To ignore Lush staff member to her face?

[OrangeMangoSmoothie]

I love Lush, unfortunately as anyone who's ever been knows, the staff can be a bit overwhelming. Grabbing your arms to rub products on, pouncing the second you're through the door, etc.

And as much as i love Lush, i'm also autistic and really bad with people and communication. I normally order online but if something is new i'd prefer to smell it first.

I went in today to browse the new halloween range and had very obvious headphones on with my back to staff. I kinda thought this would deter them but one popped up in front of my face (literally) as if to mouth something to me and gestured to the products.

Sometimes things like that happen, for example on public transport, or if im in someone's way and i can potentially take off my headphones and say sorry/no/excuse me. But i panicked because of how insanely close she was and recoiled then turned and moved. She then followed me a little bit (i had my head facing down) and she bent over to ask again, i think she said "can i help you with anything" but i still had noise cancelling headphones and music playing. I kept my head down and meandered a little then darted out the door.

I know on reflection that this was a bit rude on my part and i feel bad now for not answering but i wasn't capable. Was she BU to continue trying to get my attention? It felt like overkill and very intrusive. Im not sure if im overreacting because i need the space. Im used to people realising i "cant hear" them and leaving me be.

Im too embarrassed to wear anything like a badge saying i'm disabled and it would probably attract staff to want to "help" me more if i did. Does anyone have any advice on how to seem less rude when im not able to speak? Did this lady take it too far?

YANBU. I know it's not their fault...they're made to hassle people...but there's a FINE line and you displayed the correct body language AND had earphones on.

I HATE people coming close to me and bothering me when shopping. I tend to smile and say "No thank you" and then turn away.

Anyone who continues to bother me after that has a problem and I don't care if they think I'm rude if I then blank them completely.

You were rude. A simple I’m fine thanks would have worked.

You do realise staff are constantly hammered on showing ‘customer service’. They don’t want to be in your face all the time.

You weren’t rude, in fact I think you dealt with the problem very well.

I’m not autistic but I hate it when I’m approached aggressively in a shop and given the hard sell. I automatically clam up and can’t think straight when trying to make a decision and find it difficult and embarrassing to be assertive. So I sympathise.

Lush in an awful company. Another reason to not shop there.

I have worked in a shop when I was a student and had sales targets to meet per shift. I was also expecting to pounce on customers within X seconds of them entering the store. I hated every second of that job. As a customer, being hounded is a sure fire way to ensure I leave empty handed.

You were rude. Being autistic doesn’t preclude you from being rude. It’s just gives a background or more of a reason for it.

The girl did overstep the mark too though.

You really should work on developing a stock response for these situations

I have left a Lush shop before now, and not been back, because a sales assistant would not leave me alone having been told repeatedly that I didn't want help. Their loss. YANBU.

I can't stand Lush because of the stench. However, I think you should tweet them and point out that the way they train their staff is a problem for some customers. It really shouldn't be hard to understand that an autistic person may not find it easy to manage a 'simple' 'I'm fine, thanks' and may be quite intimidated.

For that matter, if someone is partially sighted or has hearing issues, a person looming up into their face and repeating things can be very disorienting. Lush ought to train people better.

I don’t think either of you were rude. You are within your rights to want to shop quietly and she is subject to the frankly bonkers over familiar customer service expectations of Lush.

I don’t think you were rude and I wouldn’t bear it any more thought.

I dont think you were rude.

I went into Lush a couple of weeks ago, browsing whilst waiting to meet a friend. I was in there for about 5 minutes and had 4 staff approach me. I was polite to them all, declining help, but actually asked the last one to leave me alone to browse as I’d been asked by 3 others. I didn’t buy anything and it’s definitely put me off.

For people saying the OP should "just" have told her politely "no thanks" and had stock phrases ready for use, I don't know how much you know about autism? And I don't mean that in a provocative sense. Sensory overload is a very real problem for people on the spectrum and in Lush where you're already being bombarded with smells, having someone appear very close to you and invade your space can push you over the edge, particularly on the wrong day. The OP has explained that she panicked - at that moment, her brain wouldn't have been functioning sufficiently clearly for her to be able to respond. She did the only thing she felt able to do in the circumstances which was withdraw. Perhaps it wasn't the politest response but she wasn't being deliberately rude, it was the best she could manage in the circumstances.

