To ignore Lush staff member to her face?

[OrangeMangoSmoothie]

I love Lush, unfortunately as anyone who's ever been knows, the staff can be a bit overwhelming. Grabbing your arms to rub products on, pouncing the second you're through the door, etc.

And as much as i love Lush, i'm also autistic and really bad with people and communication. I normally order online but if something is new i'd prefer to smell it first.

I went in today to browse the new halloween range and had very obvious headphones on with my back to staff. I kinda thought this would deter them but one popped up in front of my face (literally) as if to mouth something to me and gestured to the products.

Sometimes things like that happen, for example on public transport, or if im in someone's way and i can potentially take off my headphones and say sorry/no/excuse me. But i panicked because of how insanely close she was and recoiled then turned and moved. She then followed me a little bit (i had my head facing down) and she bent over to ask again, i think she said "can i help you with anything" but i still had noise cancelling headphones and music playing. I kept my head down and meandered a little then darted out the door.

I know on reflection that this was a bit rude on my part and i feel bad now for not answering but i wasn't capable. Was she BU to continue trying to get my attention? It felt like overkill and very intrusive. Im not sure if im overreacting because i need the space. Im used to people realising i "cant hear" them and leaving me be.

Im too embarrassed to wear anything like a badge saying i'm disabled and it would probably attract staff to want to "help" me more if i did. Does anyone have any advice on how to seem less rude when im not able to speak? Did this lady take it too far?

There's been some really supportive and helpful replies thank you all, for everyone that understands how it feels neuro-typical, disabled or otherwise, i wonder if a social media campaign could work?

I avoid the Body Shop because i managed to say "no thank you" to them one day and continued browsing... they called security because i looked "suspicious". I was so embarrassed and my partner at the time was furious to find me outside in an alley in tears. Unfortunately i can see how a disability and a shoplifter can appear similar i just wish it wasn't the case.

Does anyone have any other shops to recommend?

I use Lush because they have a store available in town and at this point ive sniffed most the products! A repugnant smell can be a serious trigger for me and i cant cope so like to know before i buy (hence why i dont use smaller companies online). But if there are other shops without these sales tactics i would love to change where i send my custom

If you know which ones you like the smell of maybe you could order mainly online and then when you feel on a coping day pop in and see what else you like?

orangemango our local large garden centre sell bath bombs (I think from bath bomb cosmetics) and soaps which you can smell without being pounced on, we also have a plastic free shop that sells amazing products too, I tend to go there instead of lush.

We have to do those things. We're not doing it to piss you off, or to get in your face, or to wind you up. It's our JOBS

So I repeat, why are staff not providing feedback that it puts people off and doesn't work.
Because shop assistants are usually held in the same contempt by management as they are by a proportion of customers. You're accused of laziness or issues around discipline and just not wanting to do it, having the wrong attitude for the company or at best totally ignored.

All I can think is that people (women) are so conditioned to be people pleasers that they are too concerned about seeming rude if they say no, so say yes to the half price fragrance in Superdrug or whatever.

Exactly, and the people pushing these policies know that, and that's why they do it. It creates a sale, which creates profit, and that's all that's important. They do not care about the staff more than they are tools to create profit. They do not have to deal with the fall out from the customer. They are well aware of the fact people only buy extra because they're under pressure, and that the sales assistants given the choice, would not do the hard sell, because it's uncomfortable for both parties. So they simply remove that choice. And complaints are easily dealt with too, they'll quite simply throw the staff member complained about under the bus, apologise and promise training. And then carry on regardless.

I can see why people wouldn't think it happens, I didn't before I fell foul of it, and I only lasted 6 months in such a place. But unfortunately in a culture where profit is all, zero hours contracts are standard and there are people needing jobs, no matter how crap, it's the norm.

Because shop assistants are usually held in the same contempt by management as they are by a proportion of customers. You're accused of laziness or issues around discipline and just not wanting to do it, having the wrong attitude for the company or at best totally ignored.

This ^^ is absolutely true. There are far too many people on here who refuse to believe this, but this seems to be retail's anwer to falling sales, and it clearly isn't working.

