To try to cycle inoffensively?

[Confrontayshunme]

My DD started a new school about 1.5 miles from our house. We don't own a car, and my husband and I cycle everywhere. I am a VERY law abiding cyclist and super conscientious not to make drivers or pedestrians angry. To this end, I never zoom around cars at intersections and endeavour to actually just get out of the way at all times. I frequently stop and just get off the road to keep from annoying drivers. Please don't just start with the cyclist bashing, as I am really desperately trying to do the right thing and not annoy people.

The problem is that the shared pedestrian/cycle path between our home and school is closed for about a year for building works. There is a partial cycle lane for a bit of our journey, but car parking on both sides makes it too narrow for cars to go around if DD and I both go on the road, but I can't be near her on pavement due to said cars parking and it being a very narrow pavement.

DD is 7 and very confident riding and stopping and listening to me, but I am struggling not to get shouted at by motorists. I am definitely NOT doing anything illegal, but I just think busy people near a school and industrial estate in a 20mph zone = a lot of verbal criticism and stress for all.

I have done all of the following and been shouted at by drivers for every option.

AIBU to ask which of these is the LEAST anger-inducing for drivers (particularly industrial vans, since we are by an estate)?

1. Child on pavement in neon jerkin and me on bike going a slowish 8mph (but cars can go around at 20 if no cars on opposite lane).
2. Child in front of me on road (not visible to drivers so I can see why they yelled at me for being slow). This feels the safest to me, fyi.
3. Child in neon jerkin to the left of me, visible to drivers but only small cars able to go around due to both of us being on narrow road.

OR (haven't done this)

1. Both of us on pavement (though technically against code for me to be there and there are pedestrians).

I really do welcome any advice as I can't seem to get it right. Recently, on a marked bike lane near us, a car screeched its brakes like it was going to hit my DD then laughed out the window and shouted "f---ing cyclists" so I am desperate to get it right so my DD is safe.

A friend said to just go on the pavement as long as the shared path is closed, but that feels like breaking the code and I really don't want to.

by 'own your space' I mean make yourself seen to other vehicle and
don't cycle trying to apologise for being slow. It's more dangerous for you and other vehicles (and bloody annoying)

I cycle with my child on the pavement, which is perfectly legal where I live and in a lot of other places. We cycle in a considerate manner and have never had any issues.

Even with the rabid cycle hatred that seems to be so common in the UK, would people really have a problem with an adult cyclist on a pavement who was clearly escorting a young child?

Pavement for both of you, if you are both going dead slow and giving way to pedestrians. It may be unlawful but there's much less chance of getting into trouble than of being knocked off by a car.

I cycle with my kids to and from school daily, thankfully we live in a much more bike friendly country and most of the kids cycle in so it's a lot easier for us, but a couple of tips I've picked up:

The younger ones have a flag attached to the back so motorists can see them, otherwise as a pp said you risk an impatient motorist overtaking too close and hitting your dd as they cut back in not noticing the child's bike in front of you.

When doing busy roads with my then 5 year old I was concerned first with safety and only second with impatient drivers, so would always cycle in the middle of the lane with him just ahead and to the curb side of me, if that makes sense. If you try to be considerate and tuck in to the side unfortunately it encourages the most impatient to overtake dangerously, you have a right to use the lane and this way is safer!

So I would try both on the road with the above precautions and try to ignore the impatient drivers. That said if you try the above and still don't feel safe I would have no qualms about cycling slowly on the pavement together, maybe dismount and walk any busy stretches if you're not in a rush. Write to the counsel and request they open that stretch of pavement temporarily to bikes while the bike path is closed maybe?

And report any aggressive, dangerous drivers!

Your daughter may like it but it’s not fair on other road user at rush hour.

As a driver I would far rather you be on the road where you’re entitled to be providing you’re riding sensibly - which it sounds like you are.

As a pedestrian I would still rather you be on the road where you’re entitled to be. Obviously happy to share the shared cycle lane with you when open again.

Option 2 is the 'official' Dutch recommendation, as it is considered safest in your case.

I think your husband finds it easier as he is a man and some men (especially those that try to frighten children) think twice about shouting at men but have no problem shouting at women. Obviously NAMALT. I’ve been shouted at by men on my bike - who does that?

The drivers are the problem not you - I think Runsometimes has a sensible idea. Would a gropro help as it may give some idiots pause to think if they are being filmed? Does anyone have any experience of this?

