to think dummies should not be taken to school pick up!

[friedeggsandbeans]

Just that really, Mum at school picks her DS up from school, he's just started so 4 or 5 years old, and gives him his dummy, so he is running around the playground, with his friends, with a dummy in his mouth. Absolutely nothing to do with me, but why? why would you do that?

Horrible post. You have no idea what is going on in that house so maybe it would be nicer if you were supportive not judgemental.

My son had a dummy until 7(!) I felt so embarrassed, ashamed and judged but then my child’s NHS consultant told me that until those who judge you have walked in my shoes they have no right. My son suffers from an invisible rare disease. He is in CONSTANT pain and has been from an early age and the dummy was one of the ways he coped with it. Don't judge as it does not impact on your life, has nothing to do with you and the world could do with less judgy people like you. Rather count your blessings.

Even if there is no SEN it isn't really your place to judge. You can have a preference but it is your own preference and not something to project onto a child other than your own.

Don’t be so ridiculous, it has nothing to do with ‘preference’, it’s what’s appropriate for a child that age - giving children solid food, toilet training, letting them walk when they can instead of using a pram etc are all not ‘preferences’, they are things sensible parents do to support a child’s growth and development. Having a dummy at that age is not only ‘babying’ which psychologically can have a very negative effect, but it’s also not good for teeth and speech. As a pp said, if there is an SEN issue there are other devices available for children who feel comforted by chewing/sucking on things.

@elliejjtiny it's very sad that ones so young feel self conscious isn't it. for you. It isn't easy at all and all the poor judgement from those who think they know better doesn't help one bit.

I don’t understand. The way I read it, the child copes all day at school without a dummy, then the mum gives it to them as soon as school finishes? Perhaps this is not right though and the child has it all day?

None of my business but if SEN I could understand the child having it all day for whatever reason. However, even if SEN not sure why, if they cope all day without it then it could not wait until they got home if it was absolutely required for some reason. If not SEN it’s just really weird.

I did that for the whole of ds2 reception year last year. He is the youngest in the year with a late August birthday but was 3 weeks early so was meant to be a September baby. He really struggled with his reception year, cried all the way home with exhaustion.

My older 2 dc have always sensory comforts, mouthing fixations and possible SN but it could just be he was too young for school. Not one child taunted him but he was twice asked why he had it and he said he liked it. The children happily accepted that and no more was said. 2 weeks before his 5th birthday and the start of year 1 he suddenly took it out at bedtime and said he didn’t need it anymore. (As did my older ds at 4.3yo) There was no battle with him and he was ready. I never saw it as an issue really.

Even when a child seems perfectly fine ant school and happy. He could be just holding it all together and waiting for Mum. My oldest was an agel at shool and then for grandma after school. When I arrived he'd fall apart and needed to be babied for a few minutes. He'd spent the day holiding it all together. He has sesory issues and I was his safe place.

Bloody hell my spelling went south there, sorry.

The thing is kids are cruel and whilst his peers might not care now they wont let him forget it in years to come. A girl in my year apparently had a dummy in primary 1 (so age 4 or 5 first year of school) I dont remember her having it but i remember classmates talking about it throughout school long after she stopped using it. She was labelled the girl who came to school with a dummy at it stuck after she probably couldn't remember using it herself. It's not nice and kids should be kinder but ultimately they arent. So I would never do it. But each to their own (I would cringe a little if I saw a child in a school uniform being handed a dummy fair enough in the house but dont babyfy them in front of their friends).

Thank you for all the comments. Yes I am judging. I am judging the Mum. This child comes out of school, is handed a dummy, then runs off with his mates, he could fall over and knock his teeth out. No SEN.

Again, not your business, not your concern. Carry on being a perfect parent and hope you never made a decision that others judge you for. Let's hope your kids are inclusive of others and not judgemental in your footsteps. You have no idea why.

You need to wind your neck in.

You know that there are no SEN, do you? For a fact?

I always shudder when people confidently proclaim “no SEN”. When my DS was 4, even we, his parents, didn’t know he had SN. And now we do, lots of friends / neighbours / classmates parents still don’t because they don’t need to.

Re. The boy in the OP; running around with it in his mouth isn’t ideal, but as others have said, he probably will have given it up by half term anyway. There was a girl in DD’s reception class who was collected in a buggy with a sippy cup of milk for for the first few weeks. She was the youngest in the class and tiny for her age. She soon was walking home with a snack like her peers. No one commented.

I find that small children are actually really accepting of things like that. They’re curious and ask questions, but it differences don’t inevitably lead to “merciless teasing”. And if they did, I’d say the problem lay with children doing the teasing.

Dummies are awful at y age and I will judge you.

Dummies are awful at y age and I will judge you.

You need to get a life, imagine having so little going on that you give a shit that someone gives their baby a dummy.

Dummies are awful at y age and I will judge you.

Judge away 😂

Before I had children no child of mine was ever going to have such a disgusting thing in their mouths. I finished up with the cot beside the bed and slept with my hand jamming the dummy in the baby's mouth because every time it fell out the baby started wailing and had to be bf and my nipples were like two stop lights 😂 All good intentions went out the window.

I do love how people are so proud of their ignorance as if it's something to be proud of. Oh to have such a simple life.

I was lucky and Ds dropped dummies by himself when he was 2.5

However he is a prolific top sucker and has ruined many t shirts so in a way a dummy would be better.

He is 9 now and last term went back to taking a teddy to school. He had just had surgery and was struggling to get back into school. That comfort helped him.

Why would having a dummy knock his teeth out? Ds2 fell out of an upstairs window 5m onto our concrete drive, landing on his face. The drs said the only thing that saved his teeth and him from biting his tongue/doing much more damage was because he had a dummy in his mouth.

Sirzy I feel your pain, ds1 chews the sleeves of his tops. His school jumpers are frayed to buggery.

Some children are still breastfeeding at that age too, (perfectly natural, if unusual in the Uk) so some obviously still find sucking a dummy comforting too.

He might have just turned 4... wouldn’t look so out of place in a nursery.

If he can manage all day without it, I'm sure he could manage til he gets home.

I'd love to know how you've seen the child's medical records (or indeed into the future to see a future diagnoses) to know that there's no SN.