To pump on the train?

[jamtomorrow1]

My train journey is an hour each way. There are plug sockets. I feel that this is wasted expressing time and also my boobs hurt. Part of me fears getting the buzzing Tommee Tippee pump out but part of me really wants to see the facial expressions of the elderly male commuters around me. Thoughts?

I wouldn’t have done it myself (too shy) but I wouldn’t mind if someone was doing it.

I don't think a lot of people on this thread get how breastfeeding/pumping works. You pump for 3 reasons, to produce milk to feed your baby when you are apart (or if your baby has problems latching), to keep milk supply up (eg you want to carry on feeding but need to work some days) and to reduce engorgement when you are apart (if you don't do this firstly it's very painful and if you leave it a long time you risk getting mastitis, which is hell let me tell you).

There seems to be an attitude on this thread that it's optional and done just to seek attention. Granted breastfeeding is optional but you can't just stop all day because you have something on, your body will carry on making milk and your boobs just get fuller and fuller. You might be able to sit in a toilet for 40 minutes (that's how long it took me with a single pump) a few times a day but if you are doing that 6 times a day you'll be sat hiding in that toilet an awful lot.

Whenever I used a pump it was because I was out doing things, a concert, a sporting event etc, I hadn't paid money to sit in a toilet so I used my pump on public transport on the way there and I'd often do it sat watching whatever it was. I did it because I had to, not because I love carrying a breast pump around to whip out in public places.

I think the OP’s comment although she later “ retracted” it shows that that was her mentality regarding the situation. She said part of her was hoping for negative attention. She may say sorry and withdraw the comment but that was her thought process and I imagine it’s unlikely to have changed that radically. She’ll be sorry because she’s realised she’s undermined her point by being a dick. That’s what people are responding too.

Stop assuming also that people don’t understand the intricacies of breast feeding and pumping. Many of us have done it and had mastitis and thrush of the nipples both of which are total bastards. Many of us have been there and done it. Just get on with it and stop crowing about it ffs!

Pumping mothers have lives too. Should they hide indoors because you don’t think it’s ‘acceptable’ for some reason?

Literally no one said that

It's the response taken by some, because literally no one has a problem with it as long as it's done in a discreet dignified manner. It's this "I can and will expose myself as much as I like providing I can link it to breastfeeding and if anyone dares suggest it's unnecessary, it's their fault for looking, pervy bastard, and they clearly want my child to starve" tripe. Again, no one cares, it's abour being respectful to the fact other members of society are around you in a public place. And particularly on a train where it's often quite confined. No they shouldn't have to "not look". Because people only look, even accidentally, if you're drawing attention to yourself, goes for anything, not just using a breast pump. If they're looking, you're causing them to look.

Does anyone care you've slipped a pump on under your clothes/cover? Nope. Does anyone think it's wrong? Nope. Would anyone have the first idea you were using one if you did it in a mindful way? Nope. Exposing a breast on public transport which is entirely unnecessary then telling people they've got a problem if they look under the reasoning that breastfeeding/pumping is what's best for you and your child is nonsense, because it's got nothing to do with how you feed your child, again no one cares the "looks" are because you've unnecessarily exposed yourself and this caused people to look at you.

I breastfed and pumped. Both at home and in public. Never got a look. Never got stared at. Never gave people a reason too. So it begs the question, if you've got a problem with people looking, and it's so easy to be discreet, why choose not to be... because it's a choice. Your choice.

This is exactly the same as people who let their kids run around restaurants being disruptive then claim it's everyone else's problem and clearly they don't like children to excuse the unnecessary behaviour. On the "don't look" logic, if people don't want to be around your kids behaviour, they should infact leave. "It's natural. It's what children do". No. It's what children are allowed to do when the adults they are with have no consideration for the public place they are in, or the other people in it.

Feed your kid. Pump away. Have some consideration for others in a confined public space. It's that simple.

i can and will expose myself as much as I like providing I can link it to breastfeeding and if anyone dares suggest it's unnecessary, it's their fault for looking, pervy bastard, and they clearly want my child to starve

Literally no one said anything even remotely like that.

back at you.

Though plenty telling the OP it’s not appropriate to feed on a train.

If they're looking, you're causing them to look.

And this is total bollocks by the way. There are all kinds of idiots out there.

Also the type of statement that could so easily drift into victim shaming.

A good use of time! Do it!

I am not normally a dreadful person but the last three months of commuting whilst heavily pregnant and quite uncomfortable introduced me to a lot of men who wouldn’t give up their seats when sitting in the designated pregnant lady spot.

Did you say anything to them? That's disgraceful

Literally no one said that

Apologies for coming back to this statement, but posters saying it’s unacceptable on a train are more or less saying that.

New mum back at work, life is hella busy, a work environment is not necessarily the most supportive and can’t always guarantee time to pump.

What else is she supposed to do?

I’m pretty sure legally work have to provide a space for feeding/ pumping for nursing mothers. Maybe tackle that problem which would solve the need to worry about pumping on a train!

Once again, for those at the back.

Feed your kid. Pump away. Have some consideration for others in a confined public space. It's that simple.

