To not give my 14yr old the biggest bedroom in the house?

[sashamichele]

I'm a single mum to 4 girls 17,14,5,2 and a son 19. We live in a 4 bedroom house.
The bedrooms are all different sizes there's a box room which will fit a single bed, bedside table and a chest of drawers or a desk.
The next size room is bigger but but an awkward shape but would fit a small double bed, desk and drawers.
The next one is on the other side of the house and is a good size and is mine, theres a king size bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers and a tall skinny bookshelf and bedside table.
Then the 4th is the biggest but not overly massive but the biggest of the 4.
At the minute DD's 14 and 17 share a room and DD's 5 and 2 but now there box room is going spare DD's 14/17 want there own rooms which is understandable so we're swapping round rooms. Dd 17 is going into the second room which atm DD's 5&2 share. So that leaves dd14 in the biggest room of the house and she wants to stay put and let the two little some go into the box room with a bunk bed.
Aibu to tell her that the little ones need the biggest room as they share? She's kicking off about it.

I’d say 14yo & 17yo should have the box room & next smallest, flip a coin for who gets which, 5 & 2yo share the biggest.

However, why does the 17 year old automatically get the bigger room and the 14 year old the box room? Was it decided in a fair way (i.e. not just assumed because 17 year old is older?)

It was her room originally when we moved in ( when the five yr old was a baby) no naturally it just went back to her. The two teens don't get along sharing. When we moved in dd14 had the biggest room because she would eventually be sharing with her younger sibling, dd5 stayed in our room until she was 1 so dd14 had the room to herself for a year almost. She acts like she's never had her own room ever

14yo should go in box room till the summer when presumably the 17yo will have finished school/college and then move into the bigger room for start of y11. She may be happier to go in the box room if she knows that when she will need to spend more time studying quietly etc she will be able to move into the larger room.

I'd have said draw straws for 14 and 17yo over box room or put 17yo in it.
She's next to move out and I assume has so far been the one who's had her own room the most?

@youarenotkiddingme Not always the case that the eldest moves out first though. I'm the eldest of 3 but I was the last to leave home
14 yr old is out loads more than the 17 yr old.

Anyway I've measured the box room and it's not so small after all. 10ft by 8ft that's not small is it? The box room in my old hauled was loads smaller .

Just tell her straight. It's not happening. The matter is closed.

You don’t need to justify your decisions.
She can choose her room when she pays the bills

Give her 2 options, accept it gracefully and I'll decorate it for you. Don't be graceful and I won't decorate it...

10ft by 8ft is not a box room!. Our box room is 5ft by 6ft. I shave a specially sourced narrow single adult bed in there, elfa shelving on a wall with shelves and clothes rail. A small narrow chest of drawers and a tiny fold up table that doubles as a bedside table and desk with fold up chair hanging on the wall. It is ok for an adult guest room for a few days. The room you describe is the size of DSs bedroom. Our bedroom is only about 12ft by 9ft

10ft by 8ft can fit a small double, wardrobe and a desk. Not a box room! Agree with other posters that sharers should get bigger room, and then size determined by age.

Just tell her that what’s happening-if you want your own room-that’s the choice or if you want to stay in the big room, you can share with the 5yr old! Might make her shut up and stop tantrumming!

Erm. Where does the 19yo sone sleep?

Or did I miss it?

The 19 year old is moving out, that’s why there’s now another room spare.

10ft by 8ft is not a box room it's a perfectly normal sized bedroom. It's simple she moves into the smaller room or shared with her 5yo sister. I know which I'd choose at 14.

The 'box' room sounds an okay size. Would your 17 year old be happy to have that room and let the 14 year old have the room that the 17 year old is currently going to have. Just because the -7 year old used to have that room doesn't mean they should automatically get it back. I agree the ones that share need the biggest room. At their ages they will have lots of bigger toys, I presume the older ones spend more time on phones/iPads which don't take up much room.

17 not -7 🙄

Not unreasonable at all. Take time to sit her down and make her think about how selfish it would be for her to have such a big room to herself when her two little sisters are sharing a much smaller room. She probably already knows this but when you're 14 it can be all "me me me". You make the rules remember!

If the 17 year old is likely to go to university next September I would actually put her in the box room, the little ones should have the biggest room to share because they will be there the longest

Largest room - 2 younger DC
Second largest room - You
Next room - 17yo DC
box room Smallest room - 14yo for her entitled, bratty behaviour.

I don't think that's the issue. Middle child syndrome. Older sister gets the bigger room by default. Younger ones are happy sharing. She ends up with the box room.
I am not saying you are wrong but that's the issue. Can you agree that the will swap in a year?

Just seen the size of the room. Scrap that!
Have you agreed what happens if 19 year old comes back?

The younger dc should have the bigger room as they will need the space to play etc. However 14 year old girls also need their space. They typically spend lots of time in their room alone or with friends so I don't think she should have the box room.

Honestly and I don't expect this to be a popular opinion but I think you should take the box room. You are likely to be the one who spends the least time in their bedroom using it just for dressing and sleep.

That’s a decent size room. She’s being spoilt. You’re settled in your room, sharers in the big room, eldest gets the big room. If your 14 year old isn’t happy sharing, she should be thrilled to move into her own space.

It’s a tricky age, and she’s pushing back for the sake of it. Stand firm, do the move and she’ll be happy before you know it.

Has the 19yo permanently moved out or just gone to uni?

Not all children go to uni so no guarantee 17yo will be leaving anytime soon, also some young adults come back home after uni.

Deck it out with cushions, chiffony curtains and fairy lights like the inside of a gypsy caravan

She’s 14, not 6!