OP, don't worry. If Lush train their staff to be like that it's not your fault. Don't beat yourself up. Maybe try the sunflower lanyard and contact Lush HQ to ask them to make their staff aware of what it means. That won't compromise their annoying pushy approach in general (sigh) but will allow you the space that you need to be able to function in a public space.

And for info, Mum to autistic children here.

Ugh, I've never been into Lush and never will. I used to avoid the Disney Shop when I was younger and all they did was say Hello at the door. I like to shop in peace and if I want help ask for it.

You were within your rights to leave without speaking. Saying no thank you absolutely doesn't work in Lush because they don't normally ask if you need help, they say "Ooh, your hair is lovely, come and look at our x shampoo for curls!" or hover until you pause in front of something and then start batting at you with the tester, or start asking you about your day. They don't use closed questions and it is a bloody nightmare. I haven't been in a shop for years and I used to spend hundreds.

It very much depends on my mood as to whether I can be arsed with the Lush brand of over-enthusiasm which is roughly as subtle as their signature shop smell. I think it would be fine to say something like ‘I appreciate you are just doing your job, but I prefer to shop on my own,’ or just ‘If I need help I’ll ask.’ And smile. The most over-enthusiastic Lush intervention I ever received was the young woman who rushed at me clutching a bowl of suds and exclaiming ‘hmmmm, smell the herbs!’ It was like joining a religious cult.

Do Lush staff grab people’s arms? Really?

‘Can I help you?’

‘No thank you’

End of problem

Only that doesn't work in Lush. Those crazy people don't leave you alone

They must lose a lot of custom by being sooooo overbearing and it's not just the shop floor staff trying to sell to you, the ones on the till are not happy until they know your entire life story.

YANBU OP, I hate it in there for the same reason as you which is a shame because I like their stuff.

Speak Spanish.
Pretend you are on the phone.
Just shake your head.
Put a hand up palm outward and shake your head and turn away.

I don’t like help but the staff are told to do it so it’s not really their fault.

It’s good to have some assertive ‘no’ skills as it’ll make you more confident in other situations. The more you try them, the easier it will become.

Those first options can be used one at a time.

Not all at once! For clarity.

She wasn't being rude asking if she could help you. She was doing her job.

I know on reflection that this was a bit rude on my part and i feel bad now for not answering but i wasn't capable.

If you weren't capable then you weren't capable. Don't give it another thought. I'm sure she won't.

Someone should tweet this thread
Lush - no one likes this shit, so get your staff to back off
You might be surprised by the results

Why should she have some 'no' skills though? We should all be allowed to shop in peace without being hassled by shop staff.
I think you should start a campaign OP, telling Lush to leave us all the fuck alone

Was she BU to continue trying to get my attention?

Dyme is right. Unfortunately for you she would have been in trouble with her manager for not trying to get your attention. DD did a trial shift in Lush after getting through the first round of interviews. She didn’t get the job because the shop was very quiet that day and the staff that already worked there jumped on the customers the minute they came through the door. Basically, she wasn’t pushy enough.

Far too many shop managers seem to think that this is the way forward in retail, but IMO it is driving customers away. DD also did a trial shift at House (kitchenware shop) and didn’t get the job because she wasn’t pushy enough. She was told that she should approach a customer three times. They are also given sales targets.

I'm afraid a simple "no thank you" would have been a better way to deal with it. Unless you wear a label stating that you don't want to be approached a shop assistant will just think you are being rude if you just turn your back instead of saying a polite no thank you.

I don't approve of these pushy sales tactics, but practising polite deflective tactics should make shopping less stressful for you.

Agree staff are too much, and it's absolutely not their fault!

Sounds totally overbearing. I have never been in Lush as the smell from outside hurts my nose. Sounds like they’re over powering in every sense.

Thank you so much everyone for your replies

I do attempt stock responses, usually "no thank you", "sorry" or i try to shake my head no. I can't make eye contact and often feel bad because i must seem rude

I think emailing is a good idea, i might try and write one up (any suggestions would be great). Especially to mention the sunflower lanyard or if they could have something a customer could pick up in store to indicate they need space

I had no idea about their targets, that's awful. I was prepared-ish for some kind of encounter but because she put her face so close to my face and gave me a fright my whole brain just melted

It's really helped me that so many posters have had similar experiences, thank you