To expect a thank you at least?

[LampLighterInn]

'Morning all,

This is bugging me somewhat and I'd appreciate your thoughts.

I recently looked after my friend's cat for 2 weeks whilst they were away. I also looked after her when friend was away earlier in the year, in fact I've often been asked and have always said 'yes'.

I look after her pretty well, I pop up to friend's house twice, often 3 times a day (if she doesn't appear) and I sit with her for 30 mins whilst she eats, walks away, comes back, eats and we usually have a play and a cuddle, she's a sweet cat. I wash up her bowls so that they are clean when friend returns home.

The bit that has got me is that friend never thanks me, not a text, or a face to face, even after she's returned home and we've met up. I asked how Cat is when we met and friend replies that 'Cat' is really good but never says: "Thank you for looking after her for me" it might sound trivial but I feel taken for granted, especially as she doesn't return the favour when I'm away.

I have another friend look after my pets, she does it beautifully and to recognise this I buy her a thank you card and a gift, she's doing me a huge favour and looking after my pets is an effort for her and takes time out of her day.
This friend is not a friend of 'Cat's' owner.

When I met up with the first friend after her holiday, she was carrying a gift bag but didn't mention it, so when we said goodbye I referred to it and it was a gift for someone else!

So I'm feeling....well, upset to be honest.

This isn't an isolated incident, there's been a number of things in the past that have happened.

AIBU to expect a 'thank you'? Or is this just how things are these days?

She probably thinks she's doing you a favour. I can imagine the conversation when she's telling someone else about it.. "Oh we're so lucky, we have a friend who adores our cat, loves looking after him".

Start saying No, since you're not worth a Thank You 😡

She's a CF. Friends who have fed my animals where I don't reciprocate I pay (or, at least try to) and say thanks. The person who feeds them now has pets of her own, so we just feed the other's when needed, but do always say thank you.

Next time she asks tell her you can't as you're feeding someone elses, and you don't want to turn them down as you get paid too well!

I was all prepared to say YABU, but your friend is taking advantage of you. I've looked after pets for people and always got a thank you and token gift.

Over £100 a week to board my cat. Just saying.

Next time she asks tell her you can't as you're feeding someone elses, and you don't want to turn them down as you get paid too well!

Good idea 😂 Tell her it's your new venture, and you charge £20 a day.

Wow! If someone came in and did what you did for our cat we would be over the moon appreciative, a huge thank you and a lovely gift guaranteed. She is definitely taking you for granted.

Next time she asks tell her you can't as you're feeding someone else's and you don't want to turn them down as you get paid too well!

Yes, I would be tempted to do this!

We looked after our neighbour’s cat for four weeks and she came back with lots of presents for our DC, a lovely oil burner and fancy booze. Our eldest lad fed the cat for a week when we were away ourselves (he was house sitting) and she gave him £30!
You are being taken advantage of love.

That's not on at all. My pet sitter moved away, so I now pay a professional to come in, but when a friend used to do it, I always left a thank you card and gifts on the first day they came in.

I think I would either be "too busy" next time they ask or as a PP suggested, tell her you're setting up a business and will give her a loyalty discount as your first customer!

Can't believe she doesn't ask after the cat though. Mine's my little baby and I always ask and have a camera set up in the house so I can check on her

Bad mannered and ungrateful, not a friend in my book.

I look after friends cat when they are away, she lovely, it reminds me of when I had my own cats but without the long term commitment

When they get back they take me out to lunch (at a Michelin star restaurant last year) , I don't expect them to and it wouldn't worry me if they didn't , but they say they know their girl is being well looked after being spoiled and without that they wouldn't enjoy their holiday.

If someone is so ungrateful that they don't even say thankyou I would reconsider the arrangement for next time.

My friend runs a small animal rescue. After she lost her mum at a young age, she asked if l'd be willing to look after the rescue for a week while she and her partner took her dad away for a break.
Before they went away she gave me (a very generous amount of) money to cover my petrol and to buy 'top up' fresh food (the dry/ambient stuff was in the shed at the rescue). When they came back they brought me presents. Not that l expected them, but it's nice when people appreciate what you do for them. l've looked after the rescue a few times and she's always appreciative and thanks me on the social media page for the rescue.
Your 'friend' is a user. l'd be conveniently unavailable next time she needs a cat sitter.

My NDN was like this. I made myself unavailable they have moved on to another neighbour then they moved house so I noticed she had another neighbour doing it. When I did it I got a thanks but not so much as a bottle of wine...they had been to France for three weeks!

I occasionally have to go away and as my DH works away I ask my BF son to do it. I take him some cider. I try to get different ones as he likes to try them. When I went to Bristol I brought back some from down there. When he was off work with an injury we gave him some money. I am generally only away from Friday to Sunday night. I wouldn't dream of asking someone without giving a little thank-you gift as I really appreciate it.
Perhaps you could make yourself unavailable next time.

I recently looked after my brothers dog while he was away and they left me some chocolates and an asortment of alcoholic drinks to help myself to as I stayed in their house.

Your friend is taking the piss out of you.

I’d be tempted to say yes one last time and then on the second day she was away text her and say the cat is missing. Continue to feed but fail to respond to any further enquires.

Setting up on your own in business is a better idea though. Ask if she will be your first reference.

In the meantime read this Hilarious spoof about cat owning CFerry. 😉

Crikey. I have always gone full-on feet-kissing thank you, wine, gift thing. Her cat deserves better. And so do you.

My friend always brings me a little present back from her holiday when I've looked after her cat. And text thank you and said in person too. Also, it's never for longer than a week. If she's away longer it will be divided between two people. 2 weeks is a long time to care daily for someone else's pet!
Don't feel bad for saying No next time. She's taking you for granted.

I think she is being a general CF TBH .What person expects their friend /NDN whatever to look after Cat for free?.No gift or little card ,they can jog right on!.Just say to her that you are finding it a bit "too much"!.Cat Sitting idea a good one .

Ingratitude is a horrible trait. Definitely wouldn’t do it again.

That is awful and so rude. You’re definitely being taken for granted. I’d have to say something but that would probably end the friendship.
I wish you were my cat sitter you sound so wonderful! I would definitely appreciate you.

In the meantime read this Hilarious spoof about cat owning CFerry.

I don't think the CFery was by the cat owner!

Yes, not even saying thank you is beyond rude. She should say thank you at the very least and really she should get you a gift or something. If I was asking someone to look after a pet that frequently - especially if i was asking them to go in three times a day, which is quite a commitment - I would offer to pay them for their time at whatever rate a professional cat sitter charges.

It sounds as if she doesn't care much about you or the cat, to be honest.

God! When our friends looked after our cat in a similar fashion, I sent them a hamper from John Lewis!

Wow, I get a bottle of wine when I cat sit for a friend for 2-3 days. And a lot of thanks. Your friend is a CF. Say no going forward and if she asks why you have the right to say flat out ‘you don’t appreciate my effort so it’s hard to make one.’

Totally unacceptable.

If my friends look after my dog for a few hours, I pick her up with a bottle of wine as a thank you. Anything more than a few hours, she goes to my dog sitter.