Ndn funnies, tell me I'm not the only one lol.

[DrinkTaboo]

Hi all,

I was reading a thread on here about the house that won't sell and the OP has said her ndn are a big messy, to put it nicely lol.

This made me think back to when years ago, my ndn knocked on my door to ask me to not park my car on the street in daylight (outside our houses) as it was 'lowing the tone' and a "bloody eyesore". I laughed my head off as I thought it was really funny (not sure why looking back), he did not laugh and that was the start of the end.

So I have come to ask you if you have ever had a ndn request something that made you laugh but they were being deadly serious?

Mine asked me to have her indoor cat inside my house for three weeks while she went away for Christmas. And I did because I was too polite to say no . She wanted the car to have a sleepover as a trial run which it did. Then she was surprised I didn't let the cat sleep in my bed but I didn't give in on that one.

When she got back from holidays she would ask to call over at unreasonable times and wanted to go for drinks even though I was pregnant. When i got home from work in the evenings she would run out when she saw the car pulling up. She texted one day and said she knew I was home as she could see my bathroom light on.

Eventually she got the message and left me alone.

Lowing the tone?! LOWING the tone!!!!
No wonder you laughed!🤣

My ndn accosted my DH on the way in from the car to ask him not to park outside our house (partly to the side of his house) because it spoils his view from his arm chair. His view of beautiful scenery? No, of the house opposite! We said no... repeatedly.

My NDN constantly shouts out her window to my guests "coo-ee, coo-ee, are they ok? are the kids ok?" she sees us almost daily and asks us too!!!

She also recently asked if I could please park a little bit further back as she likes to watch the foxes but can't with the car there

We have one neighbour pair who could fill pages here. The one that springs to mind is when he rang the bell unexpectedly at 8.45am one Saturday over a year after we moved in to say that she had been worrying we'll paint our door a dark colour. They think this would be a mistake, they like the light colour it is right now. We don't have any immediate door painting ambitions (but when we do it'll probably be a stiffkey blue).

She shouts hello when I leave the house, then keeps saying she can't hear what I'm saying when I shout hello back, so I have to go to her... then she talks to me about lots and lots of things while saying she's busy and while I'm trying to leave to go wherever I was going.

Most recently he wondered if I could cancel a work call so that DH could climb on his roof within a specific one-hour interval. I said I couldn't, a few times. She must have explained he should've stopped asking after the first 5 times, because he dropped off flowers for me today, which means I have to go to see them tomorrow and get trapped chatting for hours.

They're lovely, they really are, but quirky. And very chatty.

Our NDNs are a lady in her 80s and her newly divorced son, about 50. She once told us through her think German accent she did like “immigrants” and she always has a UKIP poster in her window come election time.

He knocked on our door the other day to say he’d arranged to have our shared driveway cleaned with a power jet and he’s pay the cost - fine by me - when are they coming? - expected him to say next Wednesday or similar....nope in ten minutes....

*didnt like immigrants

Oh and she called the DVLA to report a car parked outside her house for a week without moving. It was my car that she watches me get the kids into every morning. Clearly didn’t put the two together. I don’t think she was concerned about someone parking outside her house, she was concerned that it hadn’t moved and thought it might have been dumped!

Mine asked me, in all seriousness, to make my cat stop staring at his dogs as it made them bark. He’s never spoken too me since I laughed as I thought he was kidding (his dogs barked at everything and my cat was in our garden and the dogs were peering through the fence!)

When I didn’t he reported me to the council. Apparently someone got in trouble as they thought he was a joke call!

I was in hospital for two weeks. We have a shared access drive with the attached house. When I got back, they hadn’t realised I’d been away. Our front doors are like 12 feet apart.

Another one wanted me to open a brothel with her. I have never work d in that industry, nor had she. I am clueless as to why she brought this up. I’m hoping she was pissed.

She didn't want to give us permission to extend our house up to the party wall because a) there were only two of us living there and we didn't need a big house in her opinion and b) My husband had been to public school, she thought (he hadn't!?), and it was unfair that we had the money to extend when she didn't.

Not my NDN because they are a whole other thread of their own (although they did once get really upset and not understand why we would let them extend into our attic space) and are far from homeless but one of the women next door has some hilarious requests.

Our house is an odd shape and attached to the end of a row of terraced houses and can be confusing for people to understand which street our house belongs to. Her house is an exact copy of ours but it has been divided into flats which makes finding her flat really difficult. She thinks we would make life easier for the postmen etc., if we converted our house into flats. She asks on a weekly basis when we will apply for the planning permission.

