Aibu - secondary and Santa

[obviouslymarvellous]

So yesterday my ds (year 7) told me that his RE teacher had told them that Santa was made up and nonsense. Now I'm not being a snowflake or anything and we had already told him that Santa only comes to younger children and he himself would be being Santa this year for his younger sisters, so I'm a little bit peeved that a teacher has spoiled it all. Ds said a few girls were crying in the class. I just don't think it's a teachers responsibility to tell children about Santa it's a parental job but maybe AIBU?

Hahah sorry but I’d have been a bit wtf at any 11 year old that still believed in Santa.

Mind you, at nearly thirty years old, I’m still holding out hope for that Hogwarts letter one day...

1. I find it hard to believe an 11 year old would still believe in Santa. 2. Some of you have some very literal ideas about spirituality and odd ideas about what is taught in RE.

I'd be worried if my kid was in high school still believing in Santa 👀

Maybe the OP is not frantically googling how to break the news about Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy .

I'm gobsmacked that a secondary school child of 11 would still believe in Santa. You've been ridiculous to tell him that Santa only comes to the young ones - and that he is now Santa. That's a copout on your part. By now he is old / mature enough to figure out that the whole Santa thing has been invented ...maybe he thinks that you need to be humoured ? The whole story is beyond my comprehension.

They don't even in a faith school Teen, my son goes to.a Catholic school and they teach about all religions in fact last year his 'RE teacher was Muslim , even for people who don't follow any religion ,it's good to.learn about other people's beliefs .

Ds said a few girls were crying in the class.

Big, hairy bollocks.

This is one of those threads where posters are needlessly mean to the OP over something trivial. It's no better than trolling.

I'd rather my DC went to secondary school believing in Father Christmas than thinking it was ok to be mean to strangers.

I think if children are crying in year 7 over the revelation that Santa isn’t real then the teacher did exactly the right thing in telling them

@alliejay81 the OP has asked if she is being unreasonable on a public site and people are giving her the opinions she asked for. Not trolling.

Santa is not real! Time to stop lying.

As a parent you need to ensure that your child is well prepared for life and resilient.

Still lying to an 11 year old about Santa existing is not doing that. By making up a story about younger children only which isn't even part of the wider Santa myth exposes your child to potential ridicule.

Personally I think most children should know about Santa not being real by secondary school age!

He may not have already know. I told my before he started at secondary, but he didn’t know before that, and some of his friends didn’t know, and were so upset when their parents told them the parents had to backtrack.
It is something they should know before secondary really, so yabu.

Exactly Muted

Trolling is making deliberately inflammatory comments in order to get a reaction.

Whereas what most posters here are doing is answering that yes, the OP is being unreasonable as the majority of the population recognise that believing in Santa once in secondary school is fairly ridiculous.

Tbh it would not occur to me that someone that age would still believe in Santa, I think most people would expect children of that age to know that. I do think it would be a little odd if they went out of their way to inform them, in case they didn't already know, that he isn't real, but if it was just referenced in passing and assumed they would already know (more likely) then I don't think this is reasonably something you can expect people to police. Most adults do not treat secondary age pupils like small children and would be honest with them in conversation, plus if the child ever watches a Christmas film that is not aimed at toddlers they will almost always heavily feature adults not believing in Santa/storylines where adults convince young children they are Santa, so if they have any degree of critical thinking skills they ought to pick up on that as a concept.

Bottom line is, you are doing your children a bit of a disservice and setting them up for disappointment if you don't let your children know this before they are at an age where everyone will expect them to know and will not let them down gently if they mention it.

Year 7? I think any child still believing in Santa at that age risks being mercilessly taunted by peers, far more traumatic than finding out that santa is a fairytale. My daughter started working out that it was a big hoax (lol) very young. I had to remind her to keep things to herself. She would start pointing out that the salvation army santa in front of the store was different than the picture taking santa inside the store at the same time. She was really hard to get her to believe.

I don't remember ever believing in Santa, even as a very young child. I remember feeling like I had to pretend I believed so my parents wouldn't be disappointed. But I always still loved Santa stories and Christmas. It never ruined it for me, if that's any consolation. I still loved the "magic" of the season. I still do love the decorations and stories, etc.

Is this a wind up?
It's y7 not aged 7. I'd have been a laughing stock aged 11 crying over that.

Oh God, this is why I told my DS in the summer before he started secondary school - he was gutted

The trouble nowadays is we have all that Santa tracking/ webcam rubbish so the kids actually see Father Christmas rather than just imagining him, so of course they think he's real.

Is he sure the girls weren't taking the piss with the crying? It's the kind of thing I would have done at that age.

My dad plays Father Christmas for a local charity event, has done every year since I was a baby, I worked it out quite young because I recognised him, but i played along because I liked the magic of it, then because it always makes Dad smile so I still pay to go visit him every year and make out I don't know it is him, I tell him what I want for Christmas and every year it appears under the tree with a little tag saying "love Father Christmas, keep believing." None of my siblings get a Father Christmas present because they don't believe.

Perhaps if Santa identified as a woman then Mermaids Stonewall etc could teach schools to believe.

After all, teaching gender ideology as fact - that humans can change sex - is not laughed at.

My DS (just gone into Y7) still believed a few months back. DH took him for a walk and did the first "Man Chat" . one of many to come

DS still plays with Lego, plays with the yr4/yr6 boys next door and is in a wonderful wibbly-wobbly-no-rush-to-grow-up world of his own. There was no way I was sending him to secondary school still believing - he would have been shredded!

My son is 8 and whilst I wont tell him outright, if he expresses any doubts in Santa this year I'll be gently getting him to reflect on/explore those.

While I agree that kids should probably know by that age, I don't think the teacher should have brought it up.

I remember when my brother was 11 and my mom flat out told him that Santa doesn't exist. He still managed to explain to himself that Santa is real and mum is somehow tricking him. My nephew also somehow just doesn't get it. He is 9, but he can explain everything to himself eventhough he goes to pick his presents and wraps dad's presents and write the cards.