To be seriously miffed at nursery?

[User09201224]

Little one has started nursery again recently, 16mo. He's been before and all very positive. There seems to be a big shuffle round of staff and a big influx of kids with it being September. DS started with a snotty nose two days ago, nothing major. Not sure if teething or a cold. Sent him in today and mentioned he was snotty, needed Calpol and to phone me if he needed to come home (he had a really bad fever with his last lot of teeth that wouldn't come down). I called at lunch time and told he was absolutely fine.

Come pick up time he seems happy enough, if not sleepy as he never sleeps well there. After a cuddle I immediately noticed he had started with conjunctivitis (he'd rubbed snot in his eye last night. I'd washed it out and all seemed fine this morning although I was in a rush). He was also absolutely caked in snot. No exaggeration. It was all down the side of his face, dried on. And on both his hands.

I appreciate they're all snotty and you can't keep them immaculate etc etc but I felt genuinely embarrassed taking him to the doctors this evening. Nevermind embarrassment, I just think how rubbish I'd feel to be caked in snot all day (there was no easy this was only an hour's worth).

Managed to get an appointment this evening thanks to the lovely GP receptionist and only made it to the pharmacy with 3 minutes to spare before it shut. So very lucky we got some eye drops. But we did, so no harm done really.

I just can't quite believe that people who are trained and around kids all day did not notice conjunctivitis. I questioned it and they said they hadn't noticed. I said to them repeatedly this morning and on the phone at lunchtime (I know, I'm too precious, hence me needing a head wobble) to just call me if he needs to come home, never mind needing to see a doctor.

The being caked in snot has tipped me over the edge though.

In addition with all the staff changes he's not had some bottles which has lead to more wake-ups at night. I'm very tired and just ergh. (There is a reason for so many bottles at his age).

So, should I say something to nursery or am I a grumpy sleep deprived overly precious mare?

Hi OP
My DS is 17 so many many years away from nursery! I remember it like it was yesterday though. You are not being unreasonable - it is not too much to ask for staff to keep your child relatively clean (face and hands wiped at least) and most definitely to notice an inflamed eye.

Sorry - yes, so I would discuss it with them.

Thank you, that's reassuring to hear. When I read 17 years old I half expected you to say looking back that sort of stuff is so trivial. I'm not confrontational but will speak up if I have too but DP really doesn't like to say anything unless they've done something horrific.

Have you considered a childminder?

@ineedaweeinpeace I'm not keen because I like that he does so much at nursery and gets so much interaction. He's an only and will stay that way so I'm very keen to promote socialising from the off. Also, as ridiculous as it sounds, I get the fear when I think of just a person looking after them who hasn't got anyone else around to hold them accountable. You know in terms of if a nursery worker lost their rag with a kid, it just wouldn't be allowed. But a childminder could do anything and I'd be non the wiser because he can't talk. I know that's crazy to think like that but it's just how I feel.

I would definitely mention it to the nursery manager next time you go in - along the lines of you don't expect DS to be sparkling clean, but you were shocked at quite how caked in snot he was at pick up and that his pink eye had not been noticed. It could have just been "one of those days" or maybe staff have found that over wiping some children inflames their skin too much so they've been overcautious the other way?
so I'm 50:50 - say something but maybe not with all guns blazing

If he's poorly should you have kept him home to recover instead of sending him back in?
Seems a bit unfair that the nursery workers should have to look after unwell kids.
Though yes they should have wiped his snot and noticed conjunctivitis. Although it can come on / develop quite quickly.

I'm in two minds: kids can produce a huge amount of snot in a short time, and although its unpleasant, it's not harmful. If he has conjunctivitis that suggests more snot production than usual. No real harm done.

However, if the conjunctivitis is truly that and not leaky eyes due to a cold then nursery should have made you aware at the end of the day, or called you, in the interests of stopping it spreading to other children. Have they said he can go back as usual? Or imposed some sort of exclusion period?

I'm sure your GP has given you more accurate advice than a stranger off the internet but leaky eyes are very normal with toddlers who have cold and if its just a cold drops aren't necessary. They can have quite serious side effects so should be used with caution.

