To still be unhappy with school’s response?

[Whatisthisfuckery]

Ok, some of you might have read two previous threads on this matter. They’ve both been taken down now because of ongoing police investigations, so I can’t go into too much detail.

Anyway in a nutshell DS was attacked by a kid with a metal chain on the way home from school two days in a row last week. The boy was in uniform and as it was directly on the way home, had been carrying the weapon during school. There have also been other incidents that have taken place out of school, the most recent of which was an assault and attempted bike theft that involved metal chain boy plus other boys who go to the school. Other elements of this violence have leaked into school from the other boys too.

Metal chain boy has now been identified and excluded for three days. School are supposed to be liaising with the police over the identities of the boys as part of their investigations into the above incidents. They’re also supposed to be looking at CCTV for visual evidence of the boy having the chain. Last week they were looking at the wrong day, so yesterday I corrected them although they’d already been told. They said they’d follow it up but I’ve heard nowt.

I kept DS off yesterday because he’s terrified to walk alone. HOY called yesterday afternoon just as I was on the way out to the police station so I didn’t have time to quiz him but he said to send DS in this morning because they have a plan to keep him safe.

Anyway DS went in this morning. HOY wasn’t there to meet him as promised so the y7 mentor met him instead. Basically the plan is to keep DS in the library during break and lunch, let him move from lesson to lesson 5 minutes early and let him go home 5 minutes early.

For a start this doesn’t sound fair. Why should DS have his movements curtailed because of the bad behaviour of others? It also singles him out massively and impacts on his lesson time. School have given me no Indication of how long this is expected to go on for, in fact they’ve not contacted me at all. I’ve emailed HOY, head of safeguarding and head of behaviour this morning and had no response; I’ve called this afternoon and been unable to speak to anyone, and the receptionist said she’d pass a note over to get them to call back but nobody has.

So I’ve had no update on CCTV so I don’t even know if they’re doing what they said they would; I’ve had no word on what if any contact they’ve had with the police; and I’ve had no contact about how long DS will be effectively isolated from the rest of his peers.

I’m apoplectic, I’ve had to chase them continually and they’re still not communicating with me. AIBU to say they’re completely inept? On Sunday evening I was told by head of safeguarding that a meeting would be arranged to discuss al this, no such meeting has been arranged. What else can I do to get the school to communicate with me?

My god this sounds horrendous and hope your DS is ok.

What contact have you had directly with the police on this? I'm concerned that if the only contact with the police is the school, that they'll be desperately trying to minimise this/let it peter out somehow.

Their whole strategy could be "let's see if this will blow over; if we keep DS away from them, it will all stop and everyone will move on".

Which is patently ridiculous but it's my first thought...are you able to be in touch with the police?

Also, what would be your preferred and ideal outcome here?

I would email and say my son won’t be returning until we have had a meeting and discussed plans to keep your ds son safe. Plans that do not negatively impact on his education and socialising time.

I would not be happy with this response either, I would also be really angry.
I have had lots of dealings with school over bullying but nothing as serious and physical as this. Our school are actually really fast at responding to parent concerns, it's a massive state school so if they can do it there's no reason why your school can't. They are just being shit, or avoiding you because they haven't a clue what to do

Is the boy only attacking your son or others too?

I would be looking for a face to face meeting with HOY. Have you asked for that? You almost want to turn up at the office and refuse to move till he meets you but that seems a bit aggressive.

I am sorry your family are having to deal with this, it sounds really frightening.

If they don’t know the identities of the other two students I’m not sure how else the school will ensure they are kept apart.

I would be fuming and no way agreeing to DS having to miss his lunch breaks and leaving lessons etc early.

I haven’t seen your other threads so apologies if this has been covere already but why aren’t you changing his school if he’s getting attacked, scared to go in and the school are trying to minimise and cover up what’s happened

@hormonesorDHbeingadick

Yes that's true, but my word they're not exactly trying to find out either.

They're obfuscating and delaying, in the usual British customer service tactic of "if the delay is too long, then they'll lose interest and it will somehow subside and the heat taken out of it" etc.

They are probably panicking about reputation and optics.

OP kudos to you, keep applying the pressure - they need to be able to name and identify these children.

i could see this coming tbh and i think the police will drop the matter and say its a school responsibility even though your boy was attacked outside

schools do shit about bullying and majority of heads cover up any incidences(our experience a head covered up a teachers bullying to my then 10 y old in y5)

is there a option about moving him?hes only just started y 7(if i remember right) so i wouldnt be happy about being there for years to come knowing they dont care and this is their outcome on a victim

i bet the boy will be back in 4 days and the slate wiped clean

Agree with you. Why should your son be the one isolated. I agree about moving school.

Can you change school and keep your ds at home until then?

Because that school is absolutely horrendous

This is the second time I have heard of the victim being the one whose behaviour / routine has to change, rather than the kid causing the problem. I have no ideas why schools allow this to be the case. It's so wrong. I think you need to be as much of a thorn in their side as the parents of the bully. School needs to stand up to them when they start whinging about impact on their child. I swear schools take path of least resistance / easiest option.

Change schools. But cause a stink about their crappy support of your child too.

@StillSurviving

Amen to this - the school want the parent of the bullied DC to go away, because that's the easiest option.

Usually the parents of the bullying DCs are equally as likely to get in the school's face and start shouting the odds about their child; it's all hassle the school doesn't want.

