To ask if SAHM on benefits also have it hard

[Tryinghardereveryday]

I am not generalising, making assumptions or trying to offend.

This morning a was taking LO to nursery,
Which costs me a fortune. I am considered to have a good wage and I work FT. I own my own home.

A woman was walking her dog with her children. She lives in a council house, Her home is identical to mine.She’s single and doesn’t work. I am assuming she is in receipt of benefits.

I thought what’s the point of working so hard... I get limited time with DD whilst she gets to see her children full time. If I don’t work my home gets repossessed. I pay council tax, childcare fees and receive no financial help with anything.

Am I better off than those who have financial help? Does working FT provide me with a better lifestyle? This woman is not struggling. She also claims free childcare. A part from my annual holiday away (which I am grateful for) I don’t think I have anything more than she does and I don’t think that’s completely worth it.
The good thing about working is the contribution to my pension. But poorer older people also get additional assistance. Very few of us will get to pass inheritance to our children as our equity (anything above £23000) will possibly be used to pay for our care in old age.

I’m just feeling down and thinking what’s the point in working so hard. This is not an attack on this woman. It’s at the government, we live in a country where sometimes working does not pay for middle rate earners and we are constantly told it does.

Did I say sahm who were supported by someone else weren’t lazy ? There’s a certain amount of laziness in us all . If we give people the choice of £20k to work or £20k to stay at home most of them will choose the later esp if they don’t see any progression in their job .
It shouldn’t be a choice , you have children you pay for them .

No you didn't but I was just curious as to your opinion. You either think SAHPs are lazy or you don't.

I hope you have the same amount of vitriol for NRPs who don't refuse to pay maintenance as well.

Refuse to pay maintenance. Clearly I can't type today!

I utterly fucked up by marrying my kids dad. I already owned my house and at the time my mortgage would have been paid by DWP. Benefits would have been more than I earnt and he dragged us around the world for his job, cheating the whole time and then blew every penny pre divorce. And then my kids went to live with him.

Nope not an exception. The numbers of looked after children going to uni at 18 is atrocious (think it's something like 11%) but it goes up and lots of care experienced people now go onto education in their late 20s/30s/40s.

I network with lots of now successful adults who were writ off as teens and never encouraged to go to uni due to living in childrens home and shit foster placements. Theres a lot of us out there but we look and act and fit in to society now we've uncovered our potentials.

I'm not saying some people don't take the piss, but I'd rather someone take the piss at that end of society, rather than bankers taking the piss and gambling our economy whilst keeping their money in offshore accounts. The ones who do take the piss on benefits don't usually end up with happy lives once their DC are older.

I'm glad you've prepared for a shit happens scenario, but I wasn't able to due to the fact I was a child.

@Justgorgeous I have taken nothing out of the education system.. I was privately educated throughout. Unless you mean university? I have certainly put a lot into education, having worked as a teacher for 15 years.
I have used the NHS, however isn't that what tax and National Insurance is for? I would certainly rather have a system like the USA's. I have lived there and found healthcare to be much more efficient.
The fact is everyone is entitled to 15 free hours, unless they change the rules.

Damn right fathers should pay and the government should be chasing them for it . It should be removed from their wages or they should be billed a set amount if they claim to be se. I’d remove passports and driver licenses too . Perhaps even a website where the names of this who don’t pay could be read by all.

I just checked, and last year the total of child maintenance debt was about £2.5 BILLION.

Maybe if more was done to enforce these payments from NRPs then benefits could be reduced!

I resent the insinuation of being a SAHP of under 5s makes you lazy.

Have you ever actually HAD to find and fund childcare for the flexible/non-standard hours working every company seems to want when you don't already have extensive experience?

When I was with my now ex we had a finely timed but workable schedule of seperate days off to cover 4 days and then opposite shifts the other 3. We got by well albeit not flush. All of a sudden he fucked off and I had a job that wanted weekend working and 5am starts so it had to go. Since then the job had to go and I had zero non-retail work experience. He left coming up 3 years ago. I have just completed my undergraduate degree, have just started my Masters and volunteer at two seperate relevent places during school hours to build up a CV. My 4 year old has autism and their father hasn't been seen since Jan 2017.

I am certainly not lazy but it is very very difficult to get yourself out of it once you are in it. It is a vicious cycle. My only saving grace is £300 A month matinence means I can get by well enough to justify the volunteering to open up prospects long term.