Why did you send your sick child to nursery?

Oh I wouldn't go in all guns blazing, I'm just not like that. It'd just be a quiet word if anything.

He's snotty and that's it @SuzieQ10. Totally happy playing, no fever. Could just be a bit of teething. I was desperate for a nap today (kidding, well not quite kidding but it would have been a nice perk) so would have quite happily kept him off if I'd have thought there was even the hint of a need.

@bobbiepin doctor saw him from the door and said oh yes I see what you mean. In both eyes as well. Agreed they produce unholy amounts of snot though. I've never seen anything like it prechildren.

@dirtyrottenscoundrel, see my previous post.

I would be seething OP. Speak to the nursery manager as soon as. I once picked up DD and she was running around in just her tights in winter. Well I kicked up the biggest stink that day. Shes easily poorly (preemie). She was, from that day forward, always dressed appropriately and dry.

Also nursery didn't even seem bothered when I mentioned it too them just 'oh no we didn't notice'. I think last time he was able to go in 48 hours later but that was because it was his first lot of antibiotics. Nothing mentioned today but will call them Monday morning to check.

My son used to get weird eyes every time he had a viral infection. It was conjunctivitis once.

So they might not have thought it was , and you could be overreacting.

Unless the nursery is usually not great, I wouldn't raise it with them.

It’s not a great sign of their level of care. Mine definitely didn’t wipe snot often, it’s probably better for their skin but all down his face is vile. I used to think in the winter half of the kids had a cold at any one time.

I felt the same about nurseries and them being more accountable but I’m not sure they are really op, the level of care is what matters.

YANBU. They should have given the right amount of bottles and kept cleaning his face and hands. I would be considering another nursery or a childminder.

Why did you send your sick child to nursery?

Oh please, are you trying to suggest you have a day off work every time you have a bit of a cold?

Also, you don't always need eye drops for conjunctivitis, it can clear up on its own. Sometimes just keeping them clean with cooled boiled water is enough

@Donnadarko, oh your poor DC.

He's had it once before that took a while to clear and doctor seems to think it is again, but who knows. There's obviously something going on with both eyes though.

@breaconoptimist it's a good point. I get their noses get sore so I try to not wipe that too often but his forehead was hardly going to get sore from the odd wipe through the day.

Sadly I think you're also right to a point. It's making me feel all wobbly about being back at work wondering if he is getting the care he should.

His key worker is fab, but the rest of the staff have gone to have babies or left recently so there's a load of new ones, and his key worker isn't in on a Friday. Just feels like it's lacking a bit at the moment.

@donnadarko, I thought this. I wonder why the gp just handed it over so easily? Especially with the battle with resistance at the moment. I'm a bit clueless with conjunctivitis. Only encountered it with DS.

I get the fear when I think of just a person looking after them who hasn't got anyone else around to hold them accountable.

But in your case today how many staff noticed - or rather didn’t notice - that he was covered in snot and had conjunctivitis? So no accountability. What gives you confidence that none of them will lose the rag at him?

@wildorchidz totally agree with you. Although I must say I don't have much faith in the three who were in today. Theres certain ones who are fab, and others that aren't. But no, you are right. If three of them can not notice then I guess my reasoning is silly.

Snot levels and spread seems a lot and I would address this gently.

Bottles - by 16 months I wouldn't expect a child who ate well to need that many in the day. All children are different though.

Kids smear snot. When left with it, it can quickly be a mess.
& I wouldn’t expect bottles at that age-so can see why it would be forgotten. Not necessarily ideal, but it certainly isn’t the norm for a child that age to have bottles in the day

You could say you’ve got more sway with a child minder because there is a more personal relationship and they have more to lose if a child goes.

More hands can also mean they all think someone else will do something.

Nurseries can change from good to bad quickly, if a good manager or a few key staff leave. I’d follow up, talk to them and if things aren’t better, look around.

If you have any friends with school aged dc, they’re good contacts for CM working around their school.