To pump on the train?

[jamtomorrow1]

My train journey is an hour each way. There are plug sockets. I feel that this is wasted expressing time and also my boobs hurt. Part of me fears getting the buzzing Tommee Tippee pump out but part of me really wants to see the facial expressions of the elderly male commuters around me. Thoughts?

You know what I keep coming back to? That men can use a train shirtless and nobody would give it a second thought. If the sun is out, and they're hot, shirts come off. We're talking about women trying to continue to be able to feed their children, or trying to avoid being in physical pain through mastitis. Slightly bigger issues than being a bit hot. And yet the response is totally different. Make sure you're entirely covered up. Don't let anyone see anything. Don't even let them hear you. If anyone even glances at you, you've attracted their attention, you terrible attention-seeking harlot.

I'm a childless commuter. I could not give a flying fuck if a woman is pumping whilst doing a titty-dance, as long as I can get on and off the train at my stop. In fact, I'd go further: I'd like women to be as free to get their nipples out on a hot summer day, as men are.

Honestly, this thread is one of the most depressing things I've read.

@whotellsyou - seriously? The most depressing thing you’ve ever read? Do you not read newspapers or internet articles about all the tragic things that happen every day ? Yet this, a debate about using a breast pump on a train is depressing. Wow.

It is depressing.

Woman trying to do the best for her baby in a culture that’s supposed to be supportive of bfing is told she’s selfish, attention seeking, inconsiderate, ‘me, me, me’ and she isn’t really bfing anyway.

Anyone surprised are rates are so shit? I know I’m not

That men can use a train shirtless and nobody would give it a second thought.

seriously? I don't think that's true at all. I'm not saying the outrage would be the same but I think people don't want a shirtless man next to them on the train on a hot day. I would move.

Shit example as no one wants to sit near a shirtless man either. Especially as the demographics of men that take their shirts of during hot weather tend to be drunk/loud/rowdy etc, like men on a match days. It’s definitely not the normal thing to do.

Until men stop regarding women’s breasts as sexual objects there will always be stigma attached to it unfortunately. And when will they stop? 12th of Never probably

Rates are also shit Laurie because the support in hospitals for new mothers is s abysmal in many areas. Women end up exhausted, in a lot of pain etc and give up . That’s why rates are low not just because people are worried about feeding/ pumping breast milk in public. I’m not sure I fed much at all in public but it never stopped me doing anything I just sat in car, quiet corner. Much better than in a noisy place as baby was distracted by noise and would latch off leaving exposed boob .

Rates are also shit Laurie because the support in hospitals for new mothers is s abysmal in many areas.

I completely agree. We were told during our antenatal classes (NHS) that our hospital was a pro breastfeeding hospital and to expect forceful encouragement to BF.

That turned out to be a pile of shite. Within 24 hours they started trying to persuade me to give DD formula as my milk hadn't come in yet. After 48 hours and under the impression that DD would die otherwise I gave in and she was given formula. It completely fucked up our start to BF and required expressing 8 times a day to establish my supply myself as they were filling my baby with formula so she wasn't telling my body to make more milk. I thought we would be unusual but in talking to my Antenatal group a few weeks later it transpired that all but 2 of us had been strongly encouraged to give formula in the first few days

Rates are also shit Laurie because the support in hospitals for new mothers is s abysmal in many areas.

True, but a culture where women are told they’re selfish and attention seeking for pumping on the train isn’t exactly helping either.

Until men stop regarding women’s breasts as sexual objects...

To be fair, women themselves regard them as sexual objects.

@Johnjoeseph, god the last thing I am is bitter! It’s almost 25 bloody years ago and the second one fed like babies are “supposed” to. I don’t see how I’m trying to make anyone feel like a failure 🤷‍♀️.

@Celebelly saying pumping is somehow “more worthy” than breastfeeding is unfair. My point was that it was bad enough being told I was crap because I couldn’t breastfeed, but you’re now saying that pumping is even better than breastfeeding. Really? Really??! So all the people who can’t breastfeed should just try harder, and then they would be as wonderful as all you amazing pumpers. We just weren’t dedicated enough, is that it? Because that’s how you are coming across.

I'm sorry but you clearly are still bitter, which is very sad As you say, it was a long time ago, so let it go! Neither is more worthy than the other (you seem to have an obsession with 'worth', which I think speaks volumes on its own), but pumping is often a lot harder than breastfeeding, particularly when you're doing it because your child is unable to feed direct from the breast for whatever reason. I did it for three months and I am in awe of anyone who does it for longer because it's bloody gruelling. To dismiss pumping as 'not breastfeeding' or some of the other comments you've made is very short-sighted and unfortunately quite ignorant as to why people pump.

