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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aibu - secondary and Santa

206 replies

obviouslymarvellous · 14/09/2019 15:46

So yesterday my ds (year 7) told me that his RE teacher had told them that Santa was made up and nonsense. Now I'm not being a snowflake or anything and we had already told him that Santa only comes to younger children and he himself would be being Santa this year for his younger sisters, so I'm a little bit peeved that a teacher has spoiled it all. Ds said a few girls were crying in the class. I just don't think it's a teachers responsibility to tell children about Santa it's a parental job but maybe AIBU? Confused

OP posts:
pikapikachu · 15/09/2019 09:58

Everyone is always moaning on about children growing up too quick and yet here most of you are saying you would tell your children at 7/8 that Santa isn't real?

My kids asked before they were 7/8 because they are capable of critical thinking - the Santa story just doesn't add up. Even ds2 who was bottom of the class academically worked out that if Santa was real then children in developed countries wouldn't get maybe one gift while children in poor countries would get piles. If they are old enough to work out it can't be true then they are old enough to know the truth imo.

You can definitely have a magical Xmas without believing in Santa. My kids are cynical teens but love playing along for our neighbour's kids who are 3,4 and 6. They can't help but smile when they see the girls spreading reindeer food on our part of the path on Xmas Eve.

Teenagers are supposed to be materialistic and cynical but mine coo and gush over the simple things at Xmas. For example when we decorate the tree, they ooo and ahhh over baubles that they've not seen since last year. While they enjoy gifts, they enjoy pulling crackers and Xmas music too.

Userzzzzz · 15/09/2019 10:01

I don’t think at that age the teacher is dashing many believers. I’d have thought most would have doubts at a much longer age. It always entertains me through that my incredibly logical nephew cottoned on to Santa really early (by 5) but still believed in the tooth fairy for much longer. I could never work out why he was so convinced by one and not the other.

Userzzzzz · 15/09/2019 10:02

Younger not longer

Badolddays · 15/09/2019 10:03

Having taught special needs classes at secondary school, I can believe there are a few pupils of that age who would still believe in Santa. These are children who can barely read or write and don’t know their own birthday. I do think parents should prepare their dc though.

Thoughtlessinengland · 15/09/2019 10:08

Perhaps tangential here but some PP seem to be misunderstanding “Religious Education” the subject and implying RE teachers are themselves believers in —imaginary friends— God etc. RE is a subject that introduces kids to information ABOUT a variety of religions as practised in diverse cultures. It is not the actual practice or preaching of religiousness. Hmm

By this account all people studying and researching the sociology of religion, or theology would be raving religious fanatics.

pikapikachu · 15/09/2019 10:09

Of course people with SN might not know before y7. I forgot to add that caveat.

Blankspace4 · 15/09/2019 10:09

Some children have only just turned 11 when they get into year 7. There will be a huge difference in maturity at that age, some are very much “tweenagers” and others still very childish. I don’t see any harm in them believing in Santa BUT I also think it’s about the right age to find out, if they hadn’t already.

We shouldn’t rush our children’s growing up. Some magic is still ok!

I think I was 10 when I realised he didn’t exist. I actually remember a friend and I discussing it as we walked in pairs down to the swimming baths!

LolaSmiles · 15/09/2019 10:16

Teenagers are supposed to be materialistic and cynical but mine coo and gush over the simple things at Xmas. For example when we decorate the tree, they ooo and ahhh over baubles that they've not seen since last year. While they enjoy gifts, they enjoy pulling crackers and Xmas music too.
That's my experience of teenagers too. They love it and get into the festive spirit every year. I think y9-11 are some of the biggest Santa supporters every year. They even love it when staff wear Christmas jumpers and they want to know if we are coming for Christmas dinner at school

I think this obsessed with preserving the magic of santa is more for the parents' benefit than the children's to be honest. If the magic of Christmas hangs on maintaining a lie to the point where it upsets them to find out at secondary school then the rest of Christmas musn't be that festive or magical.

redchocolatebutton · 15/09/2019 10:22

we never did santa at all.
dh is from 'forrin' where santa just isn't a thing. plus in the area we lived when dc were small about half of dc were non christian.

you know what: christmas is still magical and special. we make biscuits and decorations to give away, volunteer in a nursing home, have a lovely christmas dinner and board games with family.