The hope is that the parent(s) of the bullied DC get disheartened, concerned about their child, then move their child out, problem disappears.

OP if you have the strength and ability to do this, I'd stay right onto the school.

Like you said, get them to show the right CCTV. Get them to show evidence they've actually worked with the police.

I would also looking into whether it's possible to change schools.

Life's too short for your DS to be having his education disrupted like this. Although I can't see a realistic alternative for the school to keep him safe, not saying it's right but what else can they practically do?

I'd keep making a fuss, they may be hoping you'll go away if they drag their heels about addressing the problem.

I would insist on seeing a copy of the school's formal complaints policy and escalate a complaint to the HOY, school head, school governors and the local authority - and keep using the words "safeguarding".

If they do not email you a copy of the policy by return, then go down to the school and refuse to budge from Reception until you get one.

I would also insist on a face to face meeting with both HOY and school head. Keep phoning - every hour if you have to - until this has been agreed. Take with you to the meeting a set of actions you want to happen and refuse to leave the meeting until you are happy with the actions, and have an accountable person named for each action.

Unfortunately it sounds as though the school isn't keen to do anything except isolate your child. You can either ramp it up by involving absolutely everyone in a formal complaint, or start looking for another school.

In the meantime, are you in a position to keep your child at home until you have an outcome you are happy with? No way would I be sending my child to a school that allows this kind of crap.

From a purely logistical pov it is far easier to keep your ds safe by keeping him in the library than letting him outside. Especially if there are still unidentified students who have had a part in the bullying. I know it seems unfair but the school cannot isolate a whole year group just in case.

The same with the 5 minute early pass, what else would you like school to do? This is a well known solution in our school to students who have difficulties on corridors for a variety of reasons.

I understand you feel like your son is being singled out but right now this is necessary to keep him safe.

The schools contact hasn't been brilliant. However they may have nothing to tell you. If they can't see anything on the cctv and haven't heard from the police yet, there's not a lot they can do. I know for you it feels like a lifetime but it's been less than 2 working days since your last contact.

The meeting should be arranged, but be aware they may not have all the answers yet. Also bear in mind this is probably not the only incident the HOY is dealing with. Ours deal with multiple incidents per day (not all this serious) along with safeguarding meetings, and a whole heap of other stuff.

You can try phoning again or emailing to see if there are any updates.

Regardless of the school inquiry, it does not sound like your son is safe at this place. The school response may be woeful, but if your son is not able to be safely educated then it is time to find another school. You could look into local availability of places, or even home school. This does not stop you putting in a formal complaint about the school to the relevant agency like Ofsted.or the Local Authority safeguarding team.

Have you contacted the Head of the Governors... Threaten to go to the newspapers???

Iirc the ds was also attacked in the street and is now scared to walk out alone so moving school may not resolve the problem. You will not be made aware of any safeguarding action regarding other children but agree it should not be a compromise of your ds education that is the solution, in short or long term. The communication has been poor and you need to escalate this to head and governors if nothing positive happens by tomorrow.

In all my dealings with school I've gone in with a plan of my minimum expectations but immediately hit them with my ideals and worked down to what I wanted in the first place.

What would you expect as a minimum? Personally I would go in stating you expect the boy in question, and his minions, to be excluded from all your son's classes as to minimise your son's exposure to this continuous harassment he's had on the premesis, to keep him and his mental health safe and to avoid his education being directly impacted as a result of the others intimidation they've failed to protect him from. I'd expect the other boy and his minions to be the ones leave lessons early as a direct consequence of their actions and actually I'd firstly insist they be accompanied by a member of staff (but I'd work down from there a little). I'd insist they be kept in school grounds during any scheduled breaks as a consequence of their antisocial, physical and mental harassment of another student with a weapon that could potentially be deadly, to protect not only your son but other students they will no doubt target next time. I'd then insist the other student is picked up and dropped off by an adult and checked for weapons when entering school grounds, they cannot minimise that this thug has the potential to seriously harm another student and it's their responsibility to protect their students, I'd be waiting at reception first thing until you can be seen.

Some points may seem a little but you have to go in insisting they do their part to protect their students. It's the absolute minimum they should be doing and obviously failing. Turn each point into something they can't argue with and don't get emotional as hard as that will be. Good luck!

They are appalling, follow their procedures to the letter! Is their a board of governors or some other team in charge? Complain to them and the on to Ofsted.

They are failing all the DC with such shoddy policies.

Of course that is unacceptable. You'll have a gang of teachers soon saying they've done their bit though.

I'd be furious, he'll miss every piece of homework, he'll have no solidarity with his peers.
What have the police said, have they visited his home?

I’m so sorry, it must be horrid. Could you email a list of all the things that you’ve been promised and ask for a date and time this will happen within a time limit, then say that if this is not delivered within that time limit, they have given you no choice but to take it higher, initially to governors and then to ofsted as they are failing your son and also it is now part of criminal proceedings.

Get everything in writing with time limits so no wriggle room and you can go back to them or any outside agency with how they’ve not adhered to what they’ve promised.

Hi OP is it worth contacting the local education authority, your local MP and Ofsted - I would write a very strongly worded letter and copy in as many professionals as possible. You have a local safegaurding team usually via your local council, is there a school governor too. You can call them.
If you got assaulted at work the police would be called and it’s a crime. The person who committed the assault must be excluded.
They sound out of their depth.
I’d raise holy bloody hell.