Prams and buses!

[bluedungareesandspottytrainers]

Hi!

First time mum but long time poster (I've nc!)

I'm getting the bus with my baby today. The journey takes about 45 mins and I'm already worrying about it 🤦🏻‍♀️ He will sleep the journey I would imagine and is not a baby that cries a lot so that is not my worry.

I have to be there for a certain time so my plan is to get the earlier bus just in case there's already a pram / wheelchair user on board.

But what if I'm on the bus and someone with a wheelchair wants to get on? My pram doesn't fold down. Do I get off? I've no idea what the etiquette is for this and don't want to be a nob!

I'm aware I'm worrying over a hypothetical situation. I'm a bit stressed about some other things so I think I've blown this out of proportion 🙈

Can I just ask what people think of this situation. I work for a disability organisation and we have a member of staff with hyper mobility and arthritis and one with epilepsy both just got back of maternity leave.
A few weeks ago the members of staff with hyper mobility and arthritis was asked to leave a bus to make way for a wheelchair user. She was with her baby in a pram on the way to drop baby off at childminders and then go into work.

When she explained her disability and she was having a bad day and did not feel she could safely take her baby out of the pram she got a load of abuse both from the wheelchair users and another passenger. She ended up getting off the bus in tears, walking the final couple of miles and by the time she got to us she was nearly in a state of collapse.

The other member of staff with epilepsy has seizures out of the blue and also feels she could not hold safely on the knee but he would be fine in the pram
Neither can drive due to their disability so the bus is the only option. Taxis would cost the earth.

Just wondering what people think

Bluebelldaisy they're wheelchair spaces, therefore you use the bus on the understanding that you might have to fold your pram and carry your baby. What are people supposed to think?

a wheelchair space is just that. its for people in a wheelchair.

Thankfully I rarely have to get buses with Ds.

A few years I did and and a mother refused to move her son in a pushchair so his wheelchair would get on. The driver turned off the engine and said he wouldn’t be moving until she did. There was actually enough space at the other side for the buggy with child still in but she wanted to keep the wheelchair space - she moved eventually!

Actually non wheelchair users are only supposed to move if it can be 'reasonably expected' of them - according to the poster who actually looked into what the law says on this. Therefore it isn't a blanket 'this trumps that'.

It’s just interesting that’s all. We asked all our wheelchair users who are staff and volunteers of which we have many (over 20) and 100% said in that case they would not expect the person to fold the pram as they had a disability which meant it would be unsafe for them to fold and hold baby. It’s a debate that will go on and on and we have had it many times at work

OP, it’ll be fine. In the several yeast that I was regularly taking a buggy on a bus, not once did a wheelchair user need the space. Obviously, if a wheelchair user had, I would have got off and waited for another bus, but it simply never happened.

So be prepared, but don’t worry too much.

Blue that is a very difficult situation but at the end of the day the space is for wheelchairs specifically. Of course she shouldn’t have got abuse but her buggy was taking a space that is wheelchair priority. It’s a shame no-one on the bus could have helped out.

@Bluebelldaisy they are wheelchair spaces not disability spaces.

Unfortunately if you have another disability you need to see if you can get a pram/buggy that you can collapse easily (or hope someone else knows how to collapse it.) Unless everyone on the bus is a CF someone should help you hold your bits.

Even in London people are helpful if you have a baby/small child though the bus drivers themselves can be a-holes.

One of our wheelchair users also made the point that the baby/toddler may have a disability meaning they have to stay in the pram on a bus. Many use prams until they are ready for a wheelchair.

Yep, if pram doesn’t fold down you have to get off.

To the PP, you are overthinking it! You’ll be fine. Although depending how big your pram is, it’s usually easier to enter the back doors (that’s what she said)

@Colafreezepop that just wasn't my experience at all. I lived most of my life in London and then in a very isolated rural community and in neither place did people fall over themselves to help in the way you describe. If that was majority human nature there would be no need for paid assistance either for disabled people or struggling mums with prams at railway stations. Most people nowadays are absorbed in their smartphones or just in their own lives generally.

a lot of wheelchair users can't answer that Bluebelldaisy.
there is an assumption that people in wheelchairs are all the same.
the ones I know (dd included) have complex needs and would not be able to say that. fine if a more able person is happy to wait hours for a bus that will let them on. but for a lot of people that is not the case.
just because one wheelchair user can say that, it does not mean they speak for all.

Widdlin I completely understand the strength of your opinions given the provocation, but must just correct you on the safety argument: taking a baby on the bus is far far safer than walking, and somewhat safer than driving them in a car seat. Physics is a wonderful protector.

It may be a bit different in our area I have just asked a colleague and she says the spaces are all called accessible spaces in our local buses and not wheelchair spaces

And people can argue until the cows come home that people may have hidden disabilities etc which makes their need greater, however the fact is the vast majority wont,and a wheel.chair spaces just that a space for a wheelchair,I son is severely autistic so there was also.disabled as a toddler but it never crossed my mind that we had priority over wheel chair users when he was in a push chair .

Gosh I had no idea that wheelchairs rule over prams. I never even realized that prams folded up these days either. Well they certainly won’t or don’t fold them where I live. My elderly & disabled mom stopped getting her usual bus each day as there was nowhere to sit & much abuse from the pram brigade. There’s not really room for either on our buses to be honest. Perhaps a separate bus would be the answer.

Just a reminder that disabilities of all kinds (not just those necessitating wheelchair use), parental status and maternity, sex and age are all protected characteristics in the uk, and that we don't have a hierarchy for these.

If a wheelchair users says “is ok I will wait for the next one” then that is their choice.

However unless the space is being used by another wheelchair user or a child in a SN buggy then they should get to access the space that has been allocated for them. The only space they can actually access on the bus.

A newborn can't go in a folding stroller Yes they can, if it's suitable from birth. Obviously have to choose the right one.

@Rufflecow my experience over 20 years including with my toddler now is people are actually helpful if you are with babies and young children in London as long as you don't take them on a peak rush hour bus or train.

In regards to adults with disabilities or even clear mobility problems it really depends. Some people have a horrid experience, there as I've seen members of the public help get a wheelchair user of the train irregularly for about 3 weeks because her booked assistance didn't turn up to allow her to get off.

@GREATAUNT1 how do you think people get them in their cars?

Of course, buses could be redesigned to allow more space for buggies and wheelchairs. But I suppose that would be demanding too much common sense.

i really wish the wheelchair space was only used for wheelchairs. that way this problem would not arise

But in most cases there won't be anyone with a wheelchair on the bus, but there will be parents with buggies wanting to get on. I guess it depends where you live, but in my area you rarely see people in wheelchairs. Where my mum lives there are loads of mobility scooters - different demographic.

I love threads like this. You can really tell who the arseholes are.

Agreed @MidniteScribbler although tbh I think the thread was designed to start exactly this debate. Yet again.

Yes, arseholes who think newly delivered mothers have cast iron muscles, limitless strength and limitless cash to purchase expensive buggies just for the priviledge of using public transport. The same arseholes who would never be in this position themselves because they mainly travel by SUV or the nanny does it for them.