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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think this just isn’t right

115 replies

Deyes999 · 13/09/2019 20:51

I have lived in my house for ten years. My neighbour has never once opened his windows or curtains in that time. Other neighbours in the street who have lived here for 20 years say he hasn’t opened them since they lived here either. He is a middle aged male lives alone, comes and goes to work each day, says hello if he sees me, not enough to make conversation. He keeps to himself, He rarely has any visitors but when he does he speaks to them outside and never invites anyone in. It’s all very strange and weird, anyone else ever known anyone like this? Would you do anything

OP posts:
salsmum · 13/09/2019 23:43

My DP was a bit like this after his dm passed away he just went to work/gym... when he first stayed over at mine a neighbour called the police and they broke down his door 😵 we then had to pay for a new door 🤬🤦‍♀️

dontgobaconmyheart · 13/09/2019 23:44

I don't really get it OP, sorry- some people are introverts, he may have a health issue etc etc. I don't think it is anyone business but his, and ostracising others who behave differently to the group doesn't have much merit. It's his house for goodness sake. It's beside the point because it's just sheer nosiness but how do you know he doesn't open windows or doors at the back or at times you are not observing. Why even are you? . You are right that it maybe isn't usual but I'd just let it go and get on with your own life and house Confused

PeriComoToes · 13/09/2019 23:44

Hoarder?

Drogosnextwife · 13/09/2019 23:47

He probably walks around naked all the time.

colourlessgreenidea · 13/09/2019 23:47

I just wanted to know how others would react to having a neighbour like that

By giving not a single, solitary fuck?

Drogosnextwife · 13/09/2019 23:47

He's doing you a favour if that is the case.

Pippioddstocking · 13/09/2019 23:54

I'm pretty sure this is how my Autistic DS will live when he's older ,wanting to shut the world out after he's done his day of work and other people .
You may find it weird but he will be perfectly happy with this living arrangement .

MadameFoner · 14/09/2019 00:03

I remember one neighbour saying to me they thought it was really weird that our other neighbour never ever put washing on the line......i thought it was really weird they'd even noticed!!

MashedSpud · 14/09/2019 00:14

Maybe he doesn’t want spiders and flies getting in.

Maybe he coats himself in turpentine and slithers around on the floor saying “Hiss, hiss”.

Either way it’s his business. As long as he’s not storing the dead or making bombs.

Notajogger · 14/09/2019 00:16

Our neighbour is exactly like this, and is a hoarder. He's never had a visitor in all the time we've lived here and has no family. He's clearly lonely so I do try and chat to him when I see him. That's all you can do I think.

For what it's worth, there are quite a number of windows around here with permanently drawn curtains - i don't understand it myself but then I do seem to have a thing about houses needing to be light! (Also dreading the dinginess of winter coming up...)

Anon2126 · 14/09/2019 02:16

Deyes999 I don't really get why you're so concerned, he's obviously not bothering anyone. If he likes to keep to himself then that's up to him!

Rubyupbeat · 14/09/2019 02:40

This could be my bil, husbands brother. Who is now early 60s.
In fact if you had said flat instead of house, I would have thought it was him.
He works in a specialised field, is highly intelligent, but doesnt socialise at all.
He went to a 'special school' as a child, we now realise he must be high functioning asd, which wouldn't have been picked up back then.
I do worry about him being lonely, but He seems content the way he is, we are just not all wired the same.

OrangeSwoosh · 14/09/2019 02:48

Meth lab.

It's always the ones you least suspect.

Ponoka7 · 14/09/2019 02:55

The windows not being opened could be something simple like having an indoor cat.

The curtains could be because he is a naturist. I used to have my curtains shut because i was often not dressed. If i opened my windows my proflic, hunting cat, would bring in half dead rats.

EmeraldShamrock · 14/09/2019 03:24

As long as there are no children in the house and he is getting out daily it should not be of any concern.

sashh · 14/09/2019 03:50

He's doing a long term social study to see if anyone notices and does something.

The rooms are lined with pictures cut from newspapers and messages written in a strange language, one day he will open the curtains and you will see an art installation he has been working on.

NorthEndGal · 14/09/2019 04:58

Not nosey my arse!

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 14/09/2019 05:04

It is a bit odd, and after 10 years it’s something I would have noticed. Beyond that, wouldn’t give it much thought.

PhilCornwall1 · 14/09/2019 05:17

It’s all very strange and weird, anyone else ever known anyone like this? Would you do anything

Oh absolutely I would. I'd take the usual mumsnet advice and call 101.

In reality though, I wouldn't give a toss. I don't care what my neighbours do or don't do, it's none of my business, unless they are doing something that really pisses me off, then I'd say something.

AntheasAcquaintance · 14/09/2019 06:50

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AntheasAcquaintance · 14/09/2019 06:52

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Independentcandidate · 14/09/2019 08:05

I couldn't bear the lack of light and air but guess it's pretty harmless

BritWifeinUSA · 14/09/2019 08:29

You seriously need to find something better to do with your time than spy on your neighbor and gossip about him with others. Maybe he opens the windows at night only? I have to sleep with a window open but during the day I usually close them. But who cares?

But you’re obviously convinced he’s cooking meth or storing the bodies of his victims...

EmeraldShamrock · 14/09/2019 10:12

What if there are children in the house and he is not getting out daily?
If there are DC in the house it is cruel to keep curtains drawn all day no light in.
It can also be a signed of a really depressed parent or neglected DC.
I know those who never open curtains will have excuses for keeping the house dark my neighbour has 3 DC they go to school locally so get to be in day light but the curtains are always pulled, garden looks like a jungle, kids are pale, parents too it is concerning.

Sleepymum45 · 14/09/2019 16:22

My Ds lived next door to someone like this. He had lived in the since he was 20.
You could see his window frames propped with big planks of wood inside (to keep them in place) The piles of papers built up over the years . He was passed retirement age.
He spoke, rarely, would take parcels in and drop them round.
One day he opened up, he had brought the house just after the war (2nd world war) for him and his bride to move into. He was jilted at the alter, he moved in and never did a thing. The house was the same as when he moved in when he passed.
He never got over being jilted.

Some times people just keep themselves to themselves. They don't like the hustle and bustle and making small chat.
Leave him be, if you don't see him for a couple of days, go check on him. But by trying to interfere you may be doing more harm.
That's how they found out the neighbour had passed away. Will always stick in my memory.