To ask the outcome of taking advice on Mumsnet

[Scentsandsensible]

By its very nature, MN is a place that people come to seek advice. However looking on boards (am mainly talking AIBU as opposed to specific topics), I've seen some absolutely shocking and uninformed advice, among some absolute gems.

So aibu to ask - have you ever specifically taken advice from the wisom of MN and what was the outcome?

I went low carb and lost 3 stone!

I got assistance when I had a question about how to deal with a concern about my Dd and it helped me to put things in perspective and great ways to work through it.

I think you have to be very careful where you post. If you want a ripping then you come to the AIBU. However, I have most posters kind.

To counter balance this I got completely flamed 4 years ago about an incidence with my MIL and her council flat. As a result I haven't been to visit since as the opinions on here made me feel so negative about the whole experience.

Op, if you break dw tabs in half while their still wrapped up they still wash effectively.

I've noticed this a lot on here as well, it's weird when their post is full of really bad grammar. I'm not a grammar Nazi or anything like that, and don't judge it usually

To be fair. Postng on my phone is a nightmare. I hold a very senior post and am dyslexic. But my personal mobiles get ruined overtime. Because some words are not always a clear cut decision on predictive text And because it learns, which basically means it starts offering my shit spelling up as a legit option, so my personal phone doesnt always help and often hinders once I have it a while.

Also auto correct fucks me over. Writing this for example I didnt spell 'arent' quite correct and it auto corrected to 'are'. So then the sentence doesnt quote make sense.

I’ve read a lot of relationships threads. When my DH suddenly decided we were over after nearly 20 years I was left reeling. I couldn’t eat or sleep, I barely remembered to breathe in and out. I just wanted to lie on the floor and cry. I set aside the shock and distress long enough to do all of the things people are told to do on the relationships threads. I couldn’t cope with staying in the house but rather than just leaving I dug out all the paperwork I needed, all the details of how much money was in each bank account (including screenshots), transferred funds from our joint savings account so I had enough in my current account to cover the cost of living and legal fees and made sure I took everything of sentimental value with me. I went to stay with family and researched and found a shit hot lawyer. Then I fell apart.

It made the world of difference. Instead of having to depend on soon to be ex for money I had enough to help myself and file for divorce. Instead of assuming that it was all some awful misunderstanding and that he just needed some time or space or counselling I had taken in the wisdom of the board (and particularly AnyFucker) that in these circumstances there’s going to be another woman. When my solicitor arranged for me to collect my things there was obviously another woman living with him in our house.

Without the relationships board I would have allowed things to drag on for months trying to convince him to reconcile and eventually walked away with half of what was left of our joint assets after an amicable split - you have to show bank statements to the court and he managed to spend every penny he had access to over the months of the divorce process. With the advice of the board I ended up with 70% of the equity in the house, ongoing maintenance and my self respect because
I didn’t go begging for another chance.

Well, I recently posted asking for advice on my CV for my current job hunt and one poster kindly took their own time out to critique and advise me on my CV via messages.

I followed their advice and revised to CV accordingly and now have an interview next week, so it can be a useful place for advice.

Several years ago on here when I was a lone parent in a violent relationship I also appreciated and took the advice of posters on this subject. I find Mumsnet posters particularly knowledgeable on he subject of DV.

@Tilltheendoftheline
To be fair. Postng on my phone is a nightmare. I hold a very senior post and am dyslexic.

Yeah, that's why I say I don't usually judge it, because obviously there are reasons like you say, dyslexia, and seeing people being corrected makes my toes curl in case that is the case with them. I hope I didn't offend you Till, I'm sorry if I did. I should have put it a bit better :)

I got some great advice on here and as a result, my (NC) username is likely to become a reality.

Good for you WeatherRabbit

I use a backpack handbag now. Absolutely fabulous and I wish I had done it sooner!

Mooncup.

PennyNotSoWise oh god no you didnt offend.

I do agree dont believe anyone is a lawyer (for example) just because they say it.

So much advice is given out by 'legal bods' about work here that is just incorrect.

I was just saying that you can hold a very senior professional position but also have poor grammar on MN.

I hate using my work phone to text incase I fuck that one up.

I can get a bit arsey about people sneering at spelling and grammar. But I though you said it in a very measured way. I do understand the gut reaction to poor spelling and grammar. Its bred into us that it has to be correct.

Theres a huge difference, imo, between having the gut reaction but then realising it's a bit shitty to comment and actually publically sneering at people.

You seem to be the first type.

Tilltheendoftheline Phew, glad you got what I meant

Theres a huge difference, imo, between having the gut reaction but then realising it's a bit shitty to comment and actually publically sneering at people. Totally agree. But there have been some beautiful moments where someone has snootily corrected someone, whilst making a spelling mistake themselves. Instant karma for being a twat Love it when that happens, gotta admit.

