DD has no time for homework!

[bluetictac]

Well not exactly...

DD2 (15 year old) is in Year 11 at school and she’s got her hobbies every night after school. She’s a competitive show jumper and rides almost everyday after school. She goes straight to the yard from school on the tube and that takes 30 mins to get there and another half an hour to get back. So one hour travelling, then she’s at the yard riding, helping people, chatting, doing horse care, having lessons, hacking etc. So she usually isn’t home until 6/6.30.

Then we have dinner and at the moment it’s fine as she can eat in her room and do her homework whilst she’s doing it because DH and I have jobs at the moment where we aren’t home until 7/8PM so we don’t all eat together as our other children don’t mind either, we are self employed/contracted work.

But when we do eat together we aren’t done with dinner until 7 and then she needs to revise, do homework, shower etc. School gives DD an average of 1.5/2 hours of homework per evening and then she usually tries to do 45mins/1 hour of revision to keep on top in subjects she struggles in. That’s almost 3 hours each night.

She isn’t done until 10PM usually and then she needs to read, unwind, shower etc so she’s not asleep until 11PM generally. Then she wakes up at 6AM and 7 hours isn’t really enough sleep for her. She’s exhausted throughout the day.

Any clue how we can help her manage her time better? We’ve spoken about doing more on weekends but she goes to the gym with her friends on Sat mornings and then we usually go out as a family in the afternoon as it’s the only time we have together all week. On Sundays we either relax at home and take it in turns to take the younger DC to clubs or go together with the DC. DD meets friends on sunday as she can’t ever meet them after school and has a yoga class in the evening but does do hours of revision on sundays.

It’s all too stressful!

I'm sure there are a few specific hot house schools that do this. But its not the norm and it certainly isn't optimal.

Research has shown that the optimal amount of homework per night for effective study that has the most positive impact on outcomes is aruond an hour.

3 hours homework per night is likely to be counter-productive.

As long as she gets the grades she needs for the next step it doesn't matter.

But since a 15 year old won’t know what that step is, it does matter.

In reality life is different for some dcs. Not everyone will get to uni

Meh, university is over-rated anyway. Apprenticeships are the future. My friend's ds has been accepted to train as a pilot aged 18.

We used to go straight to the stables from school and sit and do homework together in the clubhouse, so we still got the social aspect but got some work done. If she then showers as soon as she gets in, she can move straight from dinner to a few hours of homework and revision, finish that at 9:30, read for half an hour and go to sleep. She also needs to perfect getting ready more efficiently in the morning, then she could get up at 6:45 and leave at 7:45

I said it was the norm for academic schools not the norm across the board. It’s fairly standard in London and Kent independents + the top state schools.

The top state school in the GCSE league tables for 2018 is Queen Elizabeth, Barnet.

Their homework policy states that in Years 10-11 60-90 minutes of homework should be given.

"While it is difficult to determine how long each pupil will spend on homework, guidance will be provided by teachers indicating the amount of time they might expect a specific task to take. Such guidance will prevent students regularly exceeding or falling short of these expectations. In planning homework, teachers focus on the contribution the work will make to learning progress: the quality of the learning activity rather than the quantity of homework. Effective homework need not be lengthy, nor require extensive resources; it need not always be written."

It really is priorities OP.

Hours to get up, hours to go shopping with mates, hours of 'family time', hours of time on the train, hours of noodling about at the stables and its homework that's the issue?

In reality life is different for some dcs. Not everyone will get to uni

Totally agree.

Realistically my DD is aiming for 4s. She’s not academic, doesn’t want to go to university and isn’t ambitious in the slightest

She doesn’t know what she wants to do, but passes will get her into college or an apprenticeship.

Riding is a good back up for her. She doesn’t want to compete professionally, but there’s always teaching/providing holiday cover/exercising other people’s horses/etc

You haven’t factored in revision.

Homework is often revision. Depending on when a school holds their mocks from about October half term onwards homework tends to incorporate revision or the homework task will be (revise for x/do y past paper).

None of this is relevant to the OP. it's apparent her dd is not making effectiv use of her time and is faffing. Which is fine for most kids with little extra curricular but most kids who do wothing at a high level (music, sport, dance etc) learn to manage their time and make sacrifices in at least one area.

You definitely need to help her prioritise.

She definitely needs to not faff around in the mornings.

How academic is she? Be realistic. If she is aiming for eights and nines you need to cut down some horse time. If she's going to be a stable girl then don't worry about poor results as long as she gets the basics.

TatianaLarina my experience is at the other end, when they are 18+, they arrive at Uni fed up and pack it all in because they have done too much! It is counterproductive to make children work for so long, the work they produce is simply not worth the effort. I had to teach myself over decades ho to concentrate for long periods of time and even I cannot do more than 6 hours a day, with breaks and I can only keep this up for 3 days in a row (conferences).

