To be seriously miffed at nursery?

[User09201224]

Little one has started nursery again recently, 16mo. He's been before and all very positive. There seems to be a big shuffle round of staff and a big influx of kids with it being September. DS started with a snotty nose two days ago, nothing major. Not sure if teething or a cold. Sent him in today and mentioned he was snotty, needed Calpol and to phone me if he needed to come home (he had a really bad fever with his last lot of teeth that wouldn't come down). I called at lunch time and told he was absolutely fine.

Come pick up time he seems happy enough, if not sleepy as he never sleeps well there. After a cuddle I immediately noticed he had started with conjunctivitis (he'd rubbed snot in his eye last night. I'd washed it out and all seemed fine this morning although I was in a rush). He was also absolutely caked in snot. No exaggeration. It was all down the side of his face, dried on. And on both his hands.

I appreciate they're all snotty and you can't keep them immaculate etc etc but I felt genuinely embarrassed taking him to the doctors this evening. Nevermind embarrassment, I just think how rubbish I'd feel to be caked in snot all day (there was no easy this was only an hour's worth).

Managed to get an appointment this evening thanks to the lovely GP receptionist and only made it to the pharmacy with 3 minutes to spare before it shut. So very lucky we got some eye drops. But we did, so no harm done really.

I just can't quite believe that people who are trained and around kids all day did not notice conjunctivitis. I questioned it and they said they hadn't noticed. I said to them repeatedly this morning and on the phone at lunchtime (I know, I'm too precious, hence me needing a head wobble) to just call me if he needs to come home, never mind needing to see a doctor.

The being caked in snot has tipped me over the edge though.

In addition with all the staff changes he's not had some bottles which has lead to more wake-ups at night. I'm very tired and just ergh. (There is a reason for so many bottles at his age).

So, should I say something to nursery or am I a grumpy sleep deprived overly precious mare?

OP in your first post you said you didnt know whether he had a cold and needed Calpol. You also said it might be teething and when he'd been teething before, he'd had a serious temperature. Thats why some posters are saying you sent him in knowing he wasnt 100%.

@drogosnextwife my apologies. It appears I really am a terrible mother!

@africa2go my wording may not have been perfect. But I told them repeatedly if he wasn't okay to just call. I'm two minutes down the road. And he was fine. He's not now, but he was.

You haven’t done anything wrong OP!

Don’t worry - mixing up CMPA and lactose intolerance is a very common mistake, most people think they are the same thing. Essentially, babies with CMPA are allergic to a protein in dairy so they should avoid all dairy even lactose free products. Lactose intolerance means you can’t tolerate the sugar lactose, so you can have some special dairy products with the lactose removed.

I hope you get seen soon, it’s so stressful. Under the age of 2 he should be getting a hydrolysed formula on prescription rather than having oat milk etc as his main milk.

Fuck face seems an accurate description.

OP you've done nothing wrong sending your kid in with a runny nose.

Just woken up to see some of these messages!!

Absolutely disgusted and disappointed in some Mumsnetters. OP is a worried Mum and asked for advice. I have sent my little girl to nursery several times when she is under the weather and has had calpol. Nursery are great and deal with it because that’s life- you have work and get on with it. DD has been to nursery with conjunctivitis before- they treat it the same as a cold. Nursery could have phoned her if he needed to come home and it doesn’t excuse not cleaning his nose.

Sorry you’ve had such a hard time on here OP. I really hope it doesn’t knock your confidence as I have done the exact same thing many times and I would expect the nursery to call me if DD needed to come home.

You can’t just not go to work because your child has a runny nose and you had to give some calpol. You’d be off a couple days a month if that happened!

Of course your ds shouldn't have been left covered in snot.

If you don't want to make a big deal of it send him in with a small packet of tissues and mention them when you drop him ie Ds has a very runny nose, I've sent him with tissues can you wipe him regularly please so his face doesn't get sore.

I've worked with children for a very long time and would be mortified to leave a child with a snotty face all day. Very uncomfortable for him.

To those saying he shouldn't be in nursery, have you actually met a young child? If they were kept at home for a simple runny nose then schools and nurseries would be empty and there'd be no parents in work!

Thank you for all your messages this morning, has made me feel less awful. Poor little lad has a barking cough but is still quite happy playing. @SinkGirl he's on sma lf formula on prescription. That was going to be one of my questions for the paediatrician, can we use milk substitutes now. I imagine they'll put us on the milk ladder and say go from there.

The recommendations are to remain on hydrolysed formula (I’m not familiar with the SMA one and whether it’s lactose free or hydrolysed, which means the dairy protein is broken down essentially) so I’m not sure if something else would suit him better so I’d be asking about that. Hope the milk ladder goes well - my two still fail at the first stage sadly, but most toddlers I know grew out of it by 2.

Sorry, I meant remain on it until 2, not forever! Mine have oat milk now which has calcium etc added.

Well then they should have called her to pick him up if that was the case, as she requested. Unless her child was in that state when she dropped him off or OP is psychic, she couldn’t know - she even called them to check on him.

Oh @SinkGirl that must be so tricky for you. Will they ever grow out of it? I think you kind of get into the swing of it once you've done it a while, it's eating out or not being prepared that I find difficult. Always have meals in cool bags with us!

Fwiw, he's been great this morning just slobbery and snotty and gunky eyes but happy in himself. This afternoon he's been inconsolable. He's started gnawing everything too and the temperature has started. We've just had to out him down for bed/nap as he's shattered. Think he's teething and has a nasty cold. Me and DP have also come down with it and poor DSS is being an angel and just having to watch TV/play on his tablet whilst we deal with DS. Safe to say we are on our knees!

Oh it’s awful when they’re ill. Hope it passes quickly.

I’m still hoping they outgrow it, especially as DT2 has a more serious egg allergy as well, and I’m allergic to nuts and seeds... makes life tricky!

Oh wow that must be so tricky! Fingers crossed for you.

Little one has just woken up so hot. It's like an exact repeat of a few weeks ago with the teeth just with a chesty cough thrown in. He's had ibuprofen 3 hours ago and just given Calpol but worried the Calpol won't bring it down.

As a childminder if a child has a snotty nose

That has crusted over then it means it's not been wiped properly.

Kids come to my setting with a cold and runny noses that need wiping several times an hour. I expect to wipe it. I wouldn't tell the parents to keep them off with a heavy cold.

Under 5's have lots of colds because they're building up their immunity. You can't keep them off every time they have a cold.

I've not sent him in today as his eyes are still red, weepy and puffy and he has a cough. He probably could go in given he's on antibiotics and has been for almost three days but I don't feel I can trust them to take proper care of him when he's not on top form. This had made me realise that I really do need to have a word with them and if not, look for somewhere else. Thanks for all the advice everyone