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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not tip when eating out?

439 replies

JemimaPuddleDucksPuddle · 22/09/2019 22:48

Saw a thread on another board that mentioned tipping when eating out and whether or not you should. The majority of posters seemed to think of a person as being tight fisted or ungenerous if they don't tip. I disagree and don't tip as a matter of routine, only if the service is exceptional. AIBU?

OP posts:
Sobeyondthehills · 23/09/2019 01:48

Yes. Why don’t you just own being cheap instead of trying to justify it? I bet you don’t pay the ‘suggested donation’ at museums that are free entry either.

I don't tip, but I will pay the suggested donation they are two very different things.

ilovesooty · 23/09/2019 02:07

A few years ago I went out for a pub meal with my sister. We were served by a waitress who I imagine was only about 18-20 so not on adult minimum wage. My sister sent her steak back three times as it wasn't cooked to her liking and the waitress was friendly and courteous throughout. The service was exceptional but at the end when we were settling the bill she refused to tip saying no one tipped her to do her job. I put her share of the tip in myself and cringed. Whether tipping is outdated or not it felt graceless.

wurlycurly · 23/09/2019 02:19

I think the argument of “I don’t get tipped so I’m not tipping” is a bit mean. I worked in retail for many years on less than living wage (but above minimum wage) and would never not tip. Wait staff are often paid minimum wage. It’s not a living wage. Tips are usually shared between FOH and kitchen. None of these people are getting rich quick. There are some quite angry people on this thread! Fair enough, don’t tip but take your anger home and bottle it up for a decent fight!

LiveInAHidingPlace · 23/09/2019 02:25

If I'm in a big group, definitely, because it's so hard for staff to deal with groups and in no way comparable to buying shoes or whatever.

If it's just two or three of us, I'll just round it up or leave a couple of pounds.

I never tip hairdressers though as they generally set their own prices.

Waiters get way worse treatment than shop assistants generally and have to spend more time catering to people so it makes sense to tip them.

Sobeyondthehills · 23/09/2019 02:31

I think the argument of “I don’t get tipped so I’m not tipping” is a bit mean. I worked in retail for many years on less than living wage (but above minimum wage) and would never not tip. Wait staff are often paid minimum wage. It’s not a living wage. Tips are usually shared between FOH and kitchen. None of these people are getting rich quick. There are some quite angry people on this thread! Fair enough, don’t tip but take your anger home and bottle it up for a decent fight!

My argument for this is why wouldn't you tip the staff in waterstones, when you have gone in and said I have seen a book it has a red cover and it was on advert at 11.32 this morning and then they find it?

What is so different from bringing you your food to finding a book that you have been looking for?

You say tips are shared, but retail staff get to share no tips between all of them.

Also when I left they were starting to cut everything, so retail staff, were expected to do their job, plus the cleaning (cause the company sacked all their cleaners) plus security (cause companies had cut security) plus aduits (cause companies had cut the audit staff in half)

I honestly don't understand the mentality that waiting staff somehow deserve a tip but someone like a waterstone staff doesn't

Adversecamber22 · 23/09/2019 02:40

Both DH and I when students worked in restaurants and I also worked as a chambermaid when in the sixth form, there was no minimum wage then so appalling rates. It’s hard work and as much as there is a minimum wage these days if we get good service we always tip 10% and sometimes more. I remember what it was like being hard up as I grew up in very trying circumstances as a child. DH and I have done well and I would feel terrible not tipping. The only time we don’t is if service is really bad.

MoonageDaydreamz · 23/09/2019 03:52

I tip because it is the convention and because most of the places I go to have already added the tip and it would be too cringeworthy to have it removed.

To be honest I don't really give it much thought, maybe we shouldn't these days but I guess it depends on personality, and I would feel rubbish sloping out of a restaurant without tipping. But others may not feel embarrassment about that so fair enough.

I tip the hairdresser for the same reason, she comes to my house, which is big/nice enough for her to see I can afford to tip... Plus I think she's quite reasonably priced so I don't mind.

19lottie82 · 23/09/2019 04:51

I always tip as I used to work in bars and restaurants and know how hard it can be / how much a tip is appreciated.

Aramox · 23/09/2019 05:09

I’ve never in my life not tipped (10%) or known anyone else to. I’d find it shockingly mean- it’s been a social convention all my life. I’m 50 and live in a big city- has it changed?