Oh and matinence wise, far too many father's go self employed. Legally there is no wages and thus no matinence payable and no one will do a thing about it.

It’s my personal view that we should be working towards as a society in which all families are able to have one person (or equivalent with two part time) at home, should they choose to for the early years.

It is illogical that main carers are forced into work with a young child/ren, earn very, so pay little tax and the childcare being a) worse for the child in most cases b) it costing more to the tax payer since we subsidise childcare and c) making mum miserable.
All so we can say our GDP is growing and that we have progress. As you’ve pointed out, progress isn’t parents never getting to see their children.

Things are going to tighten up with benefits over the next xx years though, because economically its going to get tougher overall, economically inactive benefit claimants who choose not to work will be at the back of the queue.

Put it this way, despite us being a rich nation we are an aging population, in a non manufacturing/limited exporting country, who has just handed our prowess in the very lucrative financial sector to our former economic partners, we have additionally sold our energy companies to foreign companies, are reliant on imports for food and oil, and have closed the door on people who want to come here, work hard and prosper. In addition to all that we have had years and years of chronic underfunding in our infrastructure, in housing, health, communications,education. We are fucked.

For a start I expect the way the NHS is funded will change and we will move to something like the French model, where everyone is covered for basic health care but if you want something a bit gentler and with more choice you buy in some private insurance .

People who aren't paying into private pensions will find themselves living on a limited income, with very little additional support, it's not going to be pretty.

Anyone who is potentially economically active but who is currently relying on the state to support them and who thinks that situation will continue is in for a nasty shock. The only way you can at least try to safeguard your future and your children's future is by working and providing for your own future.

So keep on working OP, the grass might look greener for your neighbour at the moment, but in a few years, you will be the one who is envied.

You can’t get your children’s childhood back. We are making economic based family policy rather than basing economic policy on developmental psychology and family needs.
At the long term policy level this is daft and is why the far left and far right is growing. Quality of life must be a key priority for policy makers.

The reality of being on benefits is that you can't plan for the future, your benefits can be stopped at any time without any notice, the first thing you know is when your money doesn't land in your bank. You are constantly worried that something will go wrong, dread the postman coming in case there is a brown envelope from the DWP. You can be forced to attend medical assessments where the assessor blatantly lies about your health conditions & gets away with it which results in you losing your money, leaves you housebound if they take your car away from you. Believe me it is no life of luxury, in many ways it isn't a life at all, it is an existence.

@PEkithelp

What about the infertile? Any help for them? Or are you saying that they should work themselves to the bone so that the fertile don’t have to work?

I didn’t mention those impacted by infertility either way. But since you mention it, everyone should have a good work-life balance. Currently we subsidise huge companies that pay little tax with our long hours culture and poor minimum wage.

There are some real cuntish comments on here And im saying that as a child free by choice woman.

Absolutely, living on benefits should always make you worse off than working.

I think that's arse about face. I think working should always make you better off than relying on benefits.

I just checked, and last year the total of child maintenance debt was about £2.5 BILLION.Maybe if more was done to enforce these payments from NRPs then benefits could be reduced!

Do you know the maximum maintenance allocation is only 7.5-20% of the non resident parent’s NET salary? They will need to do more than “enforcing” it for benefits not to be necessary.

I have an issue with people on benefits claiming they are financially contributing to society when they aren’t.

They still pay vat on non-food items. Essential stuff like toilet roll, toothpaste, cleaning materials etc carries vat at 20%. I think the vat on energy is still 20% too.

So yes, unless they live totally off-grid and buy everything from charity shops, people on benefits are contributing financially.

... and they may have paid enough taxes through work before they ended up in need of benefits.

I just checked, and last year the total of child maintenance debt was about £2.5 BILLION.Maybe if more was done to enforce these payments from NRPs then benefits could be reduced!

My ex doesn’t work or claim benefits cms can’t do anything about that so I don’t get a penny in maintenance and it’s been this way for years. There are no consequences for not paying maintenance

I think every household should make an effort to support themselves . A non working household shouldn’t be an option

Even the sick and disabled? What about carers? Are they exempt from your "Arbeit Macht Frei" world?

@PumpkinP why doesn’t he look after the kids then ?

@PumpkinP why doesn’t he look after the kids then ?

Look after them? He hasn’t seen them in 2 years! Sadly I can’t force him to see them and he doesn’t want to