To hate my single life?

[namedownforit]

Would desperately like to meet someone and can't. Just a moan, I'm so very unhappy.

I am missing companionship, support, everything really.

Why do you think you haven't met anyone OP? Was there ever a point where you could have "settled" but didn't? That sort of thing? It may be helpful to think back over what the common factor, if any, is. That is, if you're still looking for a relationship going forward

I think it was that my late teens and most of my twenties were a car crash - by the time things settled I was very used to being alone.

I am missing companionship, support, everything really.

What is it that you’re missing that you couldn’t get from friendship?

Bop, well sex for one thing, but beyond that, your friends don’t usually move in with you, sleep with you, travel with you, spend weekends with you, Friday nights, Sunday mornings, country walks, yes OK it’s idealistic but so is claiming that friends will replace a partner.

I understand how you feel, I have a husband, but miss companionship of friends and dont have family I am in contact with, so I feel very lonely for social relationships. I would love a group of great female friends.

@namedownforit Have you considered counselling to address why you’ve not had a long term relationship? It may help you to address some of the barriers that are stopping you.

I'm sorry to hear you had a hard time - young adulthood is a nasty age to have anything go drastically wrong. Sometimes we don't realise how well we mask our insecurities too. It's something I've had to work on myself, for different reasons. I'm often told that I appear strong, even hard and cynical, when I am, in fact, a natural people pleaser who hates any sort of confrontation. I second the idea of an introduction agency, I have colleagues who have used them with much success

I think I know, to be honest! What I can’t do is do anything about it. And now I think I am just too old.

OP, I sympathise. It’s no good people here telling you how good their single lives are no matter how well intentioned because you want a partner and there is nothing wrong with that.

But to try and see the positives because when you do meet someone you like you want to be a happy confident person not miserable and needy (not saying that you are!)

I didn’t want to presume that you were / wanting to be sexual. My DSIL is 39 and always been single and is a virgin.

@bonitakitlee I would really, really recommend you go out there and make friends if you can. I get so much from my female friends.

Have you ever had a relationship?

No, packet

Do you go on dates or out with friends? Do you have opportunities to meet prospective partners? I'm sorry that you're so lonely.

Not really, now white

I used to have quite a good social life but for various reasons it’s tapered off to just about nothing.

I can sympathise with you Op except I'm 28 and never been in a serious relationship. All my friends are married with children, settled down. Then there is me who is the forever singleton. Everyone says you have to love yourself first and I do. But it still isnt happening.
I've just come to the realisation that I was born to be single and I'm going to enjoy my life as a single female!

Sorry for such a personal question, but have you ever in fact had sex? I know someone who did not lose their virginity until they were in their forties. They had a real mental block over sex, and consequently relationships, it became very ingrained and they were set in their ways, and it did require therapy to overcome. They made it eventually though

I am the same so I sympathise op. It’s very lonely. I have had a relationship but Only one and I’m a single parent now. But I find it desperately lonely and can’t even meet anyone as I don’t have any help with my children. I don’t see why people need to come on a post about how much they love being single, great if you do but it’s ok not to want to be single.

I have no issues around sex. I don’t personally enjoy ons - no judgement just not for me. So outside of a relationship I don’t get to have sex.

You aren't too old, and ignore the "you just need to be happy on your own." You need to not just throw yourself at someone because you are feeling so miserable and lonely, sure, but it's also ok to realise that there is something in your life you need to change. It's ok to want to find a partner, that's pretty much what we are on this planet to do. It's a natural urge to not want to be alone. I'm not saying just shack up with anybody, but get out there and get Dating. Date people you fancy and people you're not sure about. Date people who make you laugh, people who make you think, people who are a bit younger or a bit older, a bit poorer, a bit richer. And somewhere in the midst of it hopefully you will find someone who you can build a future with.

So you've never had sex then?

Lissie I have had sex, I’m not comfortable with talking about it any further on here

chloe, most people my age are looking for younger women.

@LissieJess I'm picturing you as a 14 year old Catholic school girl right now.

OP I get it, I totally sympathise. Do you feel like this all the time or does it come in waves? (Like Sunday nights which as someone else says are the worst!)

It's totally normal to feel that way. And you've done the hobbies and social life thing to death.

This is going to be unpopular advice but I'll give it anyway: get onto online dating and try building a relationship with a guy who's just a nice person. Stop waiting to find someone who sets fireworks off in your heart.

In that case, I agree with Floating Object. Cast your net wide, look for nice, decent men, lower your standards where they don't hurt to be lowered (don't let jobs or education be a deal breaker, for example) and give it your best shot. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.