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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask the outcome of taking advice on Mumsnet

143 replies

Scentsandsensible · 21/09/2019 12:47

By its very nature, MN is a place that people come to seek advice. However looking on boards (am mainly talking AIBU as opposed to specific topics), I've seen some absolutely shocking and uninformed advice, among some absolute gems.

So aibu to ask - have you ever specifically taken advice from the wisom of MN and what was the outcome?

OP posts:
LisaSimpsonsbff · 22/09/2019 19:34

I posted when I was upset because I felt my family favoured my nephew over my then newborn DS. People (mostly quite gently, because it was clear I had not yet recovered my sanity post-birth) told me I was being crazy and not to bring it up. I look back over a year on and: I was being crazy and I'm very glad I didn't bring it up!

chipsandgin · 22/09/2019 21:52

@Scentsandsensible it’s reassuring to know it wasn’t just me doing that all those years!!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 24/09/2019 20:14

@atchipsandgin

Are you a WIZZARD?!

I'm always fighting with those sodding things!

Bobbiepin · 24/09/2019 20:42

Almost a year ago I ignored advice to go off sick with stress as I thought my last job was making me ill. I ended up severely unwell and spent a week in hospital.

Two days ago I asked for opinions on what I thought was a cold. Followed the advice to go to A&E and was diagnosed with an infection in one of my lungs that would have made me very unwell again if I hadn't caught it early.

Nest of vipers and lifesavers.

nibdedibble · 24/09/2019 21:05

I happened to read a bit of advice about going to visit your MPs office if you have visa problems and I needed it the very next week.

Thank you that poster because you saved my bacon!

OhioOhioOhio · 24/09/2019 21:09

Yip. Getting divorced.

Mental cruelty and emotional abusers don't ever stop...

Stfrancescof · 24/09/2019 21:20

Me too about advise meaning I realised I was being domestically abused. Left the bastard, never been happier, or safer. Thanks mn Flowers

Superlooper · 24/09/2019 21:26

Not me but there was a thread about a son with acetone breath and posters advised to go to A&E as it could be diabetes...and they were right.

Superlooper · 24/09/2019 21:32

Advice I didn't take (thankfully) was when I had 1 issue with our childminder and lots of people said to move dc.

Context: she was a fantastic childminder who took great care of them for 5 years and one day she made a mistake (non serious) and never did it again. Definitely not worth moving them for, would have been very hard to find someone else as good.

Dontlikeoranges · 24/09/2019 21:36

Helped me deal with narcissistic parents through a really tough time - now have a hugely better relationship with them much more on my terms.

Helped me leave a very angry gaslighting partner - opened my eyes to whet I needed to do.

Now I'm in a much better happy place. MN was there when I couldn't talk to anyone else.

OhioOhioOhio · 26/09/2019 21:03

Divorce.

StinkyHouse85 · 26/09/2019 21:11

Yes - to block someone who was stressing me out. I did it and felt much better!

Confrontayshunme · 26/09/2019 21:51

The HG boards were the only thing that helped and kept me going when I was in early pregnancy. When my GP fobbed me off after two days without peeing in my 2nd pregnancy, they said to get these keto stix. I took one into A&E on a taxi, weed on it, and it nearly turned black. I was admitted and FINALLY got help. I don't think it is an understatement to say that I could have been much worse off if I hadn't had them to help me.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 26/09/2019 22:35

I couldn't take any serious advice from here as there's so much bullshit in between the few bits of decent advice. For example today a poster's 3 month old had fallen off a surface onto the floor and one posters advice was to eat chocolate and watch a film ffs!!

HighlyUnlikely · 26/09/2019 22:43

I’d never even heard the phrase ‘gaslighting’ before I started lurking on here. It changed my life and helped me realise I wasn’t going mad and that HE was a terrible abuser. I remember my jaw dropping when I read about the ‘script’. I wish I’d found you sooner MN.

Graphista · 26/09/2019 23:33

Not advice as such but when I first joined (I'd lurked a bit before joining) dd was in hospital EXTREMELY unwell and I was very worried about her, it was an unusual reaction to a "normal" infection that most people only require an over the counter treatment for...

But because of her disability it took hold in her system FRIGHTENINGLY fast and she went downhill very quickly, losing a lot of weight (she is VERY slim and can ill afford to lose any! Iirc she lost about a stone in a week!) because she literally couldn't swallow even her own spit, she was swollen all over, very high temp and ended up on 3 drips, one of which antibiotics but she ended up not responding to the first antibiotic prescribed and continuing to go downhill.

I have fuck all support system (my mum actually badly let us down at this time).

Because I didn't have a car at the time (I have a license but due to meds couldn't drive) and the hospital where she ended up (not our local one as they didn't have the specialist hcps needed) was very difficult to reach by public transport and my own health is poor too, the hospital let me stay with her and very kindly gave me a bed to sleep in too. Except certainly the first 4/5 nights I couldn't sleep because I was worried sick about her, because her throat was so badly swollen I worried about her stopping breathing or choking. A WONDERFUL mner kept me company by pm and even managed to make me smile on occasion.

It was an awful time but I will NEVER forget the kindness of that mner who truly helped me get through a VERY dark and scary time.

Dd has since recovered thankfully and says she barely remembers much of her stay in hospital (she was on pretty strong painkillers too) but I definitely do. We are both really cautious when she gets a "normal" infection though and she is very careful herself to take care of herself hygiene wise and if she gets even the slightest cut or graze or other issues that can lead to infection she cleans it thoroughly (the whole situation started basically because she very very slightly cut her gum opening bloody packaging with her teeth!) and certainly if she gets a fever she goes straight to dr (as per her specialist for her disability's instructions following this incident, it's not on a whim and she's not 'wasting Nhs resources' it's what we've been told to do and gp has no problem with this).

I've never felt so alone as that first night with her in hospital when she looked so very sick and the hcps weren't entirely sure what was going on yet.

To the pp who mentioned, we also had a night of dd screaming and we had NO idea why and were almost at point of taking her to a&e, I called my lovely (sadly now ex) mil (not everyone's mil's are awful - but my ex's was! My mums a challenge!) who suggested the hair around a digit theory - and right enough around one of her toes was a single hair that was digging in!

I do remember one hilarious thread/incident where the op had posted asking for budget advice, I've been operating on tight budgets pretty much all my adult life so was happy to help and spent a fair bit of time writing advice and checking on certain things for the op - at which point the op (who as it turned out had a significant income and was basically frittering money away on crap!) basically turned on me and said I'd clearly never been on a budget in my life and was posting from a perspective of being a privileged person!! This happened while I was busy and not reading/posting and another poster very familiar with my username and background 'came to my defence' bless her! I'm from a working class scots background with an alcoholic father (so whatever income we had much was pissed away!) who has mostly worked nmw type jobs and for the last 16 years I've been a single mum in receipt of benefits (even when working full time)! So yea - I'm really 'privileged' 😂😂😂

hownowredcow · 27/09/2019 21:55

Not sterilising anything was a great piece of advice from RTKangaMummy. She explained it very well, but yeah sterilising is bs.

Miscarriage advice was great.

I got advice about making up formula advice - one flask of boiling water, one of cold water that had been boiled - hot water hits powder then topped up with cold water. Amazing.

I'm sure there's more.

FreshwaterBay · 27/09/2019 22:04

No. And why would you?

This is a trigger-happy forum of unqualified specialists including the Mumsnet founders who are also here by accident not design. Mumsnet is not the real world.

If you make decisions based on what people say on here then good luck to you. If it goes 'tits up' you have no fall back here.

This is a global forum to make the founders money. It is not rocket science.

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