She asked if our children could have tennis lessons rather than rugby (which we travel 5 mile to so they actually in no way impact her) as rugby is “terribly down class”.

She told everyone on our street that we have a Victorian radiator and have underfloor heating in our garage. I don’t get WTAF any of that is about.

My ndn didn’t have a driveway so always parked on the road half in front of our house half in front of their house-no problem, it’s a public road.

One evening she knocked on my door to say she was parking over my drive & blocking me in because someone was in her space. There was plenty of space the other side of my driveway but seemingly that was too far from her front door! WTH does that?

Underfloor heating in our GARDEN, not garage. At least the garage would sort of make some sense.

Mine is funny about wheelie bins being out on bin day. We must be right at the start of the lorry route, because every week just after 7am they are emptied. I drag them out last thing the night before. Then on my way out at 8am I put it back behind my gate.

Ndn thinks bins should not be seen. He waits until the lorry comes round the corner before bringing his out, and it's put straight back. I'm unreasonable for leaving mine out all night, and he is completely hostile to those who are at work all day with bins in the wild roaming the cul de sac.

My neighbour tells anyone that will listen that I follow her. This is because she saw me on the same road as her once.

Mine asked me, in all seriousness, to make my cat stop staring at his dogs as it made them bark. He’s never spoken too me since I laughed as I thought he was kidding (his dogs barked at everything and my cat was in our garden and the dogs were peering through the fence!)

Haha! He would hate my cat. She sits on the neighbours windowsill and stares in 👀😸

My elderly ndn said she was having problems with her garden being over run with pigeons. She said they were nesting in a tree in my garden, and asked me to cut it down as it was causing her distress.
I had a tree surgeon come and cut it down which cost me £100s
3 weeks later I was sat in my kitchen when I saw a spray of water jetting across the garden at head height. I immediately thought a pipe had burst in my utility , so ran outside to find ndn with a hosepipe trying to disturb the pigeons that were apparently nesting in another of my trees!
I had it cut right back for her, again at my expense.
Some time later she knocked at my door while I was out and told dd4 ( 16 at the time) to tell me that I would need to take down the hedge as they must be nesting in there, as her garden was still full of pigeons.
I went round to speak to her as I had no intention of taking the hedge down, only to find on entering her back garden NINE bird feeders each with a different food in , all over the garden.
Apparently though, this had nothing to do with the source of her problem

I was talking to my neighbour on his driveway when the lady across the street marched over and angrily told him that his cat was bullying her cat making it afraid to go out, we both stared at her so, hands on hip, she demanded to know what he was going to do about it. He turned and said "leave it with me love, I'll have a word with him". She seemed really pleased with his answer and toddled off. I was helpless with laughter.

@NoTheresa lol, that will teach me to laugh at my old ndn lolol 😂 I blame the laughing too much for my bad spelling 🤣

Omg these are funny, the cat looking at the dog, how very dare the dog do such a thing lol.

Btw @WaggingKnife I'm jealous of this underfloor heated garden lol

Omg @pippapotomus I have had this too. I got a note from one ndn telling me off for leaving my bin out once lol. You can get fined you know! Lolol

Mine has complained that my doorbell is the wrong side of my door because she can't reach it from her front door (terraced cottages, tiny front gardens with small dividing walls so she wants to be able to reach over the wall and ring the bell), has asked me to put a gate in my rear garden fence so she can just pop in as and when. If she sees my back door open, she'll shout for me and if I don't reply (because I'm hiding...!), will furiously whack the fence with a broom until I give in and come out of hiding!

She's 85 and either wants to chat, give me windfalls from her apple tree, flowers from her garden or pokes dog biscuits through a hole in the fence for DDog! Bless her!

I've only lived here for 12 months, she started all of this the day my removal van arrived!!

She's such a character, full of life, very bossy, has a huge family - but I do still hide from her sometimes!! 😂

Oh god I am snorting... The cat! The pigeons!

The wild bins roaming the cul-de-sac! 😂

One of our NDN's ask to mow our front garden as he didn't have grass to cut in his own garden as it has stones. Errr yes saves me a job! Bit weird when he started planting bushes etc in our garden had to tell him to stick to the grass cutting and that's it if he really wanted to. Came out one day and he had cut the hedge right down. I asked why and he said because he couldn't see over it... erm you're not supposed to it's our garden 😂.

When I was living with parents their NDN kept complaining the dog was getting into his garden... which he then stated the dog was moving the slide then putting it back again... 🙄 very clever dog!

I must be lowering the tone of my farm road as my recycling bins sit outside the gate 24/7 between the gate and the hedge! Mind you, so do all three bins from the big posh house up the road. 😃