to take my three year old into the women's loos?!

[LulaLandry]

Just that really. Went out to a farm park yesterday on my own with my three year old son and the loos available were male, female and disabled. I wasn't about to use the disabled loo and in any case someone was using it, so I did what I always do and took DS into the ladies, at which point I got a filthy glance from another woman and she said "he should be using the men's".

I was so taken aback I didn't even reply but the more I think about it the more I think how ridiculous this was. I am entirely supportive of female-only spaces but we are talking about a three year old child (who by the way does not look older than he is). He genuinely doesn't even have any concept of sex yet, he calls everyone "she". He's not old enough to take himself into the men's on his own.

Surely I was not BU?!?!

Of course you weren't wrong to do this! My six yr son still comes with me unless it's somewhere really familiar to him. He is also very tall for his age so looks 8 but no one has said anything quite rightly! You would be mad to send a three yr old into the gents alone!

Ridiculous woman. Was he supposed to go into the gents on his own and ask some random stranger to lift him up to the urinals? Or does she think you should have gone into the gents with him?

I suspect that the woman had some kind of learning disability and was confused about how the rules are used for small children.

How ridiculous, my DD aged 6 still goes in the mens with her dp if she needs too.

I have 3 sons and my eldest will soon be 9 and they until recently always came with me and my eldest still does in certain places because some places just feel unsafe to send a young boy alone.

He's much too young to be sent to the Gents.

YANBU!

The woman was being ridiculous. No-one would allow an unaccompanied 3 yo of either sex to use a public toilet. Small children of either sex can be taken into a women's toilet, but I'd be a bit uncomfortable if my DH had had to take our young DD into a gents' just because urinals are so very public. I'm not sure what the alternative would be though, unless he asked a woman if she'd mind taking her in.

In all my years of taking my sons into the female toilets I’ve never had the face or had anything said to me. I find it very odd that someone said it to a mother with such a small male child.

I think until around year 3 (juniors) children should go in with a parent/accompanying adult. No 3 year old would be able to close and open the door, flush the toilet and wash their hands with soap!

I would have just told her that your child was actually a girl and not to assume people's genders.

^ Love that comment Hugs

I would have no problem with a boy aged up to 7/8 in the female loos with a female parent. I was a little puzzled once when using some toilets at a rest area when a man walked in with his little girl. I had assumed he would have taken her to the gents instead of the ladies.

My mind boggles at this! I bring 6 yo ds into the ladies with me unless his 10yo brother or dad is there to go into the gents with him. Even with the 10yo I am outside the gents paying attention.
I reckon 8/9 is about the age at which they are able to start using the gents alone. Younger than that my main concern is around them touching filthy toilet things. But they also need to be mature enough to be able to alert someone to a dodgy situation.

You were definitely not in the wrong. Stupid woman. A three year old!! This makes me feel sad, I just don’t understand some people.

That is bonkers she clearly had some problem. I would have more problem if you let your son use the male toilets alone eyes he could be molested or worse

was this a dream, OP?

'yes you are right. While we are at it can I suggest you use that toilet over there... The one that says miserable interfering C. U. N. Ts?'

You were not unreasonable to take three year old son into women's loo, he's too young to go into the mens on his own.

I asked because disabled toilets aren't disabled only, they are disabled accessible. Many people think they can't use them when they can.

Nope you're fine... My 3 year old (almost 4 though) could manage in the toilets by herself, with locking/unlocking the door (usually insists on doing that, along with flushing lol.) But its others I'd worry about at that age sending them in alone. I think up to 6/7 its fine!

Of course he should be with you, he's a toddler. Ridiculous of her to object to a little boy being there, she's a fuckwit...

3?! What did she expect you do let him stroll off alone???

The woman's an idiot. Of course a 3 year old can't use a public toilet on his own.

The idea of a 3 year old going to a public loo on his own is so ludicrous, and the woman so obviously wrong that I can only think this thread must be intended as some sort of misguided trap for Margaret Atwood’s fictional “push men off a cliff kill/all male babies” feminists........

Hardly Bertrand

I've had much more ludicrous things than this happen to me in my life.

I explained upthread I get really bad social anxiety and often second guess myself. Don't trust my own judgement. Sorry if it bothers you.