To ignore Lush staff member to her face?

[OrangeMangoSmoothie]

I love Lush, unfortunately as anyone who's ever been knows, the staff can be a bit overwhelming. Grabbing your arms to rub products on, pouncing the second you're through the door, etc.

And as much as i love Lush, i'm also autistic and really bad with people and communication. I normally order online but if something is new i'd prefer to smell it first.

I went in today to browse the new halloween range and had very obvious headphones on with my back to staff. I kinda thought this would deter them but one popped up in front of my face (literally) as if to mouth something to me and gestured to the products.

Sometimes things like that happen, for example on public transport, or if im in someone's way and i can potentially take off my headphones and say sorry/no/excuse me. But i panicked because of how insanely close she was and recoiled then turned and moved. She then followed me a little bit (i had my head facing down) and she bent over to ask again, i think she said "can i help you with anything" but i still had noise cancelling headphones and music playing. I kept my head down and meandered a little then darted out the door.

I know on reflection that this was a bit rude on my part and i feel bad now for not answering but i wasn't capable. Was she BU to continue trying to get my attention? It felt like overkill and very intrusive. Im not sure if im overreacting because i need the space. Im used to people realising i "cant hear" them and leaving me be.

Im too embarrassed to wear anything like a badge saying i'm disabled and it would probably attract staff to want to "help" me more if i did. Does anyone have any advice on how to seem less rude when im not able to speak? Did this lady take it too far?

One sure way to get me to walk out of a shop is to approach me within seconds asking "can I help you" or offering opinion on how amazing whatever it is I've just started to look at is.

Don't feel bad, OP. I can guarantee that sales assistant isn't thinking about you or your encounter today! She was pushy. You walked away. You didn't do anything wrong.

While it may not have been her fault YANBU.

I've worked in retail, large department stores mainly. There was always stuff about approaching every customer, eye contact, asking if they need help etc. but it was never, ever enforced unless there was a visit from the higher ups because nobody likes it. Staff don't like it, customers don't like it. Unfortunately for Lush staff, it appears that it is enforced. It's shit, but perhaps everyone should complain every time it happens in the hope that it might persuade them to change their policy.

I'm afraid a simple "no thank you" would have been a better way to deal with it.

Oh, that's utter bollocks! Have you not seen that people on this thread sa that gets you nowhere? I've not been in Lush voluntarily, but even when I've stood outside waiting for a mate, I've had them come out and try to buy things. It's absolutely not their fault - the company thinks this is a good business model - but you must realise they are very persistent.

Oh dear, you poor thing. It sounds as though she’s very bad at reading body language!

No, this is what Lush staff are told to do.

The thing that I hate in Lush is when you buy something and they coo over it saying ‘ooh, what a good choice, I’ve been eyeing that up myself’ etc. I’m sure they’re told they have to say but I always wonder what the point is, considering I’m already buying it so it doesn’t need any more selling.

There is NOTHING that gets on my tits more when I'm shopping. FatFace are the absolute worst for it. It's nauseating. It makes me want to scream.

OP, I hate being pestered by staff too. Again FatFace is dreadful for this. They have a 'pouncer' positioned by the front door who almost wrestles you to the ground in their eagerness to 'help'. I feel hugely alienated by it, but at the same time enormously sorry for the poor staff member who has to do it or lose their job. What an existence!

@OrangeMangoSmoothie, dunno if this works?

'Dear Lush,

I am a fan of your products and want to buy them, but I've had some bad experiences in your shops. I'm autistic, and always indicate that I would prefer to be left alone to browse, but recently I've had to leave the shop because I was persistently questioned by staff.

[Now, personally, I'd say 'And can you stop training your poor staff to be fucking rude and annoying,' but you, OP, are nicer than me. So maybe this instead:]

Would it be possible to train your staff with some autism awareness? Could they look out for the sunflower lanyard, which is worn to indicate a hidden disability (such as autism)?

Yours,

[name]

Do they actually touch you without asking???

I swear to god, if anyone from Lush actually tried to rub stuff on my arm without war ING me I'd cause a bit of a scene and give no fucks about doing so.

I think they need to train their staff to greet customers at the door and just say “let me know if you need any help while browsing” and just back off.

I do think they’re too intensely overwhelming.

It’s also the time Christmas temps are starting and they’re under a lot of pressure to meet targets and bring new. They have targets that every customer should be approached at least once and targets to demo products. If they don’t meet them they get a dressing down. As many are new and wanting to impress to possibly be kept on after Christmas (they don’t recruit any other time of year for shop floor staff, you start as a Christmas temp and hope to be kept on).

Honestly the best thing to do is be honest and upfront. Explain you have sensory issues and want to be left alone - then assistants will report back to floor leader and it will be discreetly circulated to leave you alone. Otherwise every customer is expected to be approached, doesn’t matter if you have headphones in/back to staff/not making eye contact etc. Also report back to lush themselves, it’s an issue with their training that won’t change unless enough people raise the issue.

