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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask the outcome of taking advice on Mumsnet

143 replies

Scentsandsensible · 21/09/2019 12:47

By its very nature, MN is a place that people come to seek advice. However looking on boards (am mainly talking AIBU as opposed to specific topics), I've seen some absolutely shocking and uninformed advice, among some absolute gems.

So aibu to ask - have you ever specifically taken advice from the wisom of MN and what was the outcome?

OP posts:

Marzipane · 21/09/2019 12:51

I've had some amazing advice from wonderful posters, and implemented positive changes in my life.

I still have a toilet brush, though...

WestEndWendie · 21/09/2019 13:01

I almost ruined a new sofa following one of the duff cleaning tips in the household section

WestEndWendie · 21/09/2019 13:03

On a serious note, this place is the best. It's empowered me not to take shit from family, in my relationship and from friends. Best advice ever, highly recommend

MuchBetterNow · 21/09/2019 13:09

Not so much advice as support. I've had some incredibl PMs that saved my sanity.

WhyIRayLiotta · 21/09/2019 13:11

I started a thread a few months ago asking for laundry advice. Loads of people gave up their time to offer me advice, and I implemented it. I still haven’t managed to get to the elusive laundry-free zone but I’m no longer drowning in it. And my whites are whiter, I’m using less powder and I attempt to remove stains rather than binning clothes.

May not be life changing stuff to some people, but it was genuinely getting me down, and now I feel better about myself.

EssentialHummus · 21/09/2019 13:11

Some. But also a few cases where the Mn response and the RL response from friends was radically different, and I went with the latter.

MuchBetterNow · 21/09/2019 13:17

Real advice on here can be hard to come by as lots of responses are knee jerk "get your ducks in a row" "LTB", "change schools" "resign!" "Sell up!" etc. But as I previously mentioned support can be invaluable.

Tilltheendoftheline · 21/09/2019 13:17

If it wasnt for MN, I think I would have still be with my abusive exh.

You do have to be careful and not just assume everyone is right. But people can give advice that's great and support.

The advice often around the issue of unmarried sahms not being entitled to their partners assets is shocking. So many people will say 'yes you can stay in the house and get some of his pension'.

They have no clue. But when I asked advice for my divorce, I read the advice. Looked it up online to verify its validity, the acted on it.

Anyone who just assumes someone on mumsnet has said it, so it must be right is very naive or a bit lazy.

Goodlookingcreature · 21/09/2019 13:20

Yes I posted about my best friend who treated me appallingly, she didn’t want me moving in with my boyfriend, she told me I couldn’t have a traditional wedding because I’d have no family at the top table, she told me to get the coil in because “you always said you didn’t want kids” and apparently it wouldn’t be fair of me to go back on that. She discouraged me meeting my boyfriends family because I didn’t have family to
Introduce him to.

That’s really only the tip of the iceberg. I took on board the advice to go NC and honestly, I’m so much happier.

MuchBetterNow · 21/09/2019 13:20

I wouldn't believe anyone who says "-Lawyer here!". They could work for Asda for all we know. Legal "advice" should only be taken from a solicitor you've appointed to deal with your specific problem.

Dljlr · 21/09/2019 13:22

I left my husband. 3 years after I'd been told to, but I did it. Best thing I could have done. I will always be indebted to AnyFucker and some other wonderful old posters who don't seem to be here much anymore for their straight talking and support.

BertieBotts · 21/09/2019 13:25

I left the Bastard, it was one of the best decisions ever made!

Can't remember what other advice I've had that I took. Did BLW with DS1 thanks to MN, that was a good one.

Oh, I let DS1 sleep on a mattress on the floor as per MN advice when he was small. My health visitor took great exception to this and used it as the trigger for a social services investigation, so that didn't go very well. It obviously wasn't the only issue though.

WanderingMind · 21/09/2019 13:29

I have a cupboard full of Zoflora.

SunshineAngel · 21/09/2019 13:29

I took advice regarding a situation with my inlaws and it solved the issue. It left us with many other issues, but hopefully time will sort those out :).

BikeRunSki · 21/09/2019 13:29

I bought a pushchair I loved and used fir 3 years.
I found a holiday destination we went to 6 years running.
I didn’t end up with Adam and Eve in the sane family
I shifted 3 yo ds’s 9 day constipation one Boxing Day
I make a mean banana cake from the recipes area

Inliverpool1 · 21/09/2019 13:30

I was advised when pregnant and knew ExDH was cheating to get my hair done and a new frock and go out with the pair of them and show em who’s boss. Added another 4 years of misery to a shit marriage and cost me £10,000’s. My honest advice to anyone now is to talk through things on here if you think it’ll help but don’t be taking advice even if it’s what you want to hear at the time.
Was also told I’d probably be a shit mother because I couldn’t train my dog ... there are some absolute morons on here

howyoulikemenow · 21/09/2019 13:32

Lots of people told me to leave my OH. I did. Never been happier.

LaBelleSauvage · 21/09/2019 13:32

MN said my barely visible pregnancy test was positive and it was! Thank you mumsnet!

Whatafackinliberty · 21/09/2019 13:37

90% of the advice on here is terrible. On the relationships board that rises to 99%.

BlueGingerale · 21/09/2019 13:37

I got really really bad advice on the primary Ed board when I was struggling with school stuff. My advice now would not to take advice from anyone who says their a teacher. If teachers could sort out the problem I wouldn’t need to ask strangers online.

30to50FeralHogs · 21/09/2019 13:39

I was advised back in the day that my emotionally abusive XH was bringing nothing to my life and that I’d be better off single. I hadn’t really realised his behaviour was abusive, as I’d gradually become used to it over the years, so my eyes were opened and I ended the marriage.

FWIW I don’t think he was intentionally abusive, most likely ASD (which he agrees with, but he needs a valid medical for his work - think pilot etc - so doesn’t see any value in being diagnosed).

Having some distance between us we now get on well and spend time together with the DCs. I have a new partner who is the complete opposite of XH and DCs are thriving in a warmer more supportive environment - we are all now happier thanks to advice from MN.

Original poster

Scentsandsensible · 21/09/2019 13:40

I never get why people purport to be "experts" (e.g lawyer, HR etc) when they clearly aren't. What's the reason?

OP posts:

30to50FeralHogs · 21/09/2019 13:42

The advice often around the issue of unmarried sahms not being entitled to their partners assets is shocking. So many people will say 'yes you can stay in the house and get some of his pension. I’ve never seen that on here. Every post I’ve ever seen about unmarried mums has said that they’ve vulnerable and need to get things locked down or get married to protect themselves.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 21/09/2019 13:43

I love the advice to "call them out" when someone is displaying slightly unwanted behaviour. Only ever do this if you're prepared for the fall out and being told a lot of home truths you might not want to hear!

Original poster

Scentsandsensible · 21/09/2019 13:46

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks I am secretly hoping someone will come on here and say "I was told to show them the thread" and then describe the fallout.

OP posts:

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