To ignore Lush staff member to her face?

[OrangeMangoSmoothie]

I love Lush, unfortunately as anyone who's ever been knows, the staff can be a bit overwhelming. Grabbing your arms to rub products on, pouncing the second you're through the door, etc.

And as much as i love Lush, i'm also autistic and really bad with people and communication. I normally order online but if something is new i'd prefer to smell it first.

I went in today to browse the new halloween range and had very obvious headphones on with my back to staff. I kinda thought this would deter them but one popped up in front of my face (literally) as if to mouth something to me and gestured to the products.

Sometimes things like that happen, for example on public transport, or if im in someone's way and i can potentially take off my headphones and say sorry/no/excuse me. But i panicked because of how insanely close she was and recoiled then turned and moved. She then followed me a little bit (i had my head facing down) and she bent over to ask again, i think she said "can i help you with anything" but i still had noise cancelling headphones and music playing. I kept my head down and meandered a little then darted out the door.

I know on reflection that this was a bit rude on my part and i feel bad now for not answering but i wasn't capable. Was she BU to continue trying to get my attention? It felt like overkill and very intrusive. Im not sure if im overreacting because i need the space. Im used to people realising i "cant hear" them and leaving me be.

Im too embarrassed to wear anything like a badge saying i'm disabled and it would probably attract staff to want to "help" me more if i did. Does anyone have any advice on how to seem less rude when im not able to speak? Did this lady take it too far?

Aaaach no you were definitely not rude. The staff are just too much it puts me right off. I've had to leave their shops on occasion without buying they just harass you the minute you enter the store! I know they are probably made do it by the management, and I do feel bad for them but they need to lay off the strategy of approaching every customer several times. Annoying people does make them part with cash!

Body language can speak volumes. Holding a hand up is an acknowledgment of someone speaking to you but also letting them know, I see you & I'm not interested in engaging. It's how I greet door staff at a lot of shops, I usually do so with a smile but sometimes a stern face is necessary depending where you are.

But why should the OP, who is autistic, be required to learn and think about body language?

Couldn't Lush, as a fairly big and successful company, pick up the slack here?

I mean, FFS.

If the OP had a hearing impairment and didn't find it easy to speak clearly, would everyone be replying helpfully 'no thank you is just a few syllables ... if you practise in the mirror I expect you'll be able to manage them' or 'just carry a dictaphone with a recording of 'I'm so terribly sorry I'm deaf' and play it at them'? Let alone telling the OP 'gently' that she was rude?

Lush is the problem here

The customer is always right

So stop harassing customers

@Dyrne

It is her fault, if you think she was wrong. Everyone has a choice and you choose that choice many times every day. The staff member was fully capable of choosing not to interact with that customer. No one "forced" her to.

Ultimately walking into a shop where you know someone will approach you with headphones on is sort of asking for trouble unless you preempt it and counteract it but you say you don't want to visibly show a disability badgy, but you expect people to understand your subtle hints? , you can either politely tell them you prefer to browse yourself or you can accept the attention that the staff member gives you.

That said, a staff member should really be realising that someone with headphones on doesn't want to be engaged with and act accordingly.

Would it help to carry a laminated card with something like ‘Not being rude but I need my space, thank you’ that you could just get out of your pocket and hold out for them? I totally get that you don’t want to have sign to all and sundry pinned to your coat, this way you can discreetly ask for the space you need

Oh heck, I would have left too, without having autism. I might even have said something rude.

But why should the OP, who is autistic, be required to learn and think about body language?

Perhaps the staff member was also autistic and couldn't read the OPs body language?

I don't think it's got anything to do with you being autistic, it is annoying for ANYBODY. I cannot stand Lush for this reason. I was in there the other day and this annoying woman kept asking me questions:

What are you looking for today?
What would you like to try?
What's on your Wish List? (FFS I'm not four!)

In the end I left, which is sad, as I was going to treat myself for my birthday .

Jenny I was literally just going to mention that, only I couldn’t remember where I’d seen the idea! It’s so simple yet brilliant. Honestly don’t see why we can’t have this in all high street shops, to be honest.

Might be worth suggesting something like this if you do email them, OP? It’d be perfectly suited to Lush stores in my opinion.

I fully sympathise, I love the lush products, but like you I really struggle with the staff interaction! I get the stock phrase thing but is seems like the more you manoeuvre around the shop the more members of staff keep appearing. I'm with PP who suggest emailing/tweeting to explain its a little too intrusive for customers and could alternative methods be used?

