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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never go in my little girls room again!?

348 replies

FedUp1850 · 24/09/2019 00:22

Soooooooo Aragog is residing in my little girls bedroom. He is massive. I just can't go in there. He's been in there for days, I shut the door and put a blanket down at the bottom to hopefully keep it in there.

I'm petrified of spiders. My mum said that her mum put one right up in her face when she was a kid, thinking about it almost sent me into cardiac arrest 😅. Someone help me overcome this irrational fear!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Ratherberightthanhappy · 25/09/2019 23:38

The other day I slid my hand down the side of the sofa cushion to look for the remote control. No remote, but I felt a round squishy sweet the size and texture of a big ripe blueberry and pulled it out thinking my DD had dropped it. Sweet mother of God it was only a massive fat-bodied beastly SPIDER 🕷🕷🕷 😱😱😱

Clairegb78 · 25/09/2019 23:42

Omg! I'm ok with lil one's can pick them up with tissue but the big CF ones,either suck them up the hoover if so is not about or get him to pick them up and remove outside. I dislike spiders they scare the shit out of me so I feel your pain.
A few years ago I'd had a shower and needed the loo,as I sat down the most humongous spider came crawling across the bathroom floor. Screamed for other half, sat on loo with just a towel on me and frozen with fear,he comes in laughing while I'm literally crying my eyes out and calls his bloody nephew to come and see the size of the spider. No sympathy for me at time or taking into account on the bloody loo with just a towel covering me. Screaming at him to get the CF thing😱.
Every night I have a ritual I check every room,plus I use peppermint oil in spray bottle and use it in every room, spray it round doors and windows ,in corners of rooms as supposedly spiders detest the smell.

Good luck,hope you manage to get someone to remove it or pluck up the courage to suck it up the hoover🤗🤗

Katzia · 25/09/2019 23:48

It's a spider, FFS. If you are in UK, most of them do no harm. Just go in there and either kill it or remove it. Do you really want to pass your irrational fears onto your daughter!

Clairegb78 · 25/09/2019 23:50

Dp sorry for mistype! As about to go to bed low and behold 🕷️ in the bathroom😱 biggish one but can't wake him , he got to be up at 6am,kids fast asleep. Got to pluck up the courage and squish it with tissue😭I want to cry.

SophieGiroux · 26/09/2019 00:08

I've just seen a video on Facebook of a toddler in an empty bath wearing a nappy having a huge house spider crawl all over him and he's playing with it! Shock

Owlsintowels · 26/09/2019 00:11

Two stories, will add a picture for the second one if requested.

I was once home alone with a monster spider. After trying to ignore it for hours then getting more and more terrified as it scuttled across the living room floor I finally braved the journey into kitchen and grabbed a spray of foaming kitchen cleaner. I must have sprayed at least 20 squirts onto the hairy beast before it stopped moving and fell down. Then suddenly it rose up and started staggering along like a small foamy snowman.
I then dropped an argos catalogue on it which finished it off

Second story - I found a huge dead spider floating in my glass of water the other morning.
I hadn't put my glasses on yet but vaguely thought it looked like a tomato stalk.
My toddler picked up my glass, had a sip, then told me there was a spider in it. I'm so glad he had the first gulp and not me, I'd have definitely swallowed.

gymraes · 26/09/2019 01:58

Sorry OP but I'm with GladAllover and others who don't agree with killing. I sympathise, I understand irrational fear-I was petrified of mice: as a v small child, witnessed DM's absolute terror/hysteria when a field mouse got into our house. However I would never have one killed (& I've had them twice in this old house, humanely caught & released). Please don't let your child 'learn' your fear. A friend's DD was 'cured' when at a children's zoo, held a tarantula. I think watching even younger kids handle it made her braver and the size of the thing made it appear more like a pet!!

chrisie16 · 26/09/2019 02:43

I use Extra Firm Hold hairspray. It's the very thing. I don't use hairspray for myself, but this stuff works a treat on spiders. They go really stiff .... :)

Weezol · 26/09/2019 03:49

I used to be summoned by my 6'5 semi-pro rugby playing neighbour to deal with spiders. His reaction was properly phobic - bloodless face, shaking, shallow breathing, pouring with sweat.

It's fish with me. Freaky, finny spooky bastards.

BertrandRussell · 26/09/2019 05:02

If you can get close enough to spray them with hair spray or kitchen cleaner then you’re just scared, not phobic and you can put a glass over them rather than torturing them.

speakout · 26/09/2019 06:56

If you can get close enough to spray them with hair spray or kitchen cleaner then you’re just scared, not phobic and you can put a glass over them rather than torturing them.

I agree 100%.

Treeli · 26/09/2019 06:57

Urgh, do we really need the graphic descriptions of pouring chemicals over spiders?!

If someone came on here and said they hated slugs so dumped a load of salt on one there would be murders.

