to do something about DH's eating (arfid)

[Gannicusthemannicus]

Since DP was about 3, he has only eaten plain pizza, chips, just anything beige and plain. He does not eat any fruits, veg, or any meat that isn't in a burger or a nugget. He is also very defensive of it, unless I catch him in the right mood so it is very difficult for me to ask questions about it, he says that's just 'how he's always been'. He was diagnosed with mild ASD as a child, mainly based on his eating and when I mention his eating, or we go to an event where they don't serve his foods, I can see he immediately panics about the idea of trying things and will instead not go.

Having seen the interview with the blind teenager on this morning, I am more concerned than ever and I believe he has ARFID, either with or instead of ASD.
I also have a very healthy diet, and was brought up in a strict house where my parents forced me eat everything, and told me kids who were picky had weak parents. I know this isn't true but I worry its making me unsympathetic. On the other hand, I do wonder if its become so bad because no one pushed him to try and just accepted he didn't eat as a child.

I've asked him to take multivitamins but all the help I've seen is for children. How do you get help for an adult with ARFID, or should I just leave him be? I'm so worried that he is cutting years off his life with his diet.

My standard as a child were:
Breakfast: specific cereal
Lunch: tomato soup, cheese and bread
Dinner: pasta and cheese
Drink: milk. Gallons and gallons of milk.

My grownup safe foods are:
Spaghetti with chilli and garlic. My current go to food. Eaten it 4 times this week (dh been away)
Salami.
If I'm working away- curry, this is specifically sainsbury curry and I'll eat half.
If there's no safe food then hot chocolate.

There's other food that I will eat, but it requires more effort. When I'm bad I'd rather go hungry that make the effort to get food.

Thank you.

Is there a known (or perceived known) link between AFRID and ASD? Or are they independent? It sounds like it’s a lot to do with anxiety and control rather than straight forward food aversion/ fussy eating

I believe I have sensory processing issues (DC diagnosed and OT commented that I exhibited similar behaviour while in with him.) This is a massive thing for me- my food issues are around texture and over stimulation elsewhere (I can't eat in a noisy place for example)

ASD is suspected for ds2. He's a mini me.

DS has this. I didn't know until I started using MN how intolerant people were about this. It doesn't really affect other people surely?
The news reports about the blindness are scary & DS does drink smoothies and take vitamins. But otherwise is very restricted.
Thanks for starting the thread.

Ds has a genetic syndrome, and his restricted diet seems to be tied in with reflux, constipation, slow gut transit, sensory issues, autistic tendencies and anxiety.
His food choices are very limited, to particular brands and he has a preference for hard bite textures.
He gets very anxious about smells and noises when he eats. He can only eat small amounts due to his reflux and if his stomach is bad his eating becomes even worse.
We have tried every vitamin we can get hold of and many fortified foods, but they are all refused.

@Paddingtonthebear no, not all the same colour or texture, there is a strong correlation between ARFID and ASD. There's also a strong correlation with super tasters which I am. It means that hiding other items in safe foods will often be detected and that food is now off the menu.

Yes, if ds's food is 'tampered with' it gets dropped...so impossible to hide vitamins, meds etc. He looks at a food like a scientist peering through a microscope and will sniff it, and sometimes very tentatively lick it.

Also ds tends to have cycle of what he will eat...so he will want to eat A particular food every day, then that food will be dropped and another one take its place.

@converseandjeans how can you read this thread and think ARFID affects only the sufferer? It's not a matter of blame - there is no blame attached to the condition - but for many it effects the who family. My friends dd has it and it not only restricts her life but that of her mum and sister too. Everything revolves around her poor health and every trip away from home has to be planned so there are v particular foodstuffs available. And the constant stress in case a certain product is discontinued or the recipe changed.

affects

I thought that converse&jeans meant, 'it doesn't affect other people'...ie the people who are being intolerant on the thread, rather than the people in the lives of the person with arfid.

Oh - yes that makes sense.

That is tough. He def needs to start at the GP and some therapy for the food issues.
While DS doesn’t have this ARFID he is very sensory with food and will smell it first and won’t eat or even be near certain foods/smells. He’s a teen but was a lot worse as a young child. Thankfully he’s always liked most fruit and vegetables.
I’m sure that not eating the above or/and taking vitamin supplements will have a long-term effect on health so I would try and get help for him.
Also agree there’s no such thing as mild ASD, there is just ASD. Effects people in different ways but it’s all the same diagnosis.

PAddingtonthebear my DS doesn't seem to mind colourful foods, although he prefers foods deconstructed and can just about tolerate safe foods touching each other.

He eats almost all fruits, tomatoes and cucumbers, no vegetables at all, some dairy (yogurt, specific cheese), pasta, noodles and rice, fish fingers from time to time, home made schnitzel but only commercially made chicken nuggets (go figure with that one - I wonder if sometimes he makes a strong connection between a 'good' food and a particular place, e.g. soft play and nuggets becomes the nuggets at soft play but nowhere else), sausages, especially the highly processed ones, salami, ham, some biscuits, some cakes and almost all pick and mix candy, even some totally bizarre flavours. I do worry about him eating processed meat but in his case it's processed meat or no protein so it's not much of a choice.

His safe foods have expanded a lot since we started DoR, before he was dropping foods all the time and we were down to 21, very specific space foods, e.g. star pasta and no other pasta. Now he will eat all shapes of pasta.

He does vomit in response to strong smells. He vomited when he walked in a noodle bar with an open kitchen, the vets and other places. That is also a very difficult aspect of ARFID to deal with.

How are you getting on OP? I know this is an old thread but my DH is the same and I'm struggling with the impact it's having on the kids.