I'm gonna try and get my big girl pants on and email them, but less to write a complaint and more make an obvious point that Lush isn't disabilty-friendly (for some)

Is it disability friendly at all? There's zero room in the shop and they make no effort to limit the amount of customers at a time. This makes it so tight I would dread to see someone with mobility issues in there.

I really struggle in Lush. It's hot, cramped and the smells together are so overpowering. Add that to staff being constantly up in your business, pulling you to try stuff and touching you.

I don't think you were rude at all OP, she should have picked up on your obvious vibe and left you alone

The best place to buy toiletries without being pounced on is a supermarket, and many of them are fragrance free, so there’s no problem with being unsettled by a fragrance.

I worked for Lush so I'm used to OTT customer service but hourglass in selfridges was ridiculous
Tiny counter, I wanted to swatch some makeup. Three assistants. Within 3 mins all of them had offered help/tried to get me to look at other products - they were stood within a metre of each other! I walked off because I felt so uncomfortable
Charlotte tilbury on the other hand. Asked if I was looking for anything, I said no just checking lipstick colours. Assistant "well your eye makeup tells me you know what you're doing, shout if you need me"

@Livelovebehappy

Please explain how exactly OP was 'using their disability as an excuse?

Thank you for posting this, To be honest it hadn’t occurred to me that people (adults) wearing headphones in public may be doing so because they are autistic and it’s a strategy rather than they like music.

I think you should be commended for finding ways to be productive and you definitely weren’t rude, Walking into a shop does not imply consent that you want aggressive sales pitching; they need to be educated to read people’s body language.

Sorry this happened to you

ultimatesalt ..because simply saying ‘..I don’t need help thank you...’ is not beyond the capabilities of someone, even with autism, to say right at the offset. The op is basically saying that because she has autism, she doesn’t need to respond. Obviously if after shutting down the lush worker right from the off she still continued to follow op round, then op would have a point and would be within her rights to not engage further.

@Livelovebehappy

FFS. OP said she panicked, which as someone who also has autism I completely understand. If someone unexpectedly was suddenly right in my face like that, my only instinct would be to get the hell away from them. I would be incapable of anything else.

Lush must be difficult with ASD. I find them a lot sometimes and am a sociable extrovert.

Would it help to practice what to say before you go in? So 'I won't be needing help thank you' or 'I prefer to look alone'.

I know you can still sometimes be startled and tbh I don't think you were rude.. just coping.

To stop them rubbing shit on me I always say 'sorry, I have eczema so please don't put products on me.'

Which always works.

If you really wanted you could print a little card? 'I have Autism, please allow me to look by myself'. And then all you have to do is hand it to them. If you wanted to do that of course.

I think you should write a polite note to Lush explaining what happened and asking them to give some staff training on disability awareness and customers with autism. The lady clearly was ignorant of the fact that you couldn’t cope with her in your face but she and other staff can easily learn to recognise the blatant signals you were giving. Too often hounding in an extrovert manner is lauded as good sales technique to the point that staff forget their customers have very different needs at times.

I hate Lush with a passion. Their stinking shops are ubiquitous here in Qatar, funny when you think of all that nasty polluting air freight (I know it's air freighted) and their staff are out in the malls dragging people in. It's a horrible ethos and a shit product range.

I like Lush but I just give a very stern no thank you to anyone that approaches me & they leave me alone. I hate being sold to, it's wrong to attempt to pressure people into feeling they need things that they don't.

It’s not her fault - Lush treat their staff like shit. They get a bollocking if they don’t leap on customers as soon as they come through the door. They actually have targets of getting a product onto the customer within X amount of time and are hauled over the coals if they don’t meet said target.

Really? How grim and offputting.

I went in to buy a generic Christmas gift once. Literally walked straight up to the shelf to pick a random 'approx £10 ready wrapped gift' to go and buy it.

I was approached by six members of staff within this 10m/90s path.

I don’t go to Lush because of their ethics as much as anything else, but how many times should someone have to say ‘I don't need help, thank you?’