By the way the more seasoned staff that are around in the first half of the year when it’s quieter will be more experienced and able to read the no vibes better. This is literally the worst time to go tbh due to all the new staff and releasing their Halloween and Xmas ranges so they’ll be really pushing them atm.

OP in your email just say what happened. Your autistic, sales assistant ignored your subtle indications to leave you alone (headphones, moving away from staff) and invaded your personal space. Could they please look into educating staff about the sunflower lanyard so that autistic people can enjoy shopping in their stores without staff inadvertently distressing them.

I was in lush a few weeks ago, buying sleepy cream and looking at the Halloween things. The same woman (staff) approached me three times to ask if I needed help, the first two I said 'no thank you I'm just browsing', the third I went to repeat myself again and then said 'actually do you have any bath products, bubble bath, bombs, oils that smell like this' and held up my sleepy cream. She showed me shower gel, I explained I wanted a bath product, she asked me if I knew what a bath bomb was I said yes, do you have one that smells like this (again holding up sleepy cream). She then said I don't know, we'll go and sniff them! She took me to the bubble bars and said 'this one is blue', it was fruity and nothing like the cream I had (which also isn't blue ). I did oh yes DH has used that one before it's nice but not at all similar to the cream. I then picked up the baby bot and said I think this is the closest because they both have lavender.

She then literally just walked away saying no more and leaving me to go to the till and stand and wait for another member of staff to come and take my money. I think she may have been having a stroke.

YANBU OP people can't just come up and get in your face, your signals were clear, I've got headphones on, I've not responded to your initial approach, leave me alone.

I would add

and so I left without buying anything
and/or
I will no longer be able to shop in your stores

it's all about the bottom line

I know on reflection that this was a bit rude on my part and i feel bad now for not answering but i wasn't capable.

Not rude at all. I would contact Lush and ask them to do some training with their staff.

it can be difficult to always get social situations right.
Someone with headphones on doesn’t want you to talk to them. Not exactly a difficult situation to read.

I was at a shopping center today and they have a weekly Purple Day.
Nice and virtue signalling. This kind of thing pisses me off. I will put money on it not being a weekend? A local restaurant has an ASN night in their softplay. It’s a Monday. One of their quietest days. Cynic in me says that’s a great way to ensure their takings are up on a Monday. Parents with kids with ASN are constantly guilted in to going along because they keep threatening to stop it if it’s not well attended. So parents of kids with ASN are told they must go out for dinner on a Monday. Local Christmas ice rink does disability friendly sessions. Always weekdays, always early afternoon. Like people with disabilities don’t have school/work.

Lionel

Well I won’t shop on Lush but there was a cath kidson near us and the staff would pounce when you came through the door and every member of staff would approach you. It’s really off putting when all you want to do is browse (and think £10 for a tea towel???). They seem to have stopped doing it now thank goodness.

I don’t think either of you were rude, you both had good reasons for your behaviour.

And no, you shouldn’t wear a badge. Maybe ring the store and politely flag it up as part of customer service opinion.

Could you shop in there with someone in tow next time and let them do the chatting?

@LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook not sure if you found it or actually already knew but the twilight bath bomb is the same as sleepy (that scent is my all time favourite) they also have a soap in the range too now as well as the shower gel and jelly.

Don't feel bad OP, I can't cope with the staff in Lush either! I'm neurotypical and actually very chatty/sociable but even I hate going in there now, the staff make it a very stressful shopping experience. If my daughter wants to go in there now, I make her dad take her!

@FuckingWaffleDoggy thank you! Two minutes on MN more help than fifteen minutes being hounded in lush. I started using the cream when I was pregnant and I'm now addicted to it.

Lush needs to be told to dial down their "customer service"

Can you gently put your palm up in a stop sign and Just shake your head? Then turn away? Universal “not today” body language. It doesn’t have to be in rude way. I do this to the street charity vendors with a half arsed smile. I don’t invite them getting into my space and I don’t want to interact.

I am really tired of this 'one size fits all' attitude that retailers have, in the way that they train staff to engage with members of the public in that 'all up in your shit' kind of way. I was in frankie and bennys the other week, just on my own and the waiter decided to sit across from me with his arms crossed while I told him my order. It was bloody bizarre and made me feel really uncomfortable. When will they start to realise that most customers REALLY don't appreciate it when staff act as if they are your friend. There are vulnerable people out there who just want to be fucking left alone.

I find Lush staff too pushy too.
It puts me off going in.
Why do they train their staff to be like that if people avoid their store because of it ?

I think retailers should adopt this Korean idea I saw on LinkedIn

(In case the phot doesn't show up, it's coloured coded baskets so you chose your basket based on whether you want help or not)

I usually have DS with me who is so OTT friendly and excitable that he scares chuggers and overly friendly staff ASAP .

I appreciate you essentially froze this time, but I've found that saying you're not interested in buying anything at the moment is really useful as they'll target someone else (hopefully), however, you shouldn't be friggin' hounded when you're in a shop so you have my sympathies.