To try to cycle inoffensively?

[Confrontayshunme]

My DD started a new school about 1.5 miles from our house. We don't own a car, and my husband and I cycle everywhere. I am a VERY law abiding cyclist and super conscientious not to make drivers or pedestrians angry. To this end, I never zoom around cars at intersections and endeavour to actually just get out of the way at all times. I frequently stop and just get off the road to keep from annoying drivers. Please don't just start with the cyclist bashing, as I am really desperately trying to do the right thing and not annoy people.

The problem is that the shared pedestrian/cycle path between our home and school is closed for about a year for building works. There is a partial cycle lane for a bit of our journey, but car parking on both sides makes it too narrow for cars to go around if DD and I both go on the road, but I can't be near her on pavement due to said cars parking and it being a very narrow pavement.

DD is 7 and very confident riding and stopping and listening to me, but I am struggling not to get shouted at by motorists. I am definitely NOT doing anything illegal, but I just think busy people near a school and industrial estate in a 20mph zone = a lot of verbal criticism and stress for all.

I have done all of the following and been shouted at by drivers for every option.

AIBU to ask which of these is the LEAST anger-inducing for drivers (particularly industrial vans, since we are by an estate)?

1. Child on pavement in neon jerkin and me on bike going a slowish 8mph (but cars can go around at 20 if no cars on opposite lane).
2. Child in front of me on road (not visible to drivers so I can see why they yelled at me for being slow). This feels the safest to me, fyi.
3. Child in neon jerkin to the left of me, visible to drivers but only small cars able to go around due to both of us being on narrow road.

OR (haven't done this)

1. Both of us on pavement (though technically against code for me to be there and there are pedestrians).

I really do welcome any advice as I can't seem to get it right. Recently, on a marked bike lane near us, a car screeched its brakes like it was going to hit my DD then laughed out the window and shouted "f---ing cyclists" so I am desperate to get it right so my DD is safe.

A friend said to just go on the pavement as long as the shared path is closed, but that feels like breaking the code and I really don't want to.

I remarried a London Cycle Campaign leaflet headed

You’re Not In The Way Of The Traffic, You’re Part of The Traffic

You’ve a right to be there op, do whatever feels safest.
I want to tell you to give shouty motorists the finger, but I can tell from your op that you wont. Not that I ever did ,but I did used to cycle over to cabs who hadn’t indicated, tap on the window, smile sweetly and say
“ Just wanted you to know your indicators aren’t working”.

A little louder for the folks in the back: walking isn't an option here, as we would all rather cycle for 10 mins than walk for 40. I admire everyone who has an extra five hours a week to walk, but our family isn't doing that. I am asking for cycling advice.

My priority would be being alive. Every serious cyclist I know has had at least one near miss and one is dead. I just would not be taking this risk.

@Ohyesiamy ds has learned a few choice words and gestures. However he knows I only do it when someone endangers me/us.

Absolutely as above, you are part of the traffic. Ride further out so they can't pass until safe, look behind you over your shoulder--no idea why but this seems to help.

With a child, absolutely go on the pavement, and just be considerate of any pedestrians. There are far too many arseholes driving about to trust them to be responsible towards adult cyclists, let alone children.

Dd was on main roads at age 5. We went for her in front with me behind and slightly further out.
You need to be more confident and own your bit of road though. You have every right to be on it.

Both of you slowly on the pavement. Too many cars and bad drivers out there to risk anything else.

I'm mainly a pedestrian and more than happy to share with sensible cyclists.

I thought option two is the worst option. I'm sure I read that it's better the ride side by side, as drivers can see the full obstacle. You don't want them to overtake and realise half way through the manoeuvre that it is going to take twice as long as they expected, and they pull in on the front cyclist because they don't have time to complete it.

I recommend reading "cyclecraft".

I would consider myself an assertive cyclist. Cycling like you do is why disproportionate numbers of cycling deaths are female.

But, personally, I would not do that cycle with a child.

Both on pavement

I’m a cyclist and would aim for 2 abreast, perhaps with you slightly behind DD but definitely with you taking primary position so that drivers can see you both.

Option 3 (i.e. two abreast) is the safest option. You may get some abuse but it forces cars to hold back until it is safe to overtake rather than squeezing through tiny gaps. Consider using wing reflectors to force cars to give you more room.

@MyDcAreMarvel why is it unfair on drivers because it's rush hour......it'll slow them down a "little"? But it's ok that OP is forced off her bike and walking slows her down considerably? You do know that cyclists are allowed to use the roads don't you? Also OP has already not that she should need too, explained why she can't walk!

Op do whatever suits you, which may change depending on weather conditions etc, people will moan whatever, they see bike and get an irrational sense of entitlement to road usage being only for cars. @MyDcAreMarvel is clearly one of those ridiculous drivers.

@MyDcAreMarvel

What a ridiculous comment. OP has as much legal right as anyone to be on the road.

If waiting 30 seconds to get around a bike is damaging your school run, then may I kindly suggest setting off early enough so that the normal things we encounter on the road don't scupper your day

Fellow cyclist here, lots of sympathy too! I see a lot of parents with children on the pavements where I live. Personally I think if you apply common sense- still cycle politely, slowly, of the pavement gets busy you both get off and walk, noone can really complain. Police certainly aren't interested!

Definitely option 2, that way your child won't see you flip off any dickheads who give you shit.

I'd go for both of you on the pavement and just be very careful around pedestrians. Seems the safest option all round. Ignore anyone that shouts at you.

I think it's a very bad idea for you to ride on the pavement during the school run. As a parent, and though I am a cyclist, I would make my displeasure heard if an adult was riding on the pavement at that busy time (and any other time).

Option 2

You can't do anything about being slower than a car and yeah people might shout but fuck em.

Oh no, not the displeasure, anything but that.

Anything other than the pavement - its illegal for you AND your daughter.

I don't know where people get the idea there is an exemption for Children.

If I come across cyclists on the pavement, I go out of my way to make them stop or fall off. Might teach them to use the road.

If I come across cyclists on the pavement, I go out of my way to make them stop or fall off.

YABU

As if you do Miaowing

I'd go for option 2. In fact that's what i used to do when i cycled to school with my DD when she was younger. I'd also get a helmet camera to record anyone passing too closely and if you can record the verbal abuse that would be bettter still.

The police in my area make a big deal of passing cyclists safely and even send out a policeman on a bike (with headcam) to catch offenders.

It might be worth getting your MP on side with a view to chasing up why the cycle path is closed for so long and why provision hasn't been made to accomodate cyclists on the road (such as suspending the parking on one side of the road until it reopens).

As a cyclist I also comment/shout at people on bikes on the pavement, especially adults. They should be on the road.