My niece adores Clare’s Accessories tat but when I popped into my local branch, I left after about 3 minutes because again, the staff just wouldn’t leave me alone and the polite ‘I’d like to browse quietly, thanks’ just didn’t work for more than about 30 seconds.

Livelovebehappy

I also have autism and for me it also come with selective mutism. This means in some circumstances (and I can't predict when this happens btw) I am physically incapable of speaking to you no matter how much I want to. And when I say physically incapable I mean literally- I have tried until it causes me actual real world physical pain and not a sound came out. If someone was pressuring me to interact with them like that I would freak the fuck out and it is very likely I wouldn't be able to tell them what was wrong. Any kind of unwanted attention can also have me unable to move, one of my other health conditions is extremely affected by stress and can occasionally cause actual paralysis and also weakness in my facial muscles meaning I may look perfectly normal but might be unintelligible when I speak, sounding drunk or like I have learning disabilities. This is seriously distressing and embarrassing. I can't "just" pull up some stock phrase as I can't always fucking talk. Not everybody is able to "just" do things that seem easy to you. How nice for you that life is that fucking simple.

As an aside I have been in a wheelchair for a year and haven't been near a lush because 1. I could barely cope with how pushy the staff were when I could walk away from them and 2. Its always uncomfortably cramped in there anyway so taking my chair in seems like a pointless exercise where I get made to feel in the way for just existing.

I sympathise @OrangeMangoSmoothie. I haven't been in a Lush in years because of this. It is totally overwhelming and they do this weird thing of pretending to be your best friend and asking random personal questions about your weekend etc whilst also trying to push products. I am currently waiting for an ASD assessment.

They have never left me alone when I have just said things like "Thanks. I'm just looking and don't need help right now." People who have said you should have used a stock response have never tried it.

I've solved my problem by just using other shops but as you want to shop there maybe bring in a piece of paper saying "I am autistic. Please give me space. I am easily overwhelmed. I will ask for help if I need it and will bring any purchases to the till when I am done." If they ignore your card you might have grounds for suing them for failure to make a reasonable adjustment.

I think it’s rude to try interrupt someone with headphones in to speak to them anyway, whatever their reason for wearing them, unless they’re on fire and haven’t yet noticed. It’s a clear sign you are closed to conversation. When I’m in places where I get regularly harassed/approached by men (looking at you, London) I wear them even if I’m not listening to anything as it gives me plausible deniability that I haven’t heard them or means I can pull one out, figure out what they want, then put them back in with a ‘sorry I’m busy’ and pretend I can no longer hear them.

The things you have to do to exist and move around in the world while female eh.

I've solved my problem by just using other shops

Yes, same here. I tend to search out shops which are already busy, so the staff are more likely to leave me alone until I want some help. If I look in a shop doorway to see a virtually empty shop with 2/3 or more sales assistants stood around, then I'm likely to walk away.

It's neither your fault, nor hers.

Anyone who says staff members are taught to jump up on people and be in your face, training or not, you can tell by looking at someone or catching their eye if they're welcoming a chat or not. If they avoid your eyes or just generally look away, (which OrangeMangoSmoothie did), it's not rocket science that they're not eagerly awaiting a pouncing!

Also, I'm not on the spectrum and if I'm really in an alone kind of mood while shopping, staff insisting upon contact agitates me, makes me just leave the store sometimes. OrangeMangoSmoothie, I get it, and you don't need to be on the backfoot simply because of the spectrum part. Personal space applies to all humans

and they do this weird thing of pretending to be your best friend and asking random personal questions about your weekend etc

Oh God, this is the worst.

It's so insincere.

'So, what are your plans for the weekend?'

Like they actually give a shit. It's so awkward, when you're forced to give some generic answer, knowing full well that the underpaid retail worker really could not care less about your weekend.

Does management really think customers are that stupid?

I like Lush products but I only ever use them when someone else has bought them as a gift for me because like so many people, I cannot bear going into their shops and being attacked by their serving staff. I can't imagine how horrible that was for you, OP, and I'm glad that you are going to write to them about it.