To try to cycle inoffensively?

[Confrontayshunme]

My DD started a new school about 1.5 miles from our house. We don't own a car, and my husband and I cycle everywhere. I am a VERY law abiding cyclist and super conscientious not to make drivers or pedestrians angry. To this end, I never zoom around cars at intersections and endeavour to actually just get out of the way at all times. I frequently stop and just get off the road to keep from annoying drivers. Please don't just start with the cyclist bashing, as I am really desperately trying to do the right thing and not annoy people.

The problem is that the shared pedestrian/cycle path between our home and school is closed for about a year for building works. There is a partial cycle lane for a bit of our journey, but car parking on both sides makes it too narrow for cars to go around if DD and I both go on the road, but I can't be near her on pavement due to said cars parking and it being a very narrow pavement.

DD is 7 and very confident riding and stopping and listening to me, but I am struggling not to get shouted at by motorists. I am definitely NOT doing anything illegal, but I just think busy people near a school and industrial estate in a 20mph zone = a lot of verbal criticism and stress for all.

I have done all of the following and been shouted at by drivers for every option.

AIBU to ask which of these is the LEAST anger-inducing for drivers (particularly industrial vans, since we are by an estate)?

1. Child on pavement in neon jerkin and me on bike going a slowish 8mph (but cars can go around at 20 if no cars on opposite lane).
2. Child in front of me on road (not visible to drivers so I can see why they yelled at me for being slow). This feels the safest to me, fyi.
3. Child in neon jerkin to the left of me, visible to drivers but only small cars able to go around due to both of us being on narrow road.

OR (haven't done this)

1. Both of us on pavement (though technically against code for me to be there and there are pedestrians).

I really do welcome any advice as I can't seem to get it right. Recently, on a marked bike lane near us, a car screeched its brakes like it was going to hit my DD then laughed out the window and shouted "f---ing cyclists" so I am desperate to get it right so my DD is safe.

A friend said to just go on the pavement as long as the shared path is closed, but that feels like breaking the code and I really don't want to.

Pavement all the way. But you have every right to be on the road. This is the impatient drivers problem not yours. Just stay safe.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this - FWIW you have every right to be on the road, and even if it means drivers have to slow down or pass you, it's their responsibility to do it safely. Swerving, shouting or making you think they're going to run you off the road is not acceptable, and you should report it to the police.

That said, I get that as you're riding with a child, you might not want to assert your right to the road around dangerous and illegal drivers. In your situation, I'd probably ride (slowly, carefully) on the pavement if there aren't many pedestrians around. I would definitely consider reporting it to your local council or police safer neighbourhood team though, it really isn't okay for people to drive like this.

Sounds like you're doing everything right and that the problem isn't you, but the drivers you encounter. I know it's hard to deal with drivers like that and can really damage your confidence and enjoyment of cycling, but just remember, they're in the wrong, not you, try not to take it personally.

As for your options: I'd be reluctant to suggest option 4, as technically you shouldn't be on the pavement, and I think more cyclists on the pavement just creates more tensions with pedestrians. At the same time, while something is unlikely to happen, you want to make sure your DD is safe. So option 1 seems the best one: you abide by the law, but you know your DD is as safe as she can be.

1.5 miles isn't that far, you could walk instead

Unfortunately many motorists are simply offended by your existence and will do whatever they can to make it miserable (or even kill or injure you and your children in a tiny minority of cases).

I've found the best compromise when cycling with children is to; use low trafficked routes (it minimises the number of vehicles and the drivers on them are already less stressed). Use segregated cycle lanes where they are continuous for significant periods (I avoid ones that keep having driveways and side-roads that have priority; since it puts the onus on you to check 3 different directions just to carry straight on...) And teach your children good observational and motorist prediction skills; for those times when they spot something that you don't.

Failing that move to a country that is less hostile to cyclists.

For what its worth I use '2' - child in front when on the roads. Its pretty clear to motorists behind you that there is a child in front apart from very brief periods where you are perfectly aligned from the motorists point of view.

We could walk, but I have a pram-averse toddler at the moment, and my husband needs her to cycle for speed in the morning as he does drop offs. It would be a good forty minute walk each way as the walk is longer. Cycling saves us about an hour a day in commuting with a child, plus she likes it.

You should be able to use the road, but realistically putting a slow-moving child cyclist on the road during rush hour is not a good idea. Walk or cycle on the pavement.

Unfortunately, this IS the low traffic route until the shared path reopens. The other option is an A road!

Child on the pavement you on the road - is that an option?

I think in your circumstances, as a temporary thing while the cycle lane is closed, I would use the pavement for both of you. Cycle sensibly/slowly so you can watch for pedestrians. Technically, it is an offence, but police are meant to exercise discretion when it comes to kids and bikes on pavements.