ThunderR0ad78 · 15/09/2019 15:53

My friends son (Year 7) took in to school his Santa letters to prove to his friends that Santa was real! Can you imagine!!! Shock

ForalltheSaints · 15/09/2019 16:41

I think that the use of the word 'nonsense' was not the best word to use, and it could have been an opportunity to discuss Christmas traditions for children in countries which have a Christian heritage. Sinterklaas in Belgium and the Netherlands, for example.

Unfortunately teachers are in general asked to cover for things that are for parents to do, far too often.

SoManyUnknowns · 15/09/2019 18:07

Tldr but the irony that that the RE teacher told them SANTA doesnt exist!

icontrolthebullshitnow · 15/09/2019 18:10

If you felt it was a parents responsibility to dispel that myth then you should have done so before secondary school. You have in your explanation to him, continued the myth for your son

BarbariansMum · 15/09/2019 18:20

My youngest (and silliest) child worked out that Father Christmas was nonsense at 7.5 after a bit of thinking about why there were children starving in the world if FC could just bring them all some food. He was much more upset by the idea that Father Christmas just wouldnt care and would let them go hungry, than by the fact he was made up.

HeadintheiClouds · 15/09/2019 18:42

The “giving tree” (Christmas tree in school hall where gifts for “poor” children were collected) when dd was in Reception did it for her, unfortunately. Try explaining to a 5 year old just why it mattered whether your parents could afford Christmas presents or not when Santa was the one supplying them.
Clearly I failed miserably. She wasn’t falling for any of it.

redchocolatebutton · 15/09/2019 18:42

Tldr but the irony that that the RE teacher told them SANTA doesnt exist

Confused why? since when does santa (the red robed one) has anything to do with religion?

st nikolas has, but santa and sleigh reindeer and stockings?

HeadintheiClouds · 15/09/2019 18:44

I think it’s a cack handed crack at suggesting God doesn’t exist either.
Yawn.

Jamhandprints · 15/09/2019 18:55

@mnbvcxz098 RE teachers don't promote religion and certainly not a specific one. They just teach about them.
What did you think happens in RE lessons?

x2boys · 15/09/2019 18:56

Indeed Head ,but if the poster bothered they would realise it has been explained several times ,that RE,Teachers, teach about different religious beliefs rather than wether God is factual.or not

x2boys · 15/09/2019 18:57

To RTFT*

LolaSmiles · 15/09/2019 19:12

HeadintheiClouds
Children are quite astute in seeing unfairness and inequality.

I find the Santa thing quite uncomfortable telling children all presents come from Santa if they're good. There'll be plenty of lovely kids coming back in January with not very many presents (if any) and utterly selfish and unpleasant kids who come back to school bragging about their millions of high value presents. Children aren't silly.

joblotbubble · 15/09/2019 19:14

Tbh . I would expect a year 7 teacher to use facts not fairy stories . It is not primary.

Indeed. I wonder what the RE teacher tells the kids? Not 'facts' I'm quite sure Grin

LolaSmiles · 15/09/2019 19:19

I wonder what the RE teacher tells the kids? Not 'facts' I'm quite sure
How are we 8 pages in and there are STILL people showing spectacular ignorance on what RE involves despite pages of people explaining it?
Hmm

Religious Education involves learning ABOUT different religions. The facts are what different people in different religions believe.

Never has a thread highlighted to me why RE is a relevant and important subject. Is it really that hard to understand that students learn about different views.

Rosebel · 15/09/2019 19:26

My youngest is autistic and still believes (Y7). It's not as simple as,telling her he's not real or even the story of St Nicholas. She wouldn't understand so I would be seriously peeved if a teacher told her this. Sure my eldest didn't believe by the time she was 8 but it's not for a teacher to judge when they're ready to learn the truth. And clearly in this case the teacher badly misjudged how the children would react.

Mysteriously · 15/09/2019 19:26

I would be a bit surprised but be able to understand if one child in a year 7 class genuinely still believed in santa but to have a "few girls crying"? that's a bit much. I think at age 11 or 12 they should know and have already been able to figure it out for themselves, if they haven't then they should be told, not so harshly but straight to the point

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