Aibu - secondary and Santa

[obviouslymarvellous]

So yesterday my ds (year 7) told me that his RE teacher had told them that Santa was made up and nonsense. Now I'm not being a snowflake or anything and we had already told him that Santa only comes to younger children and he himself would be being Santa this year for his younger sisters, so I'm a little bit peeved that a teacher has spoiled it all. Ds said a few girls were crying in the class. I just don't think it's a teachers responsibility to tell children about Santa it's a parental job but maybe AIBU?

MADNESS! And I don’t mean the teachers. All this nonsense about an imaginary character! Year 7 children believing in Santa? Seriously? I’d be very concerned. Girls crying? Are you sure?

It's cruel not to tell a child the truth before y7 although it's only on MN that 10 years old believe. Nonsense is too strong a word to describe Santa but surely everybody knew?

Surely most children by Y7 would know that Santa is a myth? If it was Year 2 or 3, I could see it being a problem for some children; but hardly any 11-year-olds still think of Santa as real, surely?

I just don't think it's a teachers responsibility to tell children about Santa it's a parental job but maybe AIBU?

It is a parental responsibility which you failed to carry out by a reasonable age.

If it's a parental job, perhaps you should have already told him the truth. Do you want him ridiculed?

YABU... Christ what secondary school is this? By year 7 at my school children were smoking, drinking and having sex (I didn’t go to the most disciplined school shall we say.), definitely not crying over whether Santa exists!

I agree with a PP that your plan sounds like it's aimed at parents of children who are age 7 or 8, not 11. It's a good plan but a few years too late. At 11 they may help out with presents for younger siblings, but they shouldn't believe they are actually helping a mythical figure at that age!

yabu
santa doesn't exist and the teacher did the dc a service before dc get mercilessly taken the piss out on the playground over this.

Honestly if you havent told your children the truth by year 7 then any upset caused by someone else telling them is entirely your fault.

My DS has Aspergers so is very literal and was still a believer when he started Year 7, I had to explain it all so he wasn’t bullied about it, he’d have believed forever if I hadn’t.

Most children have worked it out naturally for themselves.
Even those who are thought to still believe are usually just playing along with it and know the truth.
I still went along with the magic of it all for younger siblings years after I'd worked it all out for myself. I don't think I even let on to my parents.

My son is 8 and whilst I wont tell him outright, if he expresses any doubts in Santa this year I'll be gently getting him to reflect on/explore those
@CloudsCanLookLikeSheep ha sit absolutely right here. Too many parents just rush to ‘reassure’ that Santa is real tha it makes everything harder than it need be (for eg the PP who said their friends ‘had to’ back track as their Dc were upset. They didn’t have to. They chose to. For their own benefit, not the DC).
It’s a nice game, but we shouldn’t put so much effort into making it real. It should be a flimsy story which kids can work out is rubbish themselves, then there is no ‘telling’ them and no trauma. And it’s certainly all done by 11!

elsieotter I would be very surprised if an 11 year old still believed in Santa but if they were "smoking, drinking and having sex" I would be appalled and alert Child protection.

Some of those girls who allegedly cried will have started menstruating, ffs. I honestly can’t believe 11/12 year olds seriously believe in Santa Claus.

I would of said exactly the same thing about God and ask his teacher to prove it!

Would you indeed?

Very few children at that age know that Santa isn’t real but there is a difference between knowing he doesn’t exit & being told it’s nonsense as it’s what most would have believed until fairly recently.
mnbvcxz098 : it’s a little ignorant of you to think that RE teachers teach about religions as facts. They teach about all faiths & different beliefs. Not as you said a big man in the sky..

I don't think it's that unbelievable, I still believed at 11!

that's not normal though kindness

The teacher wouldn't need to.prove that God exits Cadbury just that some people have certain beliefs ,and schools tend to.teach about all religions these days not just Christianity .

Well I've never really aspired to be normal so that's cool 🤷‍♀️

YABU

By secondary age, kids should know that Santa isn’t real.

If parents have allowed them to get to that stage without telling their child the truth, they’re the ones to blame when the illusion is shattered by someone else.

I can't believe kids were crying!! They would have got the piss taken out of them when I was at school.
I suspect the crying girls were winding the teacher up. As is the OP's child.

"By year 7 at my school children were smoking, drinking and having sex (I didn’t go to the most disciplined school shall we say.)"

Same at my school twenty years ago (it was a grammar school, so I always laughed when my privately educated friends got starry-eyed about what a wonderful environment of like-minded young seekers after higher knowledge a grammar school must be!). Probably most of the girls who claimed to be having sex weren't, but I'm sure a handful were and the others were able to offer graphic descriptions of the imaginary sex they were supposedly having. I'd be appalled if it were a child I knew now, but at the time we all felt very grown-up.