How would you feel if you received this email?

[SamCam349]

Is this (below) a nice email to receive? What would you think of the sender who wrote it??

‘I will reluctantly speak to you next Tuesday to attempt to address your discriminatory actions. As I mentioned last week, I, personally, do not consider you to be that important, and I would not be entertaining this call were your manager not also be participating.’

🙄 oh for goodness sake.

Hope you aren’t the sender OP.

Why do you need people's opinions on whether that is a friendly or hostile email? Can you not work it out for yourself? If you can't see the person is unhappy I think you need to do some kind of training course.

Well no one is going to come on this thread and say "Actually I think that this is a delightful email and I would feel warm and fuzzy if I received it" are they OP, that's obvious and no vote needed. If you're trying to work out whether or not the tone and content of the email is acceptable then we'll need more context.

From ops last message it looks more likely that she/he wrote the email. Maybe it was written after too many glasses of red perhaps?

From ops last message it looks more likely that she/he wrote the email. Maybe it was written after too many glasses of red perhaps?

What was her excuse for the communication the week before - per vinum transgressi? 🍷

Assuming the OP has been on the receiving end of some discriminatory comments from a colleague, and someone has taken the colleague to task about it, hence the meeting with colleagues manager, OP and nasty colleague, the correct response would have been either no email, or one simply confirming their attendance.

Presumably OP's feelings are that colleague is an odious little worm who warrants no head space whatsoever. However OP has failed to acknowledge the wider issue - an employer is, or should be, obliged to address any discrimination in the workplace. Odious colleague could well think they can continue their behaviour and others, maybe not as robust as OP, could be significantly affected.

Well I just wasted my own time scrolling through for context despite knowing it wouldn’t be provided. More fool me.

Ffs, just read whole thread and no explanation!

Doesn't matter what the back story was, this is an unprofessional email.

The reasons for the email may be justified but the language is childish, too emotional and seems to have already decided the outcome of the meeting. Which, if it's a disciplinary meeting, is unprofessional, unfair and could jeopardise any actions taken from the meeting.

If you're inviting someone to a disciplinary you need to be scrupulously fair and accurate. If you're already making your mind up you could be called into account if you rule against the person so it's worth keeping your emotions out of it. If this is a manager I'd be wondering about their ability to manage to be honest.

If this has come from someone who is facing a disciplinary I think they're being very silly - dismissing the need for the meeting could land them in even deeper trouble.

Ffs, just read whole thread and no explanation!

Are you owed an explanation?

Are you owed an explanation?

If someone is looking for advice/views, then common courtesy usually dictates that you give readers some idea of the backstory in order that they can form meaningful opinions.

As it is, this OP kind of comes off as a bit of an attention seeking drama llama, not to mention potential sender of highly unprofessional emails.

Look at the user name. Has david cameron or someone around him done something that would match up with that email? Is this a pisstake?

LaPeste You are either naive or disingenuous with your "The OP owes us nothing " comments.
That's not how this forum tends to work with this kind of post.

"At your manager's request, I will speak to you on Tuesday to address your apparently discriminatory actions. As agreed, your manager will be present when we discuss this."

That's all that needed to be said.

Good spot @ElizaDee... she did her first TV interview with him yesterday, too.

You are either naive or disingenuous with your "The OP owes us nothing " comments. That's not how this forum tends to work with this kind of post

Not at all. I understand that people (included myself) are interested to hear the juicy story behind this - who said what, is someone losing their job today, etc. But surely the primary purpose is for the OP to get an answer to her question. She got it. She's heading in for a disciplinary meeting today (by the sounds of things). She's not hear to post for your entertainment.

we need a backstory tbh

It's not obviously hostile though. I will reluctantly speak to you next Tuesday- because actually I'm on your side/ think this is all a fuss and shouldn't be having to meet with you. Ie the sender is being nice. Also I don't think your important etc is badly worded but again is saying we're only having to do this because your manager is involved so is actually trying to sympathise with the receiver. Ie your not that senior/ important at the firm/ your actions shouldn't have this much impact. So very badly worded but the sender is trying to be sympathetic to the receiver not hostile.

Email is ambiguous and unclear because of bad English.

OP is also unclear and ambiguous and therefore OP probably sent the email.

OP, never try to be official, officious and pompous in an email. Try to be professional, clear and straightforward.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit

Where are the forum rules please? I have never seen this in all my years in Mumsnet!

Some posters have an expectation of a backstory, and it can help in shaping whether responses more likely to be helpful. There is no obligation to provide one, however.

LaPeste and ButchyRestingFace - not owed an explanation but would have been nice to know backstory and outcome. Going back in my box now....

Oh I thought there really were rules about how to use the forum

Benefitofthedoubt
I didn't say anything about forum rules, think of it more like the UK and its unwritten constitution. It's more about convention.
I am also well aware that while this poster is not here for my entertainment, sometimes a little more explanation helps.