Ndn funnies, tell me I'm not the only one lol.

[DrinkTaboo]

Hi all,

I was reading a thread on here about the house that won't sell and the OP has said her ndn are a big messy, to put it nicely lol.

This made me think back to when years ago, my ndn knocked on my door to ask me to not park my car on the street in daylight (outside our houses) as it was 'lowing the tone' and a "bloody eyesore". I laughed my head off as I thought it was really funny (not sure why looking back), he did not laugh and that was the start of the end.

So I have come to ask you if you have ever had a ndn request something that made you laugh but they were being deadly serious?

My ndn said my plants were seeding over his fence and could I stop them.

We were on the Berkshire downs. There were thousands of acres producing pollen & seeds but it was definitely my plants & my seeds.

Then he got upset because my dp was whistling in the garden at 10am on a Sunday morning. Not appropriate apparently.

My DPs NDN can be a bit crazy over parking. I know no one owns the road outside their house etc. The neighbours have 4 cars. One on driveway, one across driveway, one outside their house, one outside my DPs. You can fit two cars outside each house, esp if you park tight and accept you may have to move one of your cars to let another out.

When I visit, I park outside my parents house, right up to their car. They will deliberately park to try to stop this. They will park two cars outside my parents house if they can regularly. Alternative parking available a few hundred metres away.

My mother uses a walking stick.

My mother uses a walking stick.

@Heyduggeefordays Hahahaha!

My neighbour's front door opens directly on to the (very narrow) pavement and she has a number of planters etc on the pavement with leaves etc spilling on to the road. She sees no problem with blocking the path so that anyone passing needs to walk on the road. However, she has asked me several times to find an alternative way to get to my driveway as apparently 'someone' keeps damaging her plants by running over the parts of them that are in the road.

Another neighbour once handed me a bill for several thousand pounds after I dinted her (fairly old) fiesta whilst trying to reverse park. When it happened we swapped insurance details, I was very apologetic and all seemed fine. Her car was perfectly safe to drive but she decided to leave it with the garage until they had time to fit in the repair. In the meantime she was driving around in a practically brand new sporty looking car. When her car came back she handed me a bill for thousands for 'luxury' car hire that the insurance companies would not pay.

@lovelygreenjumper you paid, of course??

A couple of years ago, my NDN phoned me to ask if I'd recorded BBC Breakfast that morning. I said I hadn't and why did she think I would have? She said her nephew had been interviewed and she hadn't bothered recording it herself because she thought I always did . She was really pissed off with me! Bonkers!

A neighbour would phone my dad and ask him to come over and poo off her dog's bum.

However did he manage that? Did he have to perch himself precariously upon the dog's hind quarters whilst doing his dirty business?!

Like a PP, my NDNs have no grass in either of their gardens but own a strimmer. They’ve trespassed a few times to cut my grass. Completely batshit. They like to command me sort my gardens out and tell me they don’t like the look of it. I don’t like the look of your face Mavis but I keep it to myself

@ProhibitedRodent she put in an objection but council planning rightly ignored it!

When my kids were younger we lived on the 7th floor of a tower block with solid concrete floors, my then 4 and 9 year olds were playing with a balloon, patting it to each other, the lady downstairs knocks on my door and demands my children stop jumping around as they were making her furniture shake !! Hi said I would, I then said very sweetly oh congratulations on your new baby, it’s a shame she has colic, her response was how do you know she has colic, I said because her crying keeps me up all night but being a mother I wouldn’t complain about a child making noise, she walked away very embarrassed

Our ndn asked us not to shower in our detached!!!! House after 10pm as the husband has to get up early the next day and he could hear the water running into the drain!!!!!
They also complained to the council that we left our bins out even though they knew we were at GoSH for our daughters surgery!!

Oh and can my kids not play in the garden after 6pm as they put DC to bed at 6 and it's not fair that they can hear my children of the same age being allowed to 'stay up late' 😡😂🤦‍♀️

Took a parcel round to an older (60) neighbour who opened the door in tiny white briefs, didn’t make any kind of attempt to cover himself. Then during the course of a brief convo asked me if I wanted to go to a bbq with him
Since then I’ve refused any delivery for him, maybe that’s a bit mean but I can’t unsee those briefs (not envy)

Our ndn hates us as we own the freehold to the building. There is no allocated parking but we all still stick to our normal parking spaces but it is not a rule. Another neighbour (who is actually really good friends with the ndn who hates us) was moving house and asked if we could park over the other side of the drive so her moving van could park where we normally do to make it easier for her to pack. Not a problem at all.

Our managing agents (we employ them to look after the block as we don't want the hassle) called us the monday to say they had a stream of emails over the weekend from her saying we had the cheek to park over the other side of the driveway (remember no allocated parking) and it's disgusting how we think we are better than her as we own the freehold and we think we can do whatever we like etc...... they said it was about 6 emails in an hour.

Then they received an email about 10 minutes after the abuse ones saying could they disregard all of those as she had just spoken to her friend and she realised that was why we had parked where we had.

It all gets very draining. Our response via the agents was "no one is allocated a space. As freeholders we don't have to provide a space (it's not in the lease) and if it was going to cause this level of argument then we would remove all rights to parking on site and leaseholders could park on the road" apparently she called up in tears saying she was sorry but she doesnt like us and what's us to suffer but she needs her parking space.

She is just batshit crazy and luckily for us morning out soon thank god.

Same batty ndn also complained about our child keeping her awake since the day she was born. She didn't move in until she was a year old and sleeping through the night.

I once had my neighbor complain that my cat was meowing in my garden. At 5pm.

My old ndn, who was 84 when we moved in, used to invite my dh around to his house every Friday night to watch porn with him and his friends (he didn't go).

These are great

When I lived in a block of flats, the upstairs neighbour came down to tell us we were putting too much rubbish in the bins. I did point out that there was 1 of him and 5 of us but he didn't budge. He wanted us to keep our rubbish in the house until bin day.

The conversation confused me so much that I phones the cleansing department. The woman listened to my story, burst out laughing and said "Some people just have far too much time on their hands, don't they?" and that was the end of that.