LellyMcKelly · 23/09/2019 05:27

@NancyDrawn, surely you are already paying for your meal

readingismycardio · 23/09/2019 05:28

I used to tip EVERY SINGLE TIME (not in the UK, admittedly). But: waiters, hairdresser, etc. Then I realised I spend a lot on tips. Now I only tip for exceptional service.

LellyMcKelly · 23/09/2019 05:30

I used to tip years ago, but don’t anymore. The minimum wage meant that staff were no longer reliant on tips to make ends meet.

Pinkyyy · 23/09/2019 05:33

I only ever round up the bill and leave what's left over. For example if the bill is £77.50, I'll give them £80 and not wait for the change.

I also don't see the point tipping in the UK. We don't tip retail workers or any other minimum wage jobs. And to be honest it's very rare to receive exceptional service, unless you're in a very expensive restaurant.

SimonJT · 23/09/2019 05:34

I was a waiter from the ages of 17-22, in that time I didn’t work anywhere that allowed staff to keep their tips, of course when customers asked if we kept the tip we had to lie and say yes, or say no and risk getting fired if anyone found out.

So no, I rarely tip as I know in many restaurants it goes straight to the manager.

Rubyupbeat · 23/09/2019 05:36

No, not mugs at all. I will always tip on a service if it's been good. So what if they get minimum wage. At least tips help them above that and make life a bit easier.
I wont pay the service charge on a meal, I get it taken off and I always ask if the waiter/ress gets the tip, if not I wont tip, unless it's a small family restaurant.
Yes, I do think those that dont tip are extremely tight.

Shoxfordian · 23/09/2019 05:42

Yes we always leave a tip in a restaurant
I wouldn't date someone who didn't tip

Ragwort · 23/09/2019 05:43

There is great skill to serving customers well and sadly you don’t always get it, It’s not just delivering a two courses and a glass of wine to your table Hmm but I honestly think some people don’t recognise or appreciate what good customer service is.
I will always tip if I get good service.

PositiveVibez · 23/09/2019 05:44

Wow. The non-tippers posts come across as rather aggressive!

HeronLanyon · 23/09/2019 05:48

I tip routinely (uk) other than where service has been bad (actually bad).

I’ve waitressed in my deep past (loved it) - it’s knackering hard work and underpaid and often exploited (tips too, often).

Non tipping (unless a good reason) and rudeness to waiters are for me hard to accept in anyone I eat out with.

HeronLanyon · 23/09/2019 05:51

Mind you - Love it when American relatives suggest leaving a note on a pub table (no eating just drinking kind) and walking away - imagine!
Grin

peachdreams · 23/09/2019 06:03

I work in a nightclub, the majority of the staff working where I work earn under £7ph as they are 18, it’s not a great amount of pay.
The tips they receive are split between the staff on that area and for a few of them the extra money helps afford food- even a tip as little as £1 helps.
I don’t expect anyone to tip when they purchase a drink or some food, but I am grateful when they do.
I don’t always tip so I can’t preach that anyone is being unreasonable, however I’d like to point out that it is massively appreciated when people do.

Bodicea · 23/09/2019 06:21

I don’t like tipping waiting staff for the reasons mentioned above. But do due to peer pressure a lot as don’t want people to think am tight. It seems to have increased more since NMW which is ridiculous but I think it is because of American culture permeating which is madness as they have a totally different setup. It bugs me as I worked for a long time in care homes which is back breaking work and no tips there.

However I do like to tip my hairdresser on occasion as I think it is a real skill which is underpaid. They deserve more than NMW. I only do it if I feel they have made an effort and not rushed though it or palmed me off onto someone else to blow dry or something.

Snog · 23/09/2019 06:30

I think it's mean not to tip in a restaurant and I don't go out with friends or relatives who don't tip.
I definitely wouldn't date anyone who didn't tip either.

Ricekrispie22 · 23/09/2019 06:33

I hope it becomes the norm not to tip, and only do so in exceptional circumstances. It will push restaurants and waiting staff to up their game and go the extra mile, rather than chivvy us out because they want an extra sitting from our table.

coffeeandgin26 · 23/09/2019 06:36

We don't tip. My husband only earns minimum wage himself so eating out is a rare treat for us, and if we tipped people who are getting paid the same amount of money/more than him it would be even less often