyone is getting confused) said she can't go as they booked a UK mini break. They go on several a year. SIL was a bit sad that MIL wouldn't rearrange but as it was non refundable and booked first, she let it go.

However, we found out a few things. Firstly MIL is having cosmetic surgery that she hasn't told anyone about (she accidentally emailed us the £20k(!!!) invoice as DP has same name as FIL) and the holiday they booked they cancelled as it got a few bad reviews so they have rebooked (and lost their deposit) a new place somewhere different.

I've put it all together and realised MIL is having her cosmetic surgery (no reason to she's just in general a bit old) and going straight on this holiday so no one will see. I think it's bad she wouldn't even change anything for her own daughter's baby shower (she's had months of notice) and at the very least, has kept it all a secret!

Am I just being over the top? My mum would just never do that!

OP posts:
SilverySurfer · 26/09/2019 23:52

Forgot to add, no it wouldn't piss me off but you interfering would.

Srictlybakeoff · 27/09/2019 00:05

Agree baby showers are annoying. But how much plastic surgery is she having if it’s costing £20,000. Hmm

ceeveebee · 27/09/2019 00:11

A) none of your business
B) I don’t think baby showers are at all important and actually wouldn’t care at all if my mum was there or not, more of a friends thing for me
HTH

1forAll74 · 27/09/2019 00:19

MIL is very brave to have some surgery, hope all goes well for her. Baby showers she can do without, a modern day nuisance .

Leeds2 · 27/09/2019 00:30

I would do almost anything to get out of going to a baby shower.

This is absolutely none of your business. So, in your circumstances, I would keep my mouth well and truly shut.

user1473878824 · 27/09/2019 00:32

Sorry why would it be YOU being over sensitive? What’s it got to do with you?

saraclara · 27/09/2019 00:34

I think OP is just buzzing with her juicy gossip on her MIL (who she doesn’t like) and wants justification for sharing it.

Yep. You sound pretty horrible, OP.

A baby shower is a nothing event. And absolutely not worthy of a holiday rearrangement, even if it didn't involve surgery.

I'm not a believer in karma, but if you spill the beans about your MIL's surgery, I hope it exists and comes back to bite you.

saraclara · 27/09/2019 00:39

I think it's bad... at the very least, (she) has kept it all a secret!

Why the actual fuck should she have to tell anyone anything about it? She doesn't owe any of you anything in regard to her own personal decisions about her appearance.

No, it's not remotely bad of her to keep something to herself that is absolutely none of your business.

LoreleiRock · 27/09/2019 00:59

I would rather go on holiday than go to a baby shower. Hell, I would probably even prefer surgery than to go to a baby shower (and I am petrified of that idea). Baby showers are a pile of self indulgent and twee gub.

Cannyhandleit · 27/09/2019 01:06

If SIL was that bothered then she would reschedule baby shower so her mum could go! It's a baby shower not some pivotal moment in her life, non issue!

AlrightTreacle · 27/09/2019 01:15
  1. No
  2. No

It's really none of your business, feel sorry for your mother in law, must be hard to end up with a nosey parker/sh*t stirrer/drama llama for a daughter in law.

VenusTiger · 27/09/2019 01:21

Erm, you’ve got this the wrong way around imo - my mom would be the FIRST person I’d settle dates with before inviting anyone else and booking the shower in.

Oakandlove · 27/09/2019 01:23

a baby shower is such a self indulgent thing anyway, of course MIL should stick to her personal plans.

Mothership4two · 27/09/2019 01:29

I wouldn't be at all bothered if mil missed a baby shower for any reason tbh. They are not that big a deal for me. But she has actually got a good reason as she is scheduled for surgery. She then wants to recover privately without anyone seeing her immediately post surgery.

The fact that she's having cosmetic surgery is no-one else's business and the fact she is missing your sil's baby shower isn't your business. If your dp was invoiced in error, you both should keep quiet and not be passing on this info.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 27/09/2019 01:43

I think you resent your mother-in-law because you blame her for your partner’s perceived lack of emotion. Now you have the perfect excuse to disapprove - she’s not only been spending again, but is ditching her daughter’s baby shower to do so. What a materialistic old bitch, eh?

However, this ignores the fact that her daughter has chosen not to reschedule the shower. She can’t be THAT bothered. Also, you don’t appear to have considered the possibility that MIL has told her daughter about the surgery, privately, and asked her to keep it to herself. Maybe it’s just YOU that hasn’t been told.

finn1020 · 27/09/2019 02:26

You don’t like your MIL much do you OP? I feel sorry for her if you’re like this about her all the time.

Aaarrgghhh · 27/09/2019 11:34

I don’t think it would annoy me, but then I’ve had two kids, planning a third and have never had a baby shower and don’t intend to. It’s not something I’d be pissed about if not everyone could make it. I also wouldn’t say anything because well, it’s not an issue. Also, regards to surgery if she wants to keep it a secret then definitely don’t tell anyone, why would you? Feels petty for no reason if I’m honest.

AuntieMarys · 27/09/2019 11:38

As others have said, none of your business.
Baby showers are utter bollocks and meaningless.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/09/2019 11:39

A baby shower is not important.

If your MIL wants to have plastic surgery, that's entirely her business and none of yours. As is how she spends her money.

None of these things have anything to do with you!

AmIThough · 27/09/2019 11:46

Why doesn't SIL just rearrange the baby shower if she's that bothered?

The cosmetic surgery/money/holiday is absolutely none of your business.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 27/09/2019 12:00

As it goes, I would also have elective surgery to get me out of a baby shower

Grin

OP, what does any of this have to do with you really? It's none of your business that your MIL is having cosmetic surgery. It's a private matter but you've chosen to frame it as a "secret" to make it sound underhand and as though she's somehow doing it at you. Personally, I think baby showers are tedious and self-indulgent but if it's that important to your SIL why on earth didn't she check her DM was free before setting the date? This is just bad planning on her part.

NoSauce · 27/09/2019 12:20

Why do so many DILS think what their MIL does is any of their business when it has no bearing on them whatsoever?

The amount of threads from DILS unhappy about something their MIL has done that doesn’t involve them is getting ridiculous.

It’s no wonder there are so many problems within families.

Thehop · 27/09/2019 12:21

Baby showers are awful and grabby.....not important to MIL obviously.

I don’t see the problem.

Bluntness100 · 27/09/2019 12:25

I'm really shocked you'd think she should cancel surgery and a vacation to go to s baby shower, and that her cosmetic surgery is any of your business.

Honestly your behaviour and thoughts here are so far from ok.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 27/09/2019 13:06

I'd prefer to perform cosmetic surgery on myself with a Spork than go to a baby shower.

Are you coming back OP? Grin

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