I remember posting about something that I thought was pretty inconsequential but would upset me, with regards to my ex and being met with swathes of horrified responses. The scales really fell from my eyes. Basically when he was angry with me for something he would do passive aggressive things like when we were carrying ds down the tube stairs in his buggy - very steep stairs and lots of them - he would be at the top end and would walk very fast down the stairs too fast for me to keep up and would be using the buggy to shove me down the stairs. I fell more than once and he would then profess apologies or if really angry just stare at me with an expressionless or slightly triumphant face. Another thing he would do was stand in my way all the time. So eg I would be coming into our front door with a load of shopping, buggy and ds etc and he'd stop right in front of me so I couldn't get through and take absolutely ages to greet our child, take his coat off etc. All the while knowing I was waiting to get through with a ton of bags. If I said anything he'd look at me with a disgusted look and say things like "are you saying I can't say hello to my son?".

MNetters on relationships linked me to loads of useful stuff and told me he would escalate and sure enough a few years later he attacked me a number of times in front of my children. Someone said "so you're saying your husband uses your child to push you down flights of stairs?" I'd never thought of it like that believe it or not. I got the best advice and I left him with all that support. Best thing I ever did. There's some real unpleasantness on here at times and I get exasperated but the valuable work that is done helping abused women on the relationships board especially is phenomenal and I don't think there's anywhere else quite like it, not that I have found anyway.

I got some good advice on my relationship with my DSis. I followed it and it has got quite a bit better. I have also had some good advice from colleagues in the Staffroom. Finally, MN came to my rescue when I needed to find a child friendly restaurant in a specific area that was open on Christmas Day and had alternatives to a trad lunch. That one was really helpful and rescued what would otherwise have been a terrible day!

But there have been some beautiful moments where someone has snootily corrected someone, whilst making a spelling mistake themselves. Instant karma for being a twatLove it when that happens, gotta admit.

Its hilarious. I have been sneered at on here. Someone once had a right go at me for spelling Micheal wrong (still confused as to the right way), but my best friends husband has the less used (wrong according to some) spelling. So of course as I used that a few times, autcorrwct changes it and now I cant recognised the difference.

My favourite response is to point out that I became dyslexic in my late teens after almost dying, whilst having meningitis, so I didnt have the support during my education that others sometimes get. Then I ask them if they like to make fun of people with other disabilities or just those who have poor spelling.

The back tracking is beautiful!

They of course dont mean people who are dyslexic (how they can te that over mn, I dont know), that should be obvious and they would never make fun of someone who has disabilities.

My personal favourite is 'I wouldnt do that, I have dyslexic friends'

I’ve had some crap advice!

In our early days of dating, DH was slow to message me back. He went on a work trip and I didn’t hear from him for a couple of days. I was told to LTB, that he was sleeping with other people, that he didn’t care about me etc. In reality, he just isn’t very good at Whatsapping back anybody but he has improved with me! He is a very thoughtful and kind husband - most of the time!

I posted about starting a job in the NHS knowing I would be leaving soon. I got such a barrage of angry messages saying I was selfish and destroying the NHS and my colleagues would hate me. Well I did start the job and it turned out to be pretty dire so I left before the two month mark. And don’t feel bad at all! I’ll never see those colleagues again and they will have forgotten me by now.

Oh and in another job I posted about having nothing to do all day. I was told I was a parasite of the tax payer, that I should be deep cleaning the offices if I had no work and that I needed to resign to stop money being wasted on my salary. 😂

Advice wasn’t taken.

I handed in my notice just before the dickheads I worked with went on summer leave for four weeks and had a final few weeks doing nothing and being paid for it. Halcyon days!

I started HRT as a result of Mumsnet. Been a life changer

Helped me win dd's school appeal :) I had all the info but a review and advice on my statement was very helpful.

There are certain topics you have to be very careful posting about, often to do with healthcare and education. Instead of advice you get a load of ideology. Having said that, on good days, this is one of the few places you can have a good political or sociological debate in a reasonably courteous way. I've learnt a lot, even if the lack of understanding of economics drives me a bit mad.

How to fold a duvet in a pillowcase.

To shop wearily for Christmas.

To meal plan.

To keep the sink clean.

And two important things. My eldest surviving child was born 10 months after the stillbirth of my eldest. I had no idea about babies and I always lurked to MN for advice. I didn’t have anyone to ask and felt I should have already known. I remember crying one night when dd was 16 weeks because she wouldn’t sleep and all the Nil’s said she should be sleeping through the night by now!

And when I was convinced something was ‘up’ with dd2. I didn’t know what. Lurking on the SN boards made me realise she had ASD. Linked me to SNJ, empowered me to ignore the professionals who blamed me and two yeArs later she got a diagnosis. Of course it’s not ‘normal’ for a 5yo to eye gouge - stupid professionals! It also empowered me to get her an EHCP and show SENCOs I know more than them. I’ve paid this forward in RL by being able to help a lot of people who were once lost like me .

Basketofkittens i remember that!

For me, mooncup, modibodi and i trust no man