Would you help your DC if..

[gc400]

You knew they'd been through some difficult circumstances this month and were really struggling for money until they get paid at the end of the month.

You've recently received an inheritance and have already got savings in the bank.

AIBU or would you offer to help? I'm not talking a substantial amount of money that's needed. Just a couple of hundred.

Yes I would, and sorry OP.

If I was in her position I wouldn't even wait for my DC to ask. She doesn't have debt or any major outgoings, otherwise I would understand.

Thanks everyone, I will look into food banks in my local area. I never ever thought I'd have to visit one, but I will swallow my pride and go anyway.

I have saved a bit of money for my baby's formula and nappies. As long as he is fed I'm sure I can manage without until next week

@KyraLittle I name changed.

It would depend on whether I thought they were genuinely doing their best or whether they were a feckless chancer.

I agree, I wouldn't throw good money after bad.

As a one off, I wouldn't hesitate to help out.

Of course I would, definitely.

Yes of course. I'd walk to the end of the earth for my child if I had to.

I would give anything for my DS if he ever needed it, especially if I was in a position to. It breaks my heart a little bit that I have nobody I can turn to when times are so hard.

Why are times so hard OP?

I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time.

There are circumstances where it might be in your best interests for me not to give you any money.

I would never see a baby, my grandchild or not, go hungry if I could buy it milk.

@7salmonswimming

@KyraLittle you're not exactly a prolific poster yourself.

Depends, if you were constantly asking to borrow money then no probably not. My sister has a friend who always needed money for stuff, food, electric, toilet roll! Got to the point where she was asking her every month.

@PumpkinP I never ask, but could understand her logic if I was asking all the time!

There is an occasional poster who comes on Mn to say she has no money for baby milk. I can understand why people are skeptical.

@Wildorchidz I have seen those posts previously too and I know they usually end up getting deleted. But I am not asking for baby formula. The little money I do have will be going on my sons formula and nappies.

@gc400 if you call your HV or GP tomorrow morning and tell them you are desperate for food for you and your baby then they can refer you to a foodbank. Likewise you can be referred by a SW or counsellor/ your local housing officer, domestic violence worker. Please don’t be embarrassed, life has a way of kicking you in the shin at times. The Tory government and the rules for Universal Credit and other benefits are leaving a lot of people in dire straits through no fault of their own.

I will say this, no child or grandchild of mine would ever go hungry when I could help them- I would give them the clothes off my own back and the food off my own plate before that would ever happen! (Although if my child was a heroin/drug addict or even a gambler/ alcoholic- that would be different- I would fill their fridge with food, pay their rent or electricity but they would get no cash from me)

Can you tell us a bit more about your circumstances. Why can't you afford these things?

I ask because there may be a back story which would explain your mums reluctance.

Please contact your HV and ask for a referral to a food bank, and to see if you are eligible for anything else that could help. There are often voucher schemes for formula milk.

Don't be proud - safety nets are there to catch you when you fall.

Hope whatever your issue is that it is short-term

Sounds like there's a back story here. Yes, I have avoided giving my child money even though he was struggling--not that he was asking. Because he's shitty at managing it and he needs to figure out how to do so. It's not always a good thing to bail adults out.

Even with a backstory, I'd make sure my child had food to eat and power to cook it and money in the meter for heat and offer lifts if I couldn't give them money due to some backstory. You can help without giving money.

How old is your DM?

My parents let me borrow money from them when dc were small and we were broke and car engine broke. I have given my 2 adult sons loans until pay day on a couple of occasions. As long as money is repaix I see no problem. Ic you are broke could you sell something on ebay or gumtree? Ask health visitor for referral to food bank.

Many years ago both my sister and I fucked up our council tax bills and our parents paid them even though it was a lot to ask for in the same month. We only learned we'd both done it recently. It was paid back ASAP of course. I felt like a crap adult for asking but my parents would never see me in trouble if they could help. I expect to be the same for my own. I'm sorry yours don't feel that way and I hope you can get some help.