1st birthday etiquette

[Pungifries]

Posting for traffic really. FTM so not really sure of etiquette.
I’m having a meal at a local family restaurant with play area for my DS first birthday. It’s not a kids party as such, no entertainment/ party games etc just a meal and get together with quite a large group of friends and family.
Not really sure of paying etiquette...do you think we should
A) pay for everyone (approx 45 people)
B) pay for kids (approx 20)
C) get wine/ drinks for the table
D) nice party bags and nice thank you cards after?

TIA xx

The arguing on here re "correct" etiquette is batshit. The mixed responses show its clearly a grey area and the OP would be wise to clarify.

Everyone has just started automatically reaching for their purses once it's the end of the meal.

Never once have I seen friends or even guests reaching for their purse after a meal I"ve invited them to!

Do you also expect guests to pay when you throw a kids birthday party? Do parents really come to give you money to cover entrance of whatever it is and food? Never seen one that happening either.

Again, I live on another planet, where hosts who INVITE find it normal to ... host. Completely different from a group deciding to meet up and where everybody pays their share.

I'd love to see the face of my team at work if, after telling them that I am taking them all out for a drink, I give them a bill! Bet that would start a different thread on MN

Again, I live on another planet, where hosts who INVITE find it normal to ... host.

I'd love to see the face of my team at work if, after telling them that I am taking them all out for a drink

But this is where it just comes down to a difference in language. If someone said to me they wanted to "take me to dinner" then I would take that as meaning they intended to pay. Something you infer from the word invitation. Although I can't really see anyone saying something as formal as "I'd like to invite you to dinner" to me!

Asking people to your house automatically makes you the host so of course you cover it. Asking people to meet up in a restaurant doesn't. Which is why the OP ought to clarify.

FrauHaribo this is a genuine question, because I am fascinated in how these things are clearly differently interpreted, who.would you expect to pay in this scenario which is a real one from this week for me.

My boss and another colleague happened to be visiting the theatre in a city near where I live and meeting for drinks and dinner beforehand. This was them, both their DPs and boss's parents. I couldn't join them for the theatre (childcare) as they knew but they "invited" me to join them earlier. Phrased something like "Well be in Pizza Express for dinner on Tuesday do you want to join us. Would be good to see you". It was verbally done so I can't quite directly.

Until this thread it wouldn't have crossed my mind I was being asked out and being paid for. But as I was "invited" to an already agreed place and time would you have thought you were bing paid for? Or not because it wasnt for a birthday or similar?

I think "invite" can be completely interpreted. Is when you ask to meet a friend in a restaurant inviting? Is saying "want to come and spend new years eve at my house?" An invite? Cause in both of these scenarios our social group splits the bill. How about going to somebody's party and asking to bring your own bottle? Is that rude?
I think this whole thing very much depends on your social group.