To expect a thank you at least?

[LampLighterInn]

'Morning all,

This is bugging me somewhat and I'd appreciate your thoughts.

I recently looked after my friend's cat for 2 weeks whilst they were away. I also looked after her when friend was away earlier in the year, in fact I've often been asked and have always said 'yes'.

I look after her pretty well, I pop up to friend's house twice, often 3 times a day (if she doesn't appear) and I sit with her for 30 mins whilst she eats, walks away, comes back, eats and we usually have a play and a cuddle, she's a sweet cat. I wash up her bowls so that they are clean when friend returns home.

The bit that has got me is that friend never thanks me, not a text, or a face to face, even after she's returned home and we've met up. I asked how Cat is when we met and friend replies that 'Cat' is really good but never says: "Thank you for looking after her for me" it might sound trivial but I feel taken for granted, especially as she doesn't return the favour when I'm away.

I have another friend look after my pets, she does it beautifully and to recognise this I buy her a thank you card and a gift, she's doing me a huge favour and looking after my pets is an effort for her and takes time out of her day.
This friend is not a friend of 'Cat's' owner.

When I met up with the first friend after her holiday, she was carrying a gift bag but didn't mention it, so when we said goodbye I referred to it and it was a gift for someone else!

So I'm feeling....well, upset to be honest.

This isn't an isolated incident, there's been a number of things in the past that have happened.

AIBU to expect a 'thank you'? Or is this just how things are these days?

She is using you. Why would you do this more than once?

Yanbu. This is basic manners. You sound like a lovely cafmt babysitter though :)

She is rude and taking you for granted!

Say you are busy next time.
Some people just take.

Yanbu
I looked after my friends cat a few weeks ago and they got me a thank you card and a bottle of gin. Not necessary but much appreciated.

Stop doing it, let her pay someone to do it

Just say no, i won't be able to this time, you should try contacting a pet sitter

Why do you keep doing it when you know “friend” has fuck all in the way of manners? ¯\(ツ)/¯

Stop helping her as she's so impolite about it

@Butchyrestingface that's a good question, I guess because Cat is lovely, also because of my situation Friend knows I'm available (I'm disabled).

As you parted company you should have said "did you say something? Oh I thought you said thank you for looking after your cat, silly me".
Next time, be busy, unavailable, she clearly doesn't appreciate your time and effort.

Yanbu

Your 'friend' sounds like one of life's takers

A thank you and a small gift from hols would have made all the difference.

I get the cattery lady chocs every time she has our cat and we pay her obviously.

She is taking advantage of your kindness

Thank you Everyone,

Like I said, this is not isolated and reading your replies makes me realise I'm being well and truly used.

You are not being unreasonable. A friends teenage son helped his mum look after our dog and take it for walks whilst I was away for 2 weeks. I gave them a thank you card and cash for the young lad. She's a cheeky sod.

“Friend knows I'm available (I'm disabled).”

Her attitude is patronising and exploitative. I bet she thinks she is doing you a favour by letting you play with her cat.

I used to pay the neighbours teens to look after our cat.

If you have the time, set up a little pet-feeding business. Put a card in the newsagent and charge. Then tell her she can be a priority client with a small discount.

I’d have said “friend, it really bothers me that you don’t say thank you when I’ve been looking after the cat. Is something wrong?” Then she will be a class bitch if she doesn’t come out with a gushing apology

Very cheeky. Our neighbours look after our cats for us, they just pop in and leave food and don't spend time with them like you do. That's a huge commitment

We always bring them a gift, thank them profusely and help them out in other ways.

Do they not even ask if the cat was ok while they were away? Such CFuckery

Don’t be available next time she goes on holiday. Once she sees how expensive a cattery is, she’ll realise!

That’s outrageous.

When friends have looked after my pets I’ve always expressed my gratitude with words and gifts.

@MildThing I like your thinking! This is a very good idea

@DingDongDenny no, there is never any question over how Cat is. When I've text her because Cat hasn't appeared she isn't worried.

She a CF! I wouldn't do it again. Let her pay for a cat sitter or cattery next time.

@StealthPolarBear thank you! It's a shame because I enjoy spending time with Cat and that's how I've settled it within my own mind, but this year I really felt friend had taken the p**s.

My friend does this for me when I go for a weekend away, (maybe twice per year) I usually get her a bottle of vodka and a box of chocs each time, she gets an extra present at Christmas "from the cat".

How spectacularly rude!!!

When I go on holidays my NDN comes over every other day to top up the feeding bowl. Doesn't even stay as cat likes to do her own thing. Still, I always bring food gifts from our holidays and pay the children some money!!