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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the outcome of taking advice on Mumsnet

143 replies

Scentsandsensible · 21/09/2019 12:47

By its very nature, MN is a place that people come to seek advice. However looking on boards (am mainly talking AIBU as opposed to specific topics), I've seen some absolutely shocking and uninformed advice, among some absolute gems.

So aibu to ask - have you ever specifically taken advice from the wisom of MN and what was the outcome?

OP posts:
MrsFezziwig · 21/09/2019 19:02

Also sharing the Shark love - had never heard of them before MN.

bigbluebus · 21/09/2019 19:02

Not something I started a thread on but I did diagnose DH as having Whooping cough after reading a thread on here and packed him off to the GP. Sure enough blood tests confirmed the diagnosis and we had public health on the phone asking questions As DH works with adults who are vulnerable healthwise, MN could possibly have been a life saver.

DirtyWindow · 21/09/2019 19:09

Is @pigletjohn still around?

I've taken his advice about quite a lot of house stuff - fitting a new shower, replacement windows etc.

If you're still here - thanks pigletjohn!

CheerfulMuddler · 21/09/2019 19:13

I've never asked for advice about serious issues here. But the 'take the backing paper off the stickers so they can peel them off themselves thing' is fucking awesome and I use that every time DS has a sheet of stickers.

TheDarkPassenger · 21/09/2019 19:14

The people on here seem to live completely different lives to myself so I don’t often take life advice no. Support is good though.

fridgegrazer · 21/09/2019 19:24

If MN had been around 20 years ago when I found out about my ex's affair, my life would have been so different (for the better) as I think, if I had been advised to, I would have left him 8 years before he decided to fuck off anyway. He just bided (?) his time and left when it suited him - it would have suited me much better had he done so after I found out about his affair.

666onmyhead · 21/09/2019 19:24

I found @OnePlanOnHouzz on here. She sorted my ground floor plan and kitchen design.

@pigletjohn sorted my boiler out

@anyfucker is just amazing.

Wouldn't be without mumsnet!

Rua13 · 21/09/2019 19:35

Collective advice saved me buying an apartment adjoining a cold storage unit.Four months on I've bought a (quieter apartment) and very relieved to get a good nights sleep.Thanks mumsnetters

GreenyEye · 21/09/2019 19:46

As one of those parents who's children are Autistic Hmm ... MN was invaluable to me when my son was being treated badly by his mainstream school.

I got some amazing advice on how to tackle the school and get him the support and help he needed to thrive.

BG2015 · 21/09/2019 19:55

I actually LTB. I knew I had to but posting on MN made me realise how bad my relationship was and I ended it.

It was a very difficult split and he continued to be an arse whilst we sold the house, but 6 years later I'm happier, better off financially and so glad I eventually had the courage to walk away.

SunshineCake · 21/09/2019 19:56

A mumsnetter possibly saved my life. As a minimum I got help when I wouldn't have known I needed too never mind sooner.

Basketofkittens · 21/09/2019 19:57

I use MN as entertainment rather than serious advice.

LaBelleSauvage123 · 21/09/2019 20:00

When DS2 was little and newly diagnosed with autism I had incredible advice and support from the SN board - about therapies, diet, allergies, behaviour, everything. It saved my sanity and set up the network of ‘autism mums’ I rely on now he’s nearly 17.
More recently the Higher Ed university threads have been a great source of info for helping DS1 make decisions about universities.

Cornberry · 21/09/2019 20:02

The point isn’t just advice from individuals. It’s also to gauge opinion across a group. I had a dispute with a family member and the post unexpectedly yielded hundreds of responses. It was very useful to see the spread of opinions.

absopugginglutely · 21/09/2019 20:05

Yep I was told to LTB 9 years ago.
I did.
I am now happily married with the loveliest man and we have a Gorgeous DD.
Thank you wise women of MN, I’m forever in your debt.

99mTc · 21/09/2019 20:11

I decided to try the "ignore bad behaviour and praise good behaviour" strategy that pops up occasionally on the parenting board. Ignoring bad behaviour is truly terrible advice ime, whatever the age of the child.
I also used to go on the sleep board for help when my DC slept badly. I should have avoided it because the advice given is definitely not conducive to better sleep.

I think MN is a good place for support and a very bad place for advice.

YaySeptember · 21/09/2019 20:21

I've never asked for advice on here for anything but I'm tempted to ask for sewing tips. My mum's giving me a sewing machine as a gift and I've never even touched one before, let alone used one, and I'd like ideas and tips for short, easy projects. The thing is, even if it's top-notch advice, if there's lots of it I'd feel like I was drowning in it and get so overwhelmed I wouldn't know where to start!

Herocomplex · 21/09/2019 21:10

The thing to bear in mind is that advice never hurts the giver.

Thegrasscouldbegreeener · 21/09/2019 21:17

It has been positively enlightening. Words of wisdom doesn’t even cover it.
Gave me confidence to be strong when I was feeling weak, and to remember even the strong can be weak.
It’s had a really significant impact. I suspect it has been even bigger for others, when MN has been a real life line.

bombomboobah · 21/09/2019 21:44

I wouldn't take anything as gospel I use Mumsnet to get a range of views and opinions, extra insights etc.

theoriginalmadambee · 21/09/2019 22:19

Because of MN I'm now the happy owner of a Shark Smile. And have just had a lot of help with cooking.

Original poster
Scentsandsensible · 22/09/2019 14:59

@bombomboobah am starting to take the idea of shark hoover as gospel! Other than that - completely agree.

OP posts:
chipsandgin · 22/09/2019 18:04

@Onescaredmuma & @Catkin8 - delayed reply, but this (apparently obvious to everyone else!) thing about duvet covers is that I had spent my whole adult life putting the duvet in the duvet cover wrong!

With a single it’s obvious the lines run vertically top to bottom, it’s slim across & long, with doubles they are square so you’re fine with the lines either vertical it horizontal....but king, superking etc, they are all wider than they are long so the lines on the duvet should be horizontal - going side to side on the bed, the rectangle shape long side
across the bed not longest edge down it. I’d always had the covers correct (because the opening is at the foot of the bed), but put the actual duvet in with the longer edge top to bottom, resulting in flappy sides! it’s been brilliant since the penny dropped on that one for me (sad but satisfying!!). That was all!

Original poster
Scentsandsensible · 22/09/2019 19:23

@chipsandgin you may have just changed my life

OP posts:
PicsInRed · 22/09/2019 19:30

I mostly read others' posts. I didn't post under this username.

What I read helped me to get my head around the domestic abuse I had endured for years, to name it, to pull it altogether into a pattern of behaviour and read further into patterns of abuse. It put me onto resources like Lundy's Why Does He Do That. This all allowed me to plan for the end of the relationship, so I could escape alive and relatively financially unharmed.

I owe a great debt to MN and the posters who kindly provided so much information and advice over the years.