You have a chip on your shoulder. Perhaps you don't realise you do, but it's painfully obvious in every post you make.

saying pumping is somehow “more worthy” than breastfeeding is unfair.

Pumping is a huge amount of effort, all the faff none of the ease of bfing.

You’re making this all about you and your situation. It’s not. No one is making any judgements about people who don’t pump. It’s possible to praise someone for their efforts in isolation without making any comments on anyone else.

You have a chip on your shoulder. Perhaps you don't realise you do, but it's painfully obvious in every post you make.

I totally agree with this.

As for levels of 'dedication', I have no idea what anyone else's circumstances are. Perhaps some people would have been able to breastfeed if they persevered with pumping every three hours, but it's extremely hard work and not feasible for everyone to do, so it's entirely understandable that people don't/can't.

I didn't think I would ever be able to breastfeed but I managed in the end and yes, that's because I kept pumping for three months round the clock to maintain supply because it was important to me. It was something I was passionate about and I worked hard at it. That's got nothing to do with anyone else's choices.

For the record, I did minimal pumping. I wouldn’t have lasted a week if I’d been pumping exclusively.

Pumping does have its upsides. DD has always taken a bottle, which is handy now she's older, and in those early days when DP was off on paternity leave, he was able to feed her while I pumped or had a lie in. I also missed out on cluster feeding and I was able
to have the odd evening out relatively early.

But I also suffered from frequent painful clogged ducts, had to plan trips around not being out too long to miss a pumping session and become engorged, and wake up before DD woke up overnight so I could pump so she could eat right away when she woke. I also couldn't easily hold her while pumping so trying to find the right time to pump was always tricky!

I pump once before bed now each day just so there's some in fridge for DP to give her in morning and that is more than enough for me now!

@jamtomorrow1 I had a spectra S1 double pump
OP. I would say it's fairly quiet, definitely more quiet than my swing was. Would love an Elvie though!

They are quite a bit bigger than the standard pumps as hospital grade but rechargeable so fine for the train, plane, car etc. Wherever you need to pump. The M6 was always a favourite of mine when pumping for DD

your car is one thing. I'll say this for nothing, if I had to sit and listen to the drone of a breast pump next to me on a train, I'd be bloody annoyed. Couldn't care less about seeing someone's bosom but I do mind a lot about noise. I did pump much as DD was a staunch bottle-refuser but the pump I had made a racket.

didn't!

There’s people who eat crisps much noisier than the sound of a decent breast pump! I used to get the same train every evening as a woman who would demolish a grab bag of crisps with the enthusiasm of a Labrador. The noise drove me mad. I could always hear her if she was in the same carriage as me. Shed definitely drown out all the pumps I’ve heard. I couldn’t ask her to stop though because oddly, unlike pumping as is apparent from this post, it’s frowned upon to take issue with noisy eaters in public.

I don’t think pumping makes an annoying noise unless the pump squeaks. Noisy chomping is the pits though!!!!! Crisps, apples 🍏, nuts, biscuits grrrrrrr

So what? 2 wrongs don’t make a right. I travel on the trains a lot and I’m getting fed up to the back teeth of other people’s anti-social noise. And I’d put a breast pump in that bracket. Noise wise it’s no different to people listening to their music without headphones or FaceTiming someone loudly - or being a noisy eater (rare, in my experience, can’t think of the last time I was faced with a noisy eater and I’m on the train every weekday).

If you can pump quietly, knock yourself out. Noisily - nope, not appropriate.

And there’s nothing to stop you from saying something to a noisy eater, or moving away from them. That’s your choice to suck it up and seethe.

Noise wise it’s no different to people listening to their music without headphones or FaceTiming someone loudly - or being a noisy eater (rare, in my experience, can’t think of the last time I was faced with a noisy eater and I’m on the train every weekday).

Of course it is. The repetitive mechanical noise of a pump is completely different from those things and I don’t believe you’d even hear them over the background noise of a train running either. They sound loud in a quiet room at home, but in other environments you’d have to try very hard to hear it at all.

A manual pump would likely be worse - IME they start squeaking pretty quick, and that repeated squeak is unbearable

I have a pretty awful reaction to the sound of a breast pump in a quiet room after the amount of pumping I did - I still wouldn’t expect a woman not to pump in my vicinity, because I’m not an utterly selfish arsehole.

I'd have absolutely no issue with someone pumping on a train.

As for the noise, you are in a space with other people. Noise happens, whether it be people talking, eating or whatever. If you don't like it, move seats.