To not give my 14yr old the biggest bedroom in the house?

[sashamichele]

I'm a single mum to 4 girls 17,14,5,2 and a son 19. We live in a 4 bedroom house.
The bedrooms are all different sizes there's a box room which will fit a single bed, bedside table and a chest of drawers or a desk.
The next size room is bigger but but an awkward shape but would fit a small double bed, desk and drawers.
The next one is on the other side of the house and is a good size and is mine, theres a king size bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers and a tall skinny bookshelf and bedside table.
Then the 4th is the biggest but not overly massive but the biggest of the 4.
At the minute DD's 14 and 17 share a room and DD's 5 and 2 but now there box room is going spare DD's 14/17 want there own rooms which is understandable so we're swapping round rooms. Dd 17 is going into the second room which atm DD's 5&2 share. So that leaves dd14 in the biggest room of the house and she wants to stay put and let the two little some go into the box room with a bunk bed.
Aibu to tell her that the little ones need the biggest room as they share? She's kicking off about it.

Yanbu. She can choose her own bedroom when she pays the bills.... maybe you could discuss some clever storage ideas for the box room to give her as much space as the room can afford?

Of course YANBU. Have you explained to her how selfish that idea is?

Aibu to tell her that the little ones need the biggest room as they share?

Of course YANBU.
It's her 14-year old brain pattern kicking in, complete with reduced empathy & increased self-importance.
She'll get over it, but meantime, she is allowed a choice:
box room on her own, or sharing the bigger room with a sibling.

I agree, your house, you choose. The little ones need room to spread out their toys and there are two of them.

Of course the younger ones should have the big room. They've still got toys and need the floor space. I wouldn't enter into any negotiation. Just tell her that's the way it's going to be.

Erm...why are you giving her a choice?
Your house, your money, your rules.
Do not enter into bargaining with a teenage girl.

Actually as you are the adult YOU should get the biggest room in the house. The two younger girls get your room and the 14 yo gets the box room

Bigger room for sharers, if she wants the big room ask her which of her sisters she wants to share with!

Not to mention that little ones generally play in their rooms on the floor with toys etc, whereas teens tend to lounge on their bed on their phones so don't need as much floor space. I guess she might want friends to stay etc, in which case they can sleep downstairs - that's what my DCs have to do if they want a friend to stay.

My DCs have taken turns with the box room over the years. Currently DS 14 has it and we've managed to fit a small double bed (4ft) and some well chosen furniture to make the most of the space, such as a wardrobe with a sliding door so it doesn't open outwards etc. Would you be able to sweeten the deal with some new furniture/bedding etc?

Messolini has it, I think! Give her the choice between a room to herself or sharing with the five year old... If she doesn't like it, or if she kicks off? Tough. You're the head of the family and you make the ultimate decisions

Just move her stuff into the box room when she is at school

As others have said, just tell her the two younger ones will be having the biggest room and that’s that. You can do some wonderful things in box rooms to make it pretty, so as a compromise perhaps look online how you can make the box room a little nicer and make the most of the space.

Bigger room for sharers, if she wants the big room ask her which of her sisters she wants to share with!

Agreed. When I was younger I happily moved out of the big room I shared with my little sister into a smaller room, so my youngest sister could share with other sister in the largest room. All I wanted was the room to myself!

Thank you all I know I'm not being unreasonable I just want peoples opinions so I can show her Just move her stuff into the box room when she is at school
I've threatened this I've told her that if she doesn't move willingly then I'll just do it while she's at school.

Actually as you are the adult YOU should get the biggest room in the house. The two younger girls get your room and the 14 yo gets the box room
Actually I don't like the biggest room, I've recently decorated my room and it's all nice and cosy plus it's on the other side of the house so I'm away from them all

Biggest room for sharers is absolutely fair.

However, why does the 17 year old automatically get the bigger room and the 14 year old the box room? Was it decided in a fair way (i.e. not just assumed because 17 year old is older?)

We have the biggest room to our two girls so it was their playroom, too, but it was very big! And our room was plenty big enough with beautiful views in two directions. Two little girls in a boxroom? No way!

Your 14yo needs to wind her neck in. She can have the best room when she's paying the rent/mortgage.

Um, I can hear my mother. She's saying. . . what is it Mother? Oh yes. You will do as you are told. . .

YANBU

FWIW I would go biggest room for the sharers, you in your room. Then I think the box room should go to the eldest reason being soon enough (if not already) they will be out alot more becoming independent, so at home less often etc where as the younger will need space for homework and will be living under your roof for longer.

Could the 14 yr old have one of those high up beds with a sofa or desk underneath to make best use of the box room space. Deck it out with cushions, chiffony curtains and fairy lights like the inside of a gypsy caravan, or some other theme that makes a small space cosy.

The 17 year old on the box room 14 in the next room and the little 2 in the biggest room 17 year old as they will be off to uni soon

Agree with the sharers having the biggest room. My two share and are in the significantly larger master bedroom. It keeps the bulk of the toys upstairs and they both play up there too. The increased floor space is better for them than DH and I.

@SleepingStandingUp sorry I made it sound like I live in a mansion lol it's just that at the top of the stairs you can go left or right, left is where the extension is and where my bedroom is, to the right is the original 3 bedrooms which I call "the kids wing" lol in reality it's 5 feet away