@Springersrock your dd sounds fab. I'm sure she will do well in life.

The education system in this country is fucked. I've told my dds that if things don't change, they should emigrate and bring their children up in a different country. I don't know what we're doing to the mental health of this generation.

And I'm also genuinely flummoxed why people want their children to be academic. Why is it seen as the gold standard? I don't believe high intelligence brings happiness.

My child is at a top superselective grammar and doesn't do 3 hours a night in Year 11.

I wouldn't want her to- I'm an academic and I've taught her to work in shorter bursts (look up the pomodoro method). She usually spends about an hour on homework.

The real problem is that your dd is tired all the time. This means she takes nearly 2 hours to get up and nearly 3 hours to do homework and revision that could probably be done in one hour if she was alert.

I think the traveling is tiring, the socializing at the stables tiring and all in all it is too much. No-one has to go to the gym AND yoga AND out with friends AND horse-ride daily AND have a family day out.

She is becoming less and less effective as she is too tired all the time- just take charge, cut down on activities such as the gym, cut down the horsey stuff to 4 times a week and pay someone to do the other days, and don't make the family day out compulsory so she can dip in and out.

With hormones as well, I'm surprised she hasn't flipped on this schedule! Less is more in Year 11, she also needs time to loll around and let the work sink in, which you can't do if you are constantly timetabled.

BTW OP, unfortunately your DD can’t decide anything about a riding career until she rides horses. The change from ponies to horses is substantial and many children fail to make it. Ponies are more agile, more forgiving, more likely to jump clear off a bad stride or save you from a canter that is too forward bound...horses are a big surprise in all these respects! Don’t make the mistake of getting her a young horse to bring on! She will need a schoolmaster horse to teach her.

If the horses mean that much to her, she will have to sacrifice her weekend gym visits and socialising until her GCSE year is finished. Her GCSEs are more important than the gym or even horse riding tbh.

Revision is on top of homework, unless it’s for a specific upcoming test, or you’re about to do mocks.

And you have to factor in the conscientiousness of hardworking pupils who want to get the best marks - homework times are only guides. They tend to go above and beyond that to progress and get on top of their subject.

More fool you/them. I don't thiknk you can getr better than Grade 8/9's at GCSE. All done on an hour a night, 2 hours at weekends and 15 hours dance per week.

I don't thiknk you can getr better than Grade 8/9's at GCSE. All done on an hour a night, 2 hours at weekends and 15 hours dance per week

with respect, my dd got 7s 8s and 9s and worked far far more than that. Not all children can breeze through. And those that do almost always come a cropper at A level.

More fool you/them

nice

And I'm also genuinely flummoxed why people want their children to be academic. Why is it seen as the gold standard? I don't believe high intelligence brings happiness

Because if they like riding, they need to earn good money!

My 13 year old DD has just started year 9 and has two ponies. Neither myself or my DH are 'horsey' and she does everything herself. She has more or less outgrown her first pony so has just broken in a new pony to ride. The plan was for the old pony to be sold but then we found ourselves unexpectedly better off each month and would be able to manage both ponies liveries. Her first pony is her life, she has had him four years and competes showjumping, eventing and showing with him very successfully.

Even though we can now afford to keep him and she loves him so much we've made the decision as a family that two ponies is just too much for someone starting their GCSE studies. My DD's ponies are both on DIY livery so she has no help, goes to them everyday. Her workload is big as she's at a very strict Grammar school. She's very bright but has little interest in studies but knows she has to complete her homework everynight. Because of this she chooses to take pack lunches so she can do homework in her dinner rather than wasting time queueing in the canteen, studies on the 20 min bus journey home and knows she has to manage her time responsibly if she wants time at the stables. She rides or lunges every night, completes a couple of hours homework, showers and is bed for 9-9.30pm. She's up at 7.30am and leaves the house at 8.20am.

I think it's hard when they're so passionate about a hobby but as the parent I think we have to be the voice of reason, if your daughter has to do extra revision because she struggles in some subjects surely that is reason enough to maybe cut the riding back a little.

GCSEs are comparatively easy now, so the grades don’t really tell you anything. But there’s less of a leap at A level, or from A level to the top red bricks/Oxbridge, for students who put in the work all the way along, and are comfortable working independently, compared to those who have simply worked to the exam.

Because if they like riding, they need to earn good money

Agreed but university is not necessary to earn well.

My daughter worked incredibly hard, but effriciently. She is currently self teaching herself an A level with just a weekly tutorial session as her school don't offer the subject.

1 hour of efficiency/effective learning is better than 2 hours of looking busy.