DD has no time for homework!

[bluetictac]

Well not exactly...

DD2 (15 year old) is in Year 11 at school and she’s got her hobbies every night after school. She’s a competitive show jumper and rides almost everyday after school. She goes straight to the yard from school on the tube and that takes 30 mins to get there and another half an hour to get back. So one hour travelling, then she’s at the yard riding, helping people, chatting, doing horse care, having lessons, hacking etc. So she usually isn’t home until 6/6.30.

Then we have dinner and at the moment it’s fine as she can eat in her room and do her homework whilst she’s doing it because DH and I have jobs at the moment where we aren’t home until 7/8PM so we don’t all eat together as our other children don’t mind either, we are self employed/contracted work.

But when we do eat together we aren’t done with dinner until 7 and then she needs to revise, do homework, shower etc. School gives DD an average of 1.5/2 hours of homework per evening and then she usually tries to do 45mins/1 hour of revision to keep on top in subjects she struggles in. That’s almost 3 hours each night.

She isn’t done until 10PM usually and then she needs to read, unwind, shower etc so she’s not asleep until 11PM generally. Then she wakes up at 6AM and 7 hours isn’t really enough sleep for her. She’s exhausted throughout the day.

Any clue how we can help her manage her time better? We’ve spoken about doing more on weekends but she goes to the gym with her friends on Sat mornings and then we usually go out as a family in the afternoon as it’s the only time we have together all week. On Sundays we either relax at home and take it in turns to take the younger DC to clubs or go together with the DC. DD meets friends on sunday as she can’t ever meet them after school and has a yoga class in the evening but does do hours of revision on sundays.

It’s all too stressful!

The new GCSe's are not easy. They are very tough.

And I'm also genuinely flummoxed why people want their children to be academic.

Because you need a degree to get a decent job these days. Not just from any Uni, but from a "proper" uni, doing a "proper" degree. That's the perception, true or not.

If you don't get good GCSEs, you're on the back foot. "Good" jobs which used to just need, say, 5 O level C grades (such as most office jobs) now require a degree.

The entire education system is academic-based. Schools turned their backs on manual skills. Don't forget Blair's aim to get 50% of kids to go to university!!

Parents don't encourage their kids to aim for trades/manual jobs because they're considered to be only for the failures. Of course, it's utter crap as good tradesmen and those with manual skills can end up earning a lot more and more likely to have their own businesses.

I have another child who isn't at a superselective and I still wouldn't want her to do three hours homework a night. It's not efficient. Plodding along copying out stuff that isn't going to be needed in the memory for 8 months time and using a highlighter isn't learning.

I see a lot of (nearly always) young women at university, usually crying in my room, because they were always taught- do more, work very long hours, keep plodding away and you will always succeed. They carry on this, occupying the library and not going out much and then end up with lower grades than they think they are due. This approach to working might work at GCSE level, but often at A level and certainly at degree level there is an interaction between ability and effort- effort alone isn't enough. These young women often have anxiety, depression, other disorders (e.g. eating) and just find modern life very hard going. Even worse, they are then likely overtaken in the workplace by some young guy who didn't have great GCSEs or revised at the last minute but has great interpersonal skills and whose face 'fits' (and is male, there's still a strong bias once out of uni).

Your dd has two tasks: look after her horse and do well in her GCSEs. Everything else is extra, so look towards cutting down her schedule and getting her to work smarter, not harder.

using a highlighter isn't learning.

Head of year at ds's school said at recent Year 11 parent/student meeting that every year she sees lots of girls (usually girls) with their highlighter pens achieving very little except using up lots of time! HIghlighting is not an effective method of study she said for the majority of students.

getting her to work smarter, not harder.

Absolutely this!

And I'm also genuinely flummoxed why people want their children to be academic. Why is it seen as the gold standard? I don't believe high intelligence brings happiness.

I like being academic because I like ideas, debate, subtleties, detail, histories of ideas... I would be unhappy in a life without any real thought.

The new GCSe's are not easy. They are very tough.

They’re not the academic challenge that O levels once were ime, I’m disappointed with the syllabuses. That’s not to say they’re not hard work - not quite the same thing.

I just can't work out how you have a horse and have those sort of weekends! Our horses and ponies are the focus of our weekends. Do you share it?

She is currently self teaching herself an A level with just a weekly tutorial session as her school don't offer the subject

Perfectly possible. But if, for example, she wanted to go on to study that subject at Oxbridge, how would she compare to students who had had thorough full time teaching, including teaching around the subject.

If she were doing Russian from scratch, say, a teacher fluent in the language, who has broken it down systematically to facilitate efficient learning is invaluable.