If you want to stick to the absolute letter of teh law, then option 2 is the correct one, and angry motorists just need to get over themselves. Even if they have to wait a minute or two to get past you, there are very journeys which are so important that this short delay actually has a genuine impact.

As it is a week day put your child on the pavement.

If it was a weekend I would say put your child on the road.

This is because your child's safety is paramount and there are more idiot drivers in a rush during school drop off time.

There are a few parents in my area who cycle with their children on the roads in the week, but they always start their journeys before 7.15am.

Hi viz jacket with child ahead/ in front written on it. Perhaps the local paper would be interested in your dilemma- an article would raise awareness.

I'd worry with option 2 that an impatient/bad driver would pull out to get past you and pull into where your DD would be not expecting a second cyclist - especially a one smaller/easier to miss than you.

To be honest I do sometimes find myself wondering whether I should give up doing the school run by bike and just by a car to do the couple of miles to school.

The other question is whether you can collect earlier - I use the school's before school club so that we're on the roads well before rush-hour starts.

Both of you on road.

You could go on the pavement if there are no pedestrians but the simple truth is that there is always some busybody having a go.

As a cyclist you are never welcome. Drivers don't want you on the road. Dog walkers don't want you on canal towpaths. Pedestrians go all over cycle paths. You can't win so use the road. If the road is a 20 limit it isn't very car-friendly anyway and I'd have thought they'd choose the faster A road.

Oh, and you can ride two abreast unless it is very narrow. It forces cars to pull into the opposite carriageway to overtake (which they should be doing anyway, rather than making a close pass) and it avoids the issue of them not seeing your child (though I'm not sure how they can't see both of you).

I do think it is odd as my husband has no problems in the morning as cars can only park on the opposite side of the road before 9, and I think most of the industrial estate doesn't have hours until 9 or 10. So basically he cycles on her right with her by the kerb and no problems. It is just quite busy around pickup time.

I would ignore the shouters and I certainly wouldn't ask for advice on MN, which has demonstrated itself to be virulently anti-cyclist.

Do what works best for you and your DS.

Option 2 and put one of those great long flag poles on your DD's bike.

I cycle slightly more into the road than my DS (in front of me), which should enable cars to see him.

Is it really hard for cars to pass for the whole 1.5 miles?

If you are in England then they haven't been back at school that long, so it might calm down a bit.

Do you also wear a high-viz?

Is most of the traffic going to your DD's school? If so, you could ask the school to put something in the newsletter.

Are there signs as you get nearer the school advising motorists there is a school approaching?

I would cycle both on the road, with dd in front. This is where you should be. I second the idea of a tall flag stick for dd.

Pavements aren't for cyclists although most people would let dc go an adult really shouldn't be there.

Some drivers are just arses, if your dd is going to cycle she might as well learn to ignore them now.

I would cycle more assertively.
You have have every right to be there.
At lot of times women are injured on the road because they try and keep as far to left as possible.

Both on road. Middle of the lane either for both of you or you on right of daughter.
Big flag on daughter's bike.
Ignore the rude people beeping you or shouting at you - we should all be cycling more.

I am a cyclist too and I would say n2. I see a lot of parents with kids on the road (I'm in London) and it is better for both of your to be on the said road. Also I did cycle training and the first thing I was told is that you have as much right as other vehicles to be on the road to 'own your space'.

Generally you should ride defensively on roads, being too meek is one of the reasons more female cyclists get killed as they are less assertive than male riders. But I agree with you and pull in to let cars pass and try to be polite in sharing the road.

Having said which even if you are doing nothing wrong you will probably get shouted at by some motorists - goes with the territory as some people simply don’t understand they need to share the road.

I cycle with my 7 year old in London to school. We ride on the pavement along the busier roads as he’s bit visible and it’s not safe. It’s slow as we need to stop and slow for pedestrians who clearly have priority.

On quieter roads we ride on the road. We go two abreast with me on the outside. We don’t delay traffic as the roads are quiet and there are several junctions so it’s good for him to practice signalling and watching. Where I can I will ride on the road and my kid is on the pavement and our route has a combo of all three scenarios - in short we do whatever is the safest for us and other road users/ pedestrians depending on the conditions.

When I’m not with him I ride on the road - really no need for a competent adult to be on the pavement.

So I suggest that you ride slowly on the pavement if it’s safest, but if your child has good skills they could try quiet roads and ignore any shouting if you are obeying the Highway Code. But drivers do expect you to be faster on the road so riding two abreast can help as they are more likely to see your child and also give you space when overtaking.