Neighbour complains about us talking in our garden

[morningsarethebest]

Hi

First time poster, long time reader.

I live in a typical suburby house in London, with DH and DD (4y/o). DH had a rare morning off work (he works long hours so this really was a treat) and so I made a full breakfast for us in our garden. As common in London, our garden is surrounded by other gardens, with high fences all around.

DD was playing, and DH and I were chatting about his work and a small problem I've been having ordering meds for my elderly father. Suddenly, our neighbour started yelling "yoohooo!" at us and waving something around to get our attention. She then asked us "yohooo! could you have your conversation inside? I can hear what you're saying!"

I didn't think we were talking loudly or about anything particularly gory/interesting/inappropriate. I was so shocked I did stop talking. and after that we didn't really feel like being outside, our family breakfast was ruined.

AIBU to think that my neighbour was bang out of line? It's a private garden, we weren't doing anything more than a conversation midmorning on a Wednesday. I just feel so annoyed! I felt even more annoyed when there was full on noise coming from her house the day after as she's having something done to her conservatory. Building noise but it's a lot louder (and 6 hours longer) than me and my DH having a chat!

Happy to accept and move on if I am unreasonable here.

She had a funny way of telling you if her concern was that she could hear a private conversation. If I'm in my garden and the neighbours talk about something private then I tend to make a noise so they know I'm out there unless I want to listen of course

She had a funny way of telling you if her concern was that she could hear a private conversation. If I'm in my garden and the neighbours talk about something private then I tend to make a noise so they know I'm out there unless I want to listen of course

Just say, " we re happy in the garden, thank you." And carry on!

i would have assumed it was the content rather than disturbing her and simply said "its ok, I'm not saying anything secretive", if she then said we were disturbing her, and I was not speaking annoyingly loudly, that would be different. At least you are prepared next time to enquire politely about what the problem is.

If you weren't shouting why didn't you tell her to shut up, silly woman.
Up here we have conversations over the fence, sometimes even have a brew with our neighbour if he's out.
A conversation unless very private wouldn't get them twitching.
We are sitting out today in between housework and work.

Depends on how loud you were

She would hate to live next door to me then OP.
Me and my husband practically live in the garden in dry weather.
What with us chatting away and the dog standing up at the fence and peering over it to see what's occuring she would have a blue fit.
If she comes out again and asks you to go inside, just reply no, you're ok thanks, and carry on your convo.

Next time make sure you have your stereo turned up loud enough to drown out your conversation over the fence.

Our neighbourhood is similar, quite close quarters out back. There is a tacit understanding though that you mind your own business! And obviously don't talk about things you don't want the neighbours to hear. Just common sense really.

Do people really DO that? Grab a slice of toast and walk outside for the bus or train, or to get in the car, clutching hold of a piece of greasy, bitty toast?

Of course people do this. My preference, though, is the local drive-through Starbucks where I can get a croissant or similar for the drive. But a banana is my usual commuter breakfast. Much easier.

But the point is, yes, there is a difference between breakfast and a family breakfast.

I would say it's about the conversation you were having and not about the noise. What does your husband do for work and was it crossing a line with confidentiality and/or that you were talking about your father medication and maybe she didn't realize you were talking about your father and maybe thought you worked in a care home ect. Most elderly are more reserved and think things like that should be spoken indoors and not around children!! I work with the elderly so I have a little more understanding. I would just ask her in a light conversation and she will give you the reasons!!!

I’ve never seen that (with toast)!!!

If she'd been worried about your privacy, she wouldn't have asked you to go inside.

LOL at people saying 'What does your council say about noise?' and 'Were you talking too loudly?'

A conversation in a garden at 10.30am, even if you are talking in a loud voice, absolutely does not constitute 'noise'. You are allowed to have a conversation on your own property whenever you bloody want and you do not have to whisper.

To demand or expect anything approaching silence from your neighbours when they are in their garden is not remotely reasonable or normal and anyone whose garden adjoins another one has to accept that they will sometimes hear their neighbours talking, playing and mowing the lawn (and that their neighbours will also hear them).

Crikey another odd neighbour.

Our neighbours built a veranda on the back of their house and whenever they had visitors I would move down to another part of the garden so they had privacy. He came around one day to ask if he could change the fence to a higher on and I said no I wouldn't like that as our vegetable garden is there and we would lose light and therefore a problem growing veg. We own the fence.
So he built one a few inches his side and a different colour shading our veg.
I was livid. So now when they have friends around I don't bother moving to another bit of garden if I am already tending the veg garden.

I would do it again if I were you and if she complains say" We went in last time. Your turn this time we don't want our breakfast spoilt again."

I'd have shouted back at her 'Don't worry love, we weren't talking about you for once you mad bint '

I'm starting to think half the planet are completely batshit crazy.

Just after reading another thread now where because a poster drank a bottle of wine last night (Yes, one WHOLE BOTTLE), there are several posters telling her that she needs to keep an eye on her drinking

Between that and Yoohoo here, I do wonder what planet some of you are living on.

Let's hope it was a clumsy attempt to warn you she could hear your conversation. My ndn sit out with a drink* into the wee small hours and wake people up in an area with larger gardens.

• Seems louder after a couple of drinks.

I'd go into the garden every day from now on and put some music on and sing along to it. If she says something to you again then tell her you're well within your rights to do that in your own garden in the day time.

Yoo hoo neighbourino! Could you keep your weird thoughts inside your head? You actually said that out loud, and we can hear you from the garden.