I’m pretty sure legally work have to provide a space for feeding/ pumping for nursing mothers

Maybe, but you know how it is in reality.

Reports need to get finished, meetings called at difficult times, conference calls that need to suit the wider team.

Plus new mum is running out the door for nursery pickup so not exactly flush with time.

And I still have no idea what’s wrong with pumping on the train. If we concede it’s ok to BF on the train, what’s the big difference?

Have some consideration for others in a confined public space. It's that simple.

In what sense is a pumping mother not ‘having consideration’? Is she waving her boobs in their face?

part of me really wants to see the facial expressions of the elderly male commuters around me

wow, your reasoning is a bit weird.

I pumped (under a cover) on a plane, train and once in the corner of a pub which had loud music playing. Nobody batted and eye at any point, I don't think they even realised, it was so noisy the sound was drowned out and they were getting on with their own lives. I didn't even consider the fact that it might not be acceptable, anywhere you could breast feed a baby you should be able to pump. A pump makes less noise than a screaming hungry baby would. I can't imagine anyone wanting to pump without a cover on, but I admit that would be strange.

It's the crowing about it. The song and dance.

OP even says part of me really wants to see the facial expressions of the elderly male commuters around me

Which she then tries to retract, but she's part of that attention seeking movement, who oh so loudly insist they're nothing of the sort, just so they can churn out the "I'm only feeding my child, ohhhhh I shouldn't have a life then, I should be in a dark room hidden away for daring to pump, excuuuuse me". They revel in the idea that they are unchallengeable if anything can be connected to feeding a baby. They know perfectly well what they're doing.

And do you know who else does? The other 3 women on that train using a pump and breastfeeding. The ones you haven't even noticed. Because it's entirely unnoticeable unless you go out of your way to be noticed. So, if you have the choice to do something unnoticed with an identical end result and get zero reaction from the public around you, or to do something in a way that draws attention, then you're choosing the attention.

On the train back from London there was a chap with a fresh tattoo on his arm. I know this because he had a vest top on and his arm out, wrapped in cling film. You couldn't not look. Not that I'm remotely interested. Every time the sun came out it shone off the film. The woman in the seat opposite could probably see it bleeding. He chose to snap at her "never seen a tattoo before?"

Yes dear. We all have. No one cares about your tattoo. And if you just put that hoody on, that you're not wearing deliberately, no one would have any idea. We've all seen an arm before. We're not gawping at your body. But if you want to expose it like that in a public place, when you've got the choice to cover it, don't act professionally offended when people notice. Just show a bit of respect that we don't want to look, but you're almost ensuring that you're catching our eyeline all the way home, and please, lose your attitude because you choose to make yourself noticed. Pop your top on and get on with it. No. One. Cares.

I agree with Courtneys post

I'm a commuter and the way I see it about consideration is would the pumping affect/bother people. We're in a cramped space, no opening windows, heading to/from a job for necessity. Most people are just wanting to quietly get about their day. If OP was next to/opposite me and the pump made a noise then I could find that annoying. Limited space, changing the pumps, would OP elbow me etc whilst doing it. Similarly if people were uncomfortable, most of the time you can't just get away because you're packed in to your seat/standing spot.

The OP apologised for her comment and not a single thing she or anyone else has said on this thread would suggest ‘crowing’ about pumping.

Why would anyone ‘crow’ or attention seek about pumping? That’s what I don’t get. It’s not exactly a pleasant experience. Have you ever done it?

Most people are just wanting to quietly get about their day.

True. And the OP is just trying to feed her child the best way she knows how, while also working a demanding job. It’s not easy to maintain bfing while doing that.

Would you have an issue if she was bfing in the seat beside you?

YABU, that’s gross.
And I mean the train rather than pumping in public. So dirty.

I'm not endorsing pumping and driving as I said, I doubt I would do the same now but I'm much older and would be assertive at work.
Back then I was so desperate to keep my job I did what I could.

The point I was trying to make is the time it takes when having to work makes every opportunity ok.
I worked out for those four months I needed 26.5 hours a day. I didn't enjoy sitting in burger king drive through car park, pumping milk, eating junk and crying. I had to cross town, change uniform, get lunch and sign in in 45 minutes.
It's like triple breast feeding and that's before stupid hormones act up.

I'm not entirely sure what the difference is though.

One is actually feeding a child. The other clearly is not.

And op as you said you just want to do it for attention seeking purposes then that alone says you're being unreasonable.

I breastfed and pumped. Both at home and in public. Never got a look. Never got stared at. Never gave people a reason too. So it begs the question, if you've got a problem with people looking, and it's so easy to be discreet, why choose not to be... because it's a choice. Your choice.

So because you never had an issue, no one could possibly have an issue unless they’re hurling their boobs about? That’s such crap.

The other clearly is not.

Pumping is feeding a child though. Do you not get that?

The act of pumping a) provides milk b) keeps supply up c) keeps the mother healthy and well.

If you pump a lot, you absolutely need to do it regularly otherwise it’s not going to work out for you. Your supply can dry up, you can get mastitis.

So much education is needed on this topic. This thread makes depressing reading.