I cycle my kids to school route is all very busy roads with heavy traffic. I cycle on the pavement with them anything else is utter madness. I cycle on the roads when alone. My rules are that pedestrians take priority, they mustn't ring a bell to clear the way they stop and wait for the pedestrian. They have to go slowly. They have to thank any one who let's them pass.

How I would ride would depend on the roads, paths, driveways situation and what feels safest would depend on those.

I expect option 2 would feel safest to me too. I would ride slightly further into the road than dd to increase visibility and force vehicles to give her a safe passing distance. Though they'll likely still pass close to you.

I would also email the local council and ask for their official position on it since they have closed the cycle path. At least this would bring it to their attention and ask them to consider additional signage to ask motorists to be considerate of cyclists due to lack of cycle path. Something like that.

As others have said though, it's not anything you're doing wrong. Some people are just anti-cyclist and almost go out of their way to abuse and intimidate them. They should have their licences taken away.

You should not have to walk because of inconsiderate drivers.

I'd also consider using using a body cam or bike mounted camera. Evidence if anything does happen and a potential deterrent at least. I'd also report any abuse you do get from here on.

Pavement. It is simply not worth the risk that an angry or distracted person will kill you both. Sorry. And complain to the council
and your MP about the closure of the cycle lane. It could no doubt be done more quickly.

I would stick with option 2. I did this with my daughter getting to and from school in years 3 and 4. It was great for teaching her the proper rules of the road, as when necessary I could just shout instructions to her and she could hear and follow them. We lived in a village at the time, though, and whereas quite a few people did drive to school, it wasn't particularly busy and there were few parked cars until almost at the school, so I rarely had any issues with the traffic.

Alternate option is a tagalong or a tandem then stay on the road. I have a similar dilemma but with two children - considering a tandem with tagalong.

Please don't go on the pavement - it's not legal, or fair on pedestrians. I would probably want to ride two abreast on the road, which means cars can see you both and as you are broader than riding single file cars are less likely to attempt dangerous overtaking. Realistically, I would walk as it's just not worth the stress of getting yelled at by arseholes in cars

I ride two abreast on stretches like that with my son. Ride on the road as is your right.

I also cycle alone but in the centre of the lane in areas where overtaking safely is not possible. It stops them overtaking too close.

Please don't keep stopping and getting off, you have every right to be there.

You "should" both be on the road but in the circumstances you describe, I'd have us both on the pavement, provided you aren't racing and are giving pedestrians right of way.

FWIW I'm a cyclist but saw it from the other side this weekend when i was driving to a location I didn't know. I was stuck behind a large group of cyclists doing some sort of event. They were spread across the road and passing them was difficult/impossible. It felt like ages although I was patient and waited until it was safe to pass, but I still got to my location at exactly the time my satnav said, so the reality must be that they only delayed me momentarily. I do wonder what the people who give us such abuse for a few seconds delays have to do in that time that's so important!

Firstly I think you have absolutely every right to be on the road and I really can't bear aggressive drivers. My husband cycles to work and has had some rather scary near misses over the years.

If you can't find an option that you are happy with have you considered a scooter? My daughter scoots to school (under strict instructions to be considerate to any pedestrians). It is a slightly quicker option than walking and she finds it fun too.

Although i've just reread your post and for 1.5 miles, I'd avoid the hassle and walk. Hardly worth getting the bikes out surely?

If you do go on the road, I'd suggest getting some form of camera too to record any such outbursts. The police are actually interested in receiving reports from dash cams etc now - www.nextbase.com/en-gb/national-dash-cam-safety-portal/

it is not illegal for a child to cycle on the pavement - and Police are told to be reasonable with adults:
www.cyclinguk.org/blog/victoria-hazael/children-cycle-pavement

Fuck it. Cycle on the pavement.

I'd keep the 7 y o on the pavement if there is any concern at all about safety. I'd probably ride on it too if there weren't lots of pedestrians.

Although i've just reread your post and for 1.5 miles, I'd avoid the hassle and walk. Hardly worth getting the bikes out surely?
Lol at this. If all drivers applied this logic there would be virtually no school run traffic at most primary schools! How many parents would walk an hour round trip to drop children off rather than drive?

Get a helmet camera with audio?

2 or 3 are the legal and safe options. Drivers should be leaving plenty of overtaking space regardless.
You are dangerous to pedestrians on the pavement
I’m a driver. Cycling has made me a better one.