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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report to school what my DD told me about this lunchtime supervisor?

547 replies

Namechangingforthis2019 · 14/09/2019 14:03

Dd(8) told me that yesterday she saw a lunchtime supervisor take a fish finger off the tray at the serving hatch with her fingers and eat it. Dd said no other adults saw, she has seen this staff member do this before.
Would you email school and pass on what dd said?

A few bits of context -

  • I believe dd, she is not likely to have made this up
  • lunchtime supervisor has been working there about 30 years. She’s very harsh with the kids (based on what dd has told me) and anecdotally other parents have said even the staff are a bit scared of her!
  • school has an outbreak of norovirus last week so have been very hot on infection control, washing hands etc.

I know she probably didn’t touch anyone else’s food, but it’s not right is it? If nothing else it’s unprofessional and sets a bad example to the kids. But I don’t want to bother the school if it’s not really a big deal.

Would you report it or leave it?

Yabu = I should not report it
yanbu = I should email the school about it

OP posts:
SarahTancredi · 14/09/2019 14:25

eder

I also said it didnt matter anyway as they handle all the other food.

I certainly wouldnt report it. On the basis that this is one of many jobs where if every one stuck to exactly what they should be doing the place would be fucked .

WineIsMyCarb · 14/09/2019 14:26

How can anyone's not scoff fish fingers when they are laid out in front of them? If I were the dinner lady there would be no fish fingers for your DD, then you'd have something to complain about!

absopugginglutely · 14/09/2019 14:27

So happy for you that this even registers as something to worry about. Fancy swapping lives?!

YADBU

Original poster
Namechangingforthis2019 · 14/09/2019 14:27

Wow.
I’ve been around here for a long while but am actually surprised at some of the tone of your replies. Feel stupid now but didn’t expect quite this level of vitriol and assumptions made about me and my dd based on me asking this question!
Expected to be maybe be told I was being silly and it’s really not a big deal, but not the character assassination!

And ‘carry on like this and dds parties will be quiet in future’ - wtf?

OP posts:
FrauHaribo · 14/09/2019 14:27

Round of applause

someone actually started a thread about eating a fishfinger.

MimiCaeger · 14/09/2019 14:27

When i was a Meal time assistant (finished in 2014) I got to whack in an order for whatever I fancied the day before and I would often eat it on duty if it was finger food.

The same happens now, as a teacher when I am on hall duty. I imagine everyone knows it’s just no one cares.

Additionally, in the politest way possible discourage tattle tales, because kids who constantly tell tales and who are trying to be perfect all the time really often forget to be kind, and end up frustrating their classmates leading to them feeling upset and trying to seek adult approval by telling more tales it’s a negative cycle.

LolaSmiles · 14/09/2019 14:27

What is it recently with snitchy kids on MN running home from school and telling their parents tales about the teachers and other school staff, and the parents thinking they need to call the school right away?!
I was thinking that.

I'm starting to think that its always gossipy drama prone parents who end up with gossipy drama prone kids.

We should collect them on a thread along with:
DC heard the teachers laughing and joking and told me they were drunk. They didn't see anything but I want to complain.
99% of students followed the instructions but my child didn't so the teacher needs reporting for beighn bad at their job

MouseInATelescope · 14/09/2019 14:28

A lot worse happens in schools, but I don't think there's any need to call her 8 year old DD names.

Sammi38 · 14/09/2019 14:29

What is the issue with the lunchtime supervisor having a fish finger?

So bizarre!

Pannalash · 14/09/2019 14:30
Biscuit
Tilltheendoftheline · 14/09/2019 14:30

Feel stupid now but didn’t expect quite this level of vitriol and assumptions made about me and my dd based on me asking this question! Expected to be maybe be told I was being silly and it’s really not a big deal, but not the character assassination!

Why did you name change?

ShirleyPhallus · 14/09/2019 14:30

@Namechangingforthis2019 why did you think this was such an outing post that you needed to name change for it? Sure you didn’t feel it was a bit silly and you’d get your arse handed to you?

RosesAndRaindrops · 14/09/2019 14:30

YABU!
FFS, really?! If my child came home and told me that, I'd probably fleetingly think "OK, that's um, nice" but then forget all about it.
Not report it, how the heck do you get that worked up about it?!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 14/09/2019 14:30

Fishfinger theft is just a gateway crime to stealing the Crown Jewels.

Of course you must report it!

(Not really)

It may have been one that the batter was dropping off and the kids would have made a face at. It's nothing dreadful. I wouldn't report it.

Scarlett555 · 14/09/2019 14:31

All sounds a bit fishy to me

Ruefaro · 14/09/2019 14:31

I just want to know how your thought process let you type that Hmm

EC22 · 14/09/2019 14:31

Oh for goodness sake.
Big Wow!

CakeNinja · 14/09/2019 14:32

I’ve been very poorly the last couple of days. (Came down with something after eating a dodgy fishfinger given to me in the school kitchen by a woman not wearing gloves. Coincidence?? I think not...)
This thread has brought me some very much needed light relief Grin

ChildminderMum · 14/09/2019 14:32

Log it with 101!

What actually are you worried about though? That the dinner lady will infect the children with something (by eating food with her fingers Confused) or that she is stealing?

By the way, I often tell children who are prone to telling tales that if their name isn't in the story, they don't need to tell it.
"I saw Mrs X eat a fish finger" - I don't need to know.
"Mrs X ate my fish finger" - that's a tale you can tell.

Sammi38 · 14/09/2019 14:33

And why does it set a bad example for kids?

LizzieSiddal · 14/09/2019 14:34

CALL THE POLICE!!!!!

Original poster
Namechangingforthis2019 · 14/09/2019 14:34

I name changed because I spoke to another mum about it and didn’t want her to recognise my usual username on here!

(And before you ask - no she didn’t tell me I was being ridiculous not to my face and encouraged me to email the school!)

OP posts:
SweetPetrichor · 14/09/2019 14:34

You're raising a clipe. If you were to report this you'd be 'that parent'...my parents were both teachers and believe me, teachers all know who 'that parent' is. They also know which children are clipes...

Jbraise · 14/09/2019 14:34

A fish finger, blimey that is serious stuff. Seriously ridiculous

LolaSmiles · 14/09/2019 14:35

FFS, really?! If my child came home and told me that, I'd probably fleetingly think "OK, that's um, nice" but then forget all about it.
That's what most people would do.

It's important to consider what real issues are Vs finding drama.

I think some adults would benefit from the difference between reporting Vs tattling:

Reporting:
Keeping someone safe
Preventing harm
Needs support or guidance to sort the problem
Deliberate unpleasant behaviour

Telling tattle tales:
Done to try and get someone into trouble
Nobody is being harmed
Unimportant/ Harmless
Can be sorted independently