Can you tweet about this. Lush are painfully woke, so should be far more accommodating to neurodiverse customers. (Although I think their wokeness is only really concerned with throwing women under the bus, as per fucking usual, so may be worth a try.)

I was in Edinburgh Woollen Mill yesterday and I was irritated yet again by their staff approaching me to initiate conversation. There is nothing wrong with saying hello but every member of staff approached me whilst I was browsing to do so and to tell me that there was an extra 20 percent off sale items. Fine to tell you once but it is annoying to be constantly interrupted and I felt harassed. It is OTT and I hate it . I wish they would just leave me alone to look in peace. It puts me off shopping there.
I wouldn't care but I bought a sale item and when I got home realised they hadn't deducted the 20 percent anyway .
So yanbu at all imo.

Just leave your headphones on and say mo thank you next time.

Best tactic I find is to expect being approached, smile and say you don’t want any help thank you but if you do you will ask and they’re then pretty good at leaving you alone, sometimes to have to say this to every member of staff in there when they try approaching you though 🙄. It is ott in there but my experience is they’re been respectful of me saying I don’t need or want help. Sometimes I’ll go back to them after saying no to ask or check something and they’re always happy to answer my question and I don’t feel like they’re trying to oversell or talk me into anything. I agree they are very much on you as soon as you enter the store and there re always quite a few of them in there. I’d rather less staff clogging up the quite small shop I go to and cheaper products due to reduced overheads from less staff.

Any staff member approaching me and hassling me in a shop is pretty much guaranteed to make me leave.

It’s rude and it prevents you actually looking for things properly:

Lush staff seem to leave me alone these days, so OP I think the answer to this situation is to suddenly become middle-aged with a severe ‘look’

Seriously, though, you weren’t in the wrong. The problem is an over-bearing customer service model that doesn’t allow the staff enough discretion.

You weren't rude. I don't have autism but had selective mutism as a child and that kind of interaction seems to make me unable to speak. Luckily the Lush near me don't seem to talk to anyone.

I went into another recently though and they started doing the hard sell on my 8yr old by getting his attention by picking up the bath bombs he was talking to me about and showing him how they work and saying how he should ask mum to get one. I just walked out. (With him obviously)

YANBU at all OP. You didn't want to talk and told her so - she didn't listen. You didn't do anything wrong.

However it's interesting that so many responses advocate being flat out rude to shop assistants who are just doing their job.

You really think it's acceptable to shove your hand in someone's face to tell them to stop? It's such a demeaning, belittling way to treat someone who has just said hello to you. Would it really hurt you to just smile and say hello back?

It doesn't matter that you're not intending to be rude - it's a horrible way to treat someone who, at the end of the day, doesn't really want to talk to you either but has a job to do and bills to pay.

I visit because my student daughter loves it and it's perfect treat stuff. The staff in our local shop are a pain but I just breezily say "I'll cjose somethong but please leave me to it" They tend to butt out and they are always v helpful at the till. TBF our store gas nooks and xrannies and I imagine it's a shoplifters paradise.

@justbeingadad what a bizarre attitude. Yes, the shop assistant may have had the “choice” of whether or not to approach customers but that “choice” would have also left her without work (either let go as she’s only a temp or punished by not being given any hours because she’s not meeting targets).

Lush as a company is the problem here, but until customers vote with their feet and refuse to put up with their shit business practices, they will continue to do it. There are plenty of other, better, more eco-friendly bath products out there, not sure why Lush seems to have cornered the market.

Lush and the Body Shop are the same. I feel like Indiana Jones trying to avoid their assistants sometimes. Once in a Body Shop I was asked 4 times in 5 minutes if I needed help. I must look like an idiot or a thief. I once read about a shop that had two colours of baskets - the red one meant ‘I’d like assistance’ and the black one meant ‘leave me alone’. I think this is a brilliant idea - also clever. Shops know that once you have a basket in your hand you’re more likely to put something in it.

No thank you. I will let you know if I need any help" and see if that does the trick.

In Lush that doesn’t work.

I’ve had several similar experiences and it’s really annoying. I’ve had to be quite rude to get them to leave me alone to browse. Last time this happened I did contemplate asking to speak to the manager but I didn’t want to appear to be complaining about the assistant. I assume it’s policy to get in customer’s faces ...

I used to like to browse in Lush but I rarely do now and so of course don’t spend much money there any more.

There used to be a phone shop back in the day when they had enough staff to pounce on you that had badges or lanyards (can't remember which) at the door that you could pick up if you didn't want to be hassled.