Equally, you can teach yourself the piano, but you can’t master excellent technique without an experienced teacher.

Dh says if you manage to have family time at the weekends then you do not have a horse or a competitive rider! bitter experience

Kazzyhoward

Rubbish

I have 2 children. DD scraped a handful of GCSEs and ds has 1.

DD 19, left school and is in constant work. She has her own business. 3 or 4 times she has been offered a management office job on £40k (seems to b e the going rate) but she is probably going to crack that rate with her own business
Even some of her as hoc work she does when she is between business jobs she now gets £15-18 per hour and teaches those with a degree in the subject what to do. (She has incredible organisational skills)

Ds is doing his NVQ whilst doing a 2.5 day per week on a related college course and earns around £800 per month on some other work he does.

From what I can see confidence and the ability to work hard and work smart is much more beneficial than a load of A* GCSE's

A few of DDS friends do similar

Dh says if you manage to have family time at the weekends then you do not have a horse or a competitive rider!

our ‘family time’ involves a lot of horse poo!

I imagine that Oxbridge would welcome a student who was already used to the kind of methods found at university. Self-motivated research, tutorial sessions, attending conferences.

Not that she wants to go to Oxbridge anyway despite her teacher wanting her to apply!

But thats not my point. My point is that spending hours doing ineffective study and pointless tasks each night will get a child nowhere and is likely to lead to stress and burnout.

The BEST schools, that generally get the best long term results are the ones that recognise there has to be a balance, facilitates high level training for talented students but gives students strategies to manage their time and sets homework/study tasks that actually work but are not overly time consuming in order to increase academic outcomes.

Should say a few of DDS friends went to do A level courses and seeing what DD does and how much she earns jacked there course in and are having a great time working.

I imagine that Oxbridge would welcome a student who was already used to the kind of methods found at university. Self-motivated research, tutorial sessions, attending conferences.

Sure, but would she actually have the same foundation as other students. Self taught study can be ponderous and one-sided. Good luck to her, but A level on one tutorial a week is not optimal. We had two teachers per subject at A level - with two different perspectives.

Her essays are sometimes marked by a teacher at a neighbouring school who do teach the subject.

It's a bit confusing as you don't mention when DD competes. There seems to be no time at the weekend when shows are held?! I'd drop a day in the week. I assume pony is on full livery but that doesn't seem to be answered. If the pony is competing at weekends a Wednesday off for instance would be beneficial, have 2 days where she doesn't hang about so much which leaves 2 days to socialise as well as ride.

The BEST schools, that generally get the best long term results are the ones that recognise there has to be a balance, facilitates high level training for talented students but gives students strategies to manage their time and sets homework/study tasks that actually work but are not overly time consuming in order to increase academic outcomes.

That’s not really true ime. The ones that get the best results are the ones with the highest standards and expectations, that teach above the exam level so that the exams themselves seem relatively straightforward. They put a lot of pressure on the pupils to work hard achieve even while they talk about ‘balance’.

This is all fine for academic children who like working, for others not so much.

Research proves otherwise.

Her essays are sometimes marked by a teacher at a neighbouring school who do teach the subject.

Not the same as two FT teachers. Can she have tutorials with that teacher too? Personally I’d move her to a school that teaches the subject or increase her tuition.

It's a shame a comprehensive study of children in the UK hasn;t been produced. Much that has been done is inconclusive but there is some interesting stuff from a Spanish study and from Stanford.

Research proves otherwise.

What do the league tables show? The ones at the top are academic hothouses. It’s naive to think otherwise.

She attends a school that specialises in an area where she is deemed to have talent, where her future career lies and where the standards ar far higher than anywhere else available to her . She has a substantial scholarship to that effect. No way would I move her.

Kids attend her school from all over the Uk and internationally.

As mother of a DD who rode and competed throughout GCSEs and A levels - something has to give. Either a couple of days during the week when pony isn't ridden (is it on full livery?) or manage time better at weekends.

It may sound harsh, but the gym/yoga aren't essential. Neither is family time. Sure your DD obviously enjoys and values all of these, but unless something is sacrificed, then she will crack under the strain and either her exam results will suffer, or her riding will suffer.

You say she wants to jump competitively into adulthood - then although it won't hurt to throttle back for a year whilst doing GCSEs, but she must keep in the competition groove to some extent. Equally - whilst GCSEs are not the be-all and end-all, she will need to get the grades in the core subjects, as well as those subjects she intends to continue as A-levels.

Of course you don't only get one crack at GCSEs, but much easier to get them over and done now whilst in the right school year.

Decide what in her life is essential, and what can be put on the back burner for a year or two,