You can do something about your phobia. Why on earth would you rather spend the rest of your life terrified than just fix it?

speakout · 26/09/2019 07:02

If someone was phobic about bees- or birds would that be a good reason for spraying with hairspray or killing them?

Spiders are part of our ecosystem. We have reached a sad state when we can't live alongside other animals who share our space- and were there first!

Wafflecopter · 26/09/2019 07:49

My DH has killed spiders for me in the past with a mop - aim and jab.
I once tried to do the same thing when I needed to wee and one very large one was sat next to the loo, I put a bloody hole in the plasterboard and the spider scuttled away and still hadn’t died.
After paying for a repair the next day, and having a good hard look at myself in the mirror, we moved.
Weirdly, since having DD I’m much braver and whilst I can’t bare to go close enough to remove them myself, I will wait until she’s out of sight and use the cordless Dyson to suck the bugger up.

Owlsintowels · 26/09/2019 08:34

I can't disagree about spraying with chemicals. It was many years ago and I'd try to catch and release these days.
Since having children I've forced myself to confront my spider fears and I can now pick up small/medium ones, or could probably manage a giant one in a big tupperware

I'm insect friendly in all other areas, I am just a bit too scared if spiders to be rational all the time

mydogisthebest · 26/09/2019 09:08

Posters saying "it's only a spider" and "it won't hurt you" are not being helpful in the slightest.

We all know UK spiders won't hurt us but it doesn't stop some of us being terrified of them. Do you understand phobias at all?

My DH can catch spiders with a glass but is scared of snakes. Doesn't even like seeing them on tv. I quite like snakes and have held a couple.

A friend is scared of birds. I don't tell her that a bird won't hurt her. I sympathise especially as she sees birds far more often than I see spiders.

I can't look at a picture of one or one on the tv. I can't even stay in the same room as one or usually on the same floor. I shake, cry, feel sick and sometimes am actually sick.

I have thought about having therapy but firstly I can't afford it and secondly I know 2 people that have had it and it hasn't worked.

BertrandRussell · 26/09/2019 09:15

Yes, I understand about phobias. Which is why I know that some of the posters on here don’t have one.

Treeli · 26/09/2019 09:38

I also understand phobias and that they are very treatable. If a picture of a spider leaves you trembling and shaking on the floor you really should seek treatment.

GladAllOver · 26/09/2019 09:38

I have thought about having therapy but firstly I can't afford it and secondly I know 2 people that have had it and it hasn't worked.
There are several types of therapy, and some are better for individuals.
My friend was referred by her GP and treated free on the NHS.

sjonlegs · 26/09/2019 10:00

Would it be too harsh to just say 'GET A GRIP' ... I sympathise and all that but ... life's too short. By all means drink the vodka!

Nanamilly · 26/09/2019 10:21

Yes, I understand about phobias. Which is why I know that some of the posters on here don’t have one

I agree.

There's a vast difference between being wary of something or finding it unpleasant and having a genuine phobia.

I suspect most of the posters here don't have a genuine phobia.

shirleybanister · 26/09/2019 10:41

Capture it in an empty glass jar. Slide a piece of stiff card under. Take the spider outside. Release the spider. Easy Peasy!

Alicenwonderland · 26/09/2019 11:04

I was a severe arachnophobic and as a single Mum with two young boys I really struggled. Eventually I was able to cover them with a bowl, slide paper under followed by card and I would then pick it up and throw it out of the window/door. I also would invite random postmen/delivery drivers ect to get them for me! This did actually work although awkward at times 🥴
No I can hoover them up. I'm much better now although I'm still scared. Sadly I passed it in to my sons who are much worse than me.

mydogisthebest · 26/09/2019 11:45

@sjonlegs another unhelpful post. You obviously don't sympathise by saying "get a grip". The OP obviously does have a true phobia.

@shirleybanister and yet another one. If the OP cannot go into the room with the spider how the hell can she capture it in a glass?

As I have said (it now seems endless times). I CANNOT STAY IN THE SAME ROOM WITH A SPIDER! Usually if it is downstairs I have to go upstairs or even outside. If it is upstairs I go down.

No way on earth could I get close enough to put a glass on it. I cannot use a spider catcher or hoover it up or any of the other unhelpful tips. Even if someone offered me money to do it I could not.

mary1066 · 26/09/2019 11:53

I have exactly the same phobia with snakes or anything that moves the same. Fortunately, snakes are a rarity but spiders are everywhere. I'm constantly getting rid of them in any way I can bar handling them. You have a serious phobia with spiders and if I had such a problem, I'd book myself for a course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) to try to sort it out once and for all because I couldn't go through my life with this awful phobia. I'd see my GP to see if I can get this therapy on the NHS and if not, I'd go private. Such phobias